"i am not superstitious, but i am a little stitious"
(the week that was)


working ten days in a row has made it harder than i would like to sit down and focus on a post lately, but i finally reached the end of my tunnel and can celebrate with a couple days off today and tomorrow. the marathon actually went by much faster than i was preparing myself for, which helps me make sense of the reality of how little i remember about the last six days. let's look back.

monday (night) - most of the day, monday, was spent looking forward to getting home from work and watching heroes. the episode was not great just because it spent all hour setting up about eight different storylines for the upcoming season, but it did a pretty good job of catching the viewer up with the primaries from last year and making sure we knew what they were up to. i've read that the season will be split up into two "volumes", and the weekly hours will be a little more focused. we'll see how that works. it won't matter. this show won me over last year, so unless it really starts to suck, i am in it for the season.

tuesday - a brutal day at work. there are days at the store where the chief focus is on store maintenance and the customers. and then there are days like tuesday. truck days. where i lift amounts of pet food and supplies that can be measured in tons (i am not kidding). these days leave little to be desired, and i was happy as a lark to get away and head home for a bit before my softball game. the game was fun. i killed the ball and went 5 for 5 on the night and drove home satisfied after our third straight win. when i got home, sarah and i found our first possible "hidden gem" of the new tv season in a show called reaper on the cw network. it's a black comedy about a 21 year-old guy whose soul was sold to the devil and satan, himself, shows up on the day that he's legally old enough to drink to collect his due. dude's job will be to capture escaped-from-hell souls and deliver them to portals around his hometown. the concept is funny enough to be interesting. and through one show, the devil is the most level-headed guy in the room (naturally). i am interested to see how many sermons i can find in each episode. that is, until the show is canned because no one watches the cw network.

wednesday - the eye of the work-hurricane that was tuesday and thursday, wednesday wasn't too bad. i came home and we took off for our first wednesday night church dinner in for-ev-er. it felt really weird to go have dinner at church and not sit at a table surrounded by youth and college-age. but it was fine. we skipped the program, because the folks in our sunday school class are bad influences. came home and watched bionic woman. dude. that show kicked ass. i want to be bionic. but i'd rather not have to suffer through losing limbs in a terrible carwreck. is there some sort of compromise?

thursday - sarah and i watched journeyman before i left for work. pretty cool. tommy from trainspotting didn't shoot any heroin, which is a drag, but the show was pretty good. we'll watch again next week. work sucked. truck (big truck) came really late and i let it stress me out more than i should have. came home and watched grey's anatomy with sarah and laughed a couple times. the show is about as whiny as it can be with humor tucked here and there. but there is a charm to it that makes me not mind watching.

friday - didn't eat all day and then had the best mexican dinner i've ever had in my life. got "the itis" (no one gets that unless you watch boondocks...oh well). then watched the highlight of the week. the office. oh. my. god. so funny. i am already halfway through my second viewing of the hour long premiere. i could waste your time and tell you every part that made me laugh out loud. i'll just hope that you watched it yourself and leave you with these three words. "support the rabid."

saturday - i must have been sleepwalking through yesterday, because for some reason, i have no idea what happened. i know alabama probably took care of business against a crappy florida st. team. and i am pretty sure that john parker wilson chose this week to play up to his limitless potential in front of a national tv audience. i know jesus and his florida teammates hosted auburn while i was at work. i hate that i missed it, but i am sure that jesus just added to his legend and set up the game of the year between undefeated lsu and undefeated florida. man, i love tebow. he can do no wrong. wait. what? what did you just say? auburn did what? don't fuck with me, man. don't. fuck. with me. brandon cox played how do you say? pretty good? wtf? alabama lost? dude, i am going to punch you in the face if you keep jerking my chain. john parker wilson throws like a girl??? well, shit, i knew that, but i figured that wouldn't matter against the most offensively challenged group of four-star recruits i've ever seen. jesus. h. christ.

update: yesterday sucked.

