hannah makes everything better
(hannah and me, part twenty...naturally)


today was one of my "kevin can be an ass" kind of days. i woke up with a plan in my head as to how the day would play itself out. time on the computer. maybe blog. maybe just surf around. drink something with caffeine. let my body wake up. work out. lazy around 'til time to head into the store. nothing big. nothing out of the ordinary. but that was going to be my day. well, it took all the time to come downstairs and check my messages for all of that to change. sarah had left me a voice-mail telling me that hannah's valentine's day party (which we knew about and had prepared for) was something that parents were invited to (the part we didn't know about). nevermind that i had been to the church three times in the last two days and had left without this knowledge, but left without it i had. so, sarah is already up to her neck in work and asks if i can go and party with the baby girl. my initial reaction? hell no. my day was already planned!!! didn't you know that?!?!

"do you already have lunch plans?"

"well, no."

"so, what were going to do with your day?"

"...uh, work out."

"that's fine. i can just go and not work during lunch."

"fine. bye."

and so i hung up and was steaming. how dare something come up and throw off my completely boring plan for my day. it wasn't the party or hannah that i had an issue with. it was the daycare for not telling me about it. it was the not knowing earlier so i could have just started my pre-workout routine earlier and not feel rushed for time. it was, for lack of a better explanation, just me being a dick. i, at the very least, came to this realization and altered my plans. no time for the internet. i cleaned up in the work out room. got a mountain dew code red and headed upstairs.

then comes more good news. after my first series of reps were finished i glanced at my phone and saw that i missed a call while the music was up. i just assumed it was sarah calling to confirm the time of the party like i had asked her to do. well, it wasn't. it was one of hannah's teachers telling me that she had fallen this morning and bumped her face. those of you that know me know that this news was followed by a profanity-laced tirade barked to the walls and sending the workout-observing kitties back downstairs. how dare they let this happen to my little girl?!?! what are they doing??? the message ended by her telling me that hannah was ok and that she hoped to see me at the party.

oh...they would see me alright. the second and third parts of my workouts were as easy as they have been in weeks. my juices were (over)flowing at this point, and i all i wanted was to get to the school and ask the teachers why they weren't watching the class (at least hannah) more closely. oh...they would see me alright. (this is me being a dick, part two)

thankfully for everyone involved, the workout provided the release that my fury needed. by the time i was headed to the church, i was calm. i was just ready to check out hannah for any sort of symptoms that would lead me to believe we needed to take her to the doctor. and so i went in. and there was my little girl with her first real black eye. it was a pathetic little sight. her smiling from ear to ear because she had no idea i was coming to see her, but her right eye not opening quite as far as it usually does because of the swelling. i dropped to my knees. gave her a big hug. and asked her how she was. she was herself. happy. bubbly. ready to tell me all about how she fell down. hit her eye. got some ice that was very cold. and tell me that she was "ok daddy".

"are you sure you are ok?"

"daddy. i told you. i am O...K!!!"

"alright, alright."

i sat down with her and the rest of her class. only one other daddy made a short appearance and then left before we had lunch. i had tons of snotty, sweaty, clingy, disgusting other people's kids hanging all over me, but it was wonderful. it tickled hannah to see her friends using "that's my daddy" as a jungle gym, and we had a blast. one of her teachers prepared a feast for me and all the other parents that didn't show up. i felt bad that there was so much food but not so bad when she sent a plate of extras home for me and sarah. hannah and i shared mac and cheese, chicken wings, meatballs, deviled eggs and a cupcake. we shared some alone time while the cots were being put out. we shared a huge hug and kiss. and then i laid her down, gave her her kitty blanket, kissed her goodnight and i was gone.

it was never hannah that upset me this morning. it was never any one thing. i've always struggled with having one thing in my head and then having to adjust when that plan is changed for whatever reason. but after leaving her, being or feeling like a dick twice this morning seems that much more silly. hannah makes everything better. and she doesn't even have to try.

thanks for the valentine's day memory, baby girl. you're the best.

a quick update from the last post: remember colin cowherd, the espn talk radio host that called southerners "tornado bait" and backed it up by saying that we could choose where we live? sarah gave me this nugget of news yesterday. the bad weather that came through birmingham yesterday also came through new orleans and spun off a few tornadoes. the only fatality from those storms? an older woman living in a trailor she was given after katrina took her home. i guess she should've "chosen" somewhere else to live, huh colin? i hope you hear this and feel like a douchebag, douchebag.