today - was scolded along with the rest of the congregation today for being apathetic towards signing up for the lunch next week hosted by the hispanic part of our congregation. granted, it was a pretty weak-ass scolding, but still. the way i look at it is that if you want to get some people upset enough to do something, you need to piss in their face. attack their manhood. don't sugarcoat it with words like "disappointed". if you would rather us have lunch with people we can't have a conversation with more than you would rather us get our ass in gear saving the daycare, just say it. we won't share a language, but if sharing "being human" is more important to the greater good than getting people fired up about a halloween carnival "for the community" that is not on halloween, just spit it out. lay it down, dude. "we are humc. next week, we eat here. today, you fucking sign up. if you do not, we will transfer your membership to clearbranch." and shit, dude, nobody wants that.

what's that? am i going to the lunch? i feel like i should, but that's probably because i was "charged" to like i was an eight year-old. we'll see.

etc. - kicked it with sarah, hannah and caroline.

te quiero, diary.

a hiro returns


no, not jesus.

at least, not yet. last i heard he's got his hands full with an in-mourning saban nation. speaking of that, do john parker wilson's fourth quarter drives overshadow the fact that he's just not that good? the zone asked the question last night, which quarterback would you rather have right now...wilson or brandon cox? the fact that i even thought about it for a second on top of how pitiful i think brandon cox is really answers my question for me, doesn't it? i mean, i tried. i really did. i tried to think of a jp led offense through next year, tossing it around to melvin ray and julio jones and not thinking about the future that could be in star jackson. but i just couldn't keep it up. of games i've watched most of this year, i would easily trade wilson for young qb's like stafford, usf's grothe, kodi burns, erik ainge and most definitely tebow. not brandon cox. but last night, i thought about it. damn. i don't want to be too much of a hater. i still think if bama can beat florida st. that they could pull off nine, maybe even ten, wins. but i have zero confidence in bama's quarterback unless he's in a situation so tense that it makes him forget that he's supposed to feel pressure. under those terms, after the last two weeks, i'll take him.

moving on, fall tv is back. it returned last night with a superb family guy. just funny as all hell. you could tell that the writers absolutely love star wars and all of their pokes were made with love. but it was great. i am already ready for the rerun. tonight, hiro, claire, the petrellis and the rest of the heroes return and kick the fall season off, proper-like. and thus, it's that time of year when sarah and i have to decide what's going to be appointment television and what's not. the list seems a little shorter in my head this year and considering that the baseball playoffs will start next week (without the braves), that's probably a good thing. going into the season, here's what looks to make the cut.

heroes
30 rock
the office
grey's anatomy...thursday will be the biggest couch night.
sunday night football ('til late season schedule starts to suck)
monday night football (see above note)
baseball playoffs
lost...come january
family guy

when time allows:

pti
around the horn
daily show
colbert

new shows we are going to try:

journeyman (in the dreaded studio 60 slot. this will be cancelled by mid-october. the idea for the show and the fact that the star was in trainspotting gives this one a leg up on other new shows.)
pushing daisies
bionic woman
cavemen...maybe. i don't know yet.

and that's it. sounds like a lot of tv. and it is. my name is earl and scrubs fell off the list last year due to lack of time. with two baby girls vying for attention during the evening, this list will likely be shortened as well.

let me know if i am missing out on a hidden gem or something else amazing. who knows. once some of the new shows start getting axed, i might have some time.

fear the community...

(part two?)

this.

this is what started it all. it was my fourth day and fourth post after entering the blog nation. it's crazy how far blog nation has come since then, almost two years ago. in october of 2005, blogspot was a blip on the radar. livejournal was still in. facebook had yet to sell out. now? now, if you aren't blogging, it seems like you are in the minority. although, that's not really true. in the sports world that i live half the time, though, blogs are everywhere. and it's incredible. having access to opinion all over the country, all over the world from fans of their own local teams and interests creates the most thorough spread of information "the fan" has ever seen. rather than depending on one local sports columnist and paper and the occasional story on sportscenter, you can have full access to almost any team, hell any subject (sports or otherwise) as quickly as google can pull it up. and that's pretty quick. but i digress.

the above post was the one that lit a fire under myself and others at my church because i dared to criticize the church for cancelling it's annual halloween event due to "lack of volunteers". it still irks me to this day. it irks me for all the wrong reasons. and it isn't any easier to swallow. the year before, huffman methodist, baptist and our lady of lourdes had unprecedented turnout to each of our events. we staged them on the same day. and morning after stories led us to feel like all people in the community that came to one carnival came to all three. and it was awesome. we ran out of candy. the church was packed. we championed it the next day in worship. and one year later, we let it scare us out of doing it again.

but that all changes this year. for whatever reason, the chris led staff has decided to put on the event again. and i think that is great! i think it is so great that i went to the organizational meeting monday night. i wanted to make sure that i backed up whatever criticism i had levied the last couple of years with just as much support this year. i wanted to make sure our sunday school class was represented (it was. tanya beat me there.). i wanted to volunteer the softball team for a booth. or to cook. or for whatever. i wanted to make sure that the folks there knew that i wanted to help.

and then the meeting started.

and i was reminded (again) of why it's taken me so long to work up the motivation to work with huffman again. the meeting was small. but everything that is right with huffman was represented. and unfortunately, everything that is wrong was there too. the 2004 carnival was brought up as both a good thing and a bad thing. too many people. not enough candy. not enough volunteers. (and this is bad why?) the decision had been made prior to the meeting to have our event on sunday, the 28th, which is fine i guess. it's just not halloween. the day that people usually dress up like someone else and go out looking for something to do. why? availability of volunteers. lack of set-up time. sunday was just more convenient. and all of that makes perfect sense to me. i get it. i really do. but it's still not on halloween. it's from 5-8 on sunday. if it was from 5-8 on on wednesday, we could encourage all of our daycare kids to go through the carnival before they went home. we would already have traffic in our parking lot right next to a sign that said HALLOWEEN CARNIVAL....HERE....TONIGHT....ON HALLOWEEN!!!. that alone would pique enough passer-by's interest to at least consider checking us out, right? also, a decision was made to have a dance, or monster mash, for the older youth that may come on the 28th. this did drastically alter the planned target age of 2-12 for the carnival, but what the hell, right? we are doing the carnival primarily inside, which makes sense again (what if it rains?), but again will knock the potential guest number down to a certain degree. and i guess that's what worries me the most. if we were going to do this...if we were going to try and come back from a two year absence, two years for the community to come to grips with the idea that we don't do a halloween carnival anymore, wouldn't we want to take intentional steps and intentional care to make sure every decision we made for the event put the community's interest ahead of our own? even if the final date and strategy meant some folks would have to get away from work an hour early...even if it meant we as a church and a staff were inconvenienced for one (extra) day out of the year, shouldn't we do that? are we doing it for "them"? or are we doing it for "us"?

and therein lies the question that huffman faces with every decision it now makes. for right or for wrong. for better or for worse. this is where we are. every decision that i, personally, make outside of myself and my family is uncomfortable to a point. i have to change things. refigure my schedule. hannah has to go to gymnastics and sarah is tied up? well, i want to watch mnf, but tonight, it'll have to wait up for me. kathy or heath want to schedule a vacation? well, it sucks that i'll have to work however many straight days, but that's just the way it goes. everyone deserves a vacation. church should work the same way. selfishly, it's going to be easier for us to make the safe choice. to decide on a date for something like the carnival that sounds better for us because the majority of our work force can be there, because we are already off on sunday. it's more accomodating. but what would make the bigger impact? what would make the bigger statement? what if, even with limited time and helpers, we could put the same product out on the day that is actually called halloween and not three days early? that(!!!) is what i wish we could strive for.

and maybe we will. one day.

all that said, i am very happy that we are doing the carnival again, and i am going to do my best moving forward to be as excited for the event and those that come on a sunday evening as those that might have been there on wednesday night. i might even dress up. and those that know me know how big that would be, right? i am still working on this whole spinning things positive idea. it's tough when it feels like i am diametrically opposed to almost every consensus the church seems to reach. but i am willing to listen to my own advice. i am willing to do things and be part of something that i believe in even if all the moving parts aren't placed exactly where i would put them.

if you aren't doing anything on sunday the 28th and would like to help, we could use you. if you read this and have kids and don't mind dressing them up twice or taking them out twice in four days, come see us.

the "halloween" carnival is back, baby!!!

"when jesus does cool shit, it’s called a miracle, but when tebow does cool shit it’s called hot-dogging. double standard. i consider jesus one of the biggest hot-doggers of all time. 'watch me walk on water because i’m the son of god.'" - commenter on every day should be saturday


yesterday was absolutely the perfect storm for me to enjoy a day of college football, even while being ravaged by a bitch of a cold. let's review...

the day began with brandon cox single-handedly ushering in the kodi burns era at auburn and i was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief. i know you are already sick of hearing about it, but my prediction back in my college preview that cox would crash and burn is one that i will relive for the duration of the season. enjoy!!! for brief moments this week, i reconsidered my hatred for cox. he's been through a lot. it's his last year. why hate him so? but, seriously, it only took a couple series for me to be reminded of just how awful the guy is. and i absolutely freaking love that the auburn "fans" in attendance yesterday fully endorsed my hate by welcoming his replacement with the loudest cheers of the entire game. just beautiful. so, welcome, kodi burns. i am happy to meet you and your era. i can now recommence with my support of auburn (my sigh of relief) in all games minus the iron bowl because my hostility towards one brandon cox will no longer get in the way. before we get off this game, though, classy move by you, miss. st., to celebrate with your coach by giving him a gatorade bath after defeating a 1-2 team. if the starkville bulldogs ever beat someone that's actually good, someone could very well die.

the day continued with my way-too-young-for-me man crush, tim tebow, owning tennessee. i mean, owning. it was really kind of funny listening to the announcers call the game yesterday. you could tell that they were trying very hard to not overpraise the man-child, but every time they would temper a comment, tebow would do something ridiculous. it was awesome. i know this isn't the best tennessee team (which bodes well for alabama). and i know that lsu stands in the way. and i know that some team is going to have to knock off usc. same for oklahoma. but if florida and west virginia could somehow play for the national championship, it would be the single, most exciting college football game in the history of the world. i am sure of it.

then came the alabama game. the first ten minutes just went too good, didn't they? there was just too much time left for arkansas to make a run, pun intended, and make a run they did. "humanity advanced" was every bit the best player on the field and it was a pity cramps kept him from making alabama's defense from looking even more pathetic than he did. john parker wilson? he and his flutterballs are going to be the death of me. i told heath that it was the ugliest 350 yard game i could ever remember watching. he went from being pretty good. to bad. to vandy game bad. to brandon cox bad. and then a funny thing happened. he went all clutch on us and led the drive that will define his and matt caddell's career (at least for one week). and for one week, i will try and forget about two years from now and visions of star jackson and savor the game that was as accurately defined as a rollercoaster ride as a game could be.

the nightcap was almost as fun and every bit as dramatic as the bama game. kentucky ousted jesus brohm's team as pretenders (not jesus...he, of course, was awesome.) and andre woodson went ahead and made it official that he would be a first round draft pick. good job, kentucky. and good for you.

so, there you have it. had the head cold not got in the way, i would have had the sweetest night of rest that i've had in sometime. even while tossing and turning, though, i couldn't resist looking forward to a week of sports-talk that will go back and forth between bama's "gutsy" bounceback win and auburn having lost their season to a true freshman's learning curve.

should be fun.

calling all racists
(sanctification is tough)


having given it some thought recently, i think i have a little better understanding of the quote that was attributed to dave chappelle after he walked away from his uber-popular comedy central show. the quote in question was thrown around in several articles documenting the comedian calling it quits. in so many words, chappelle said that a white member of his live, studio audience "laughed too hard" at a joke that he, himself, wrote. a switch in his head was flipped for whatever reason, and he decided that it wasn't worth the toil and the trouble to continue putting on the show.

my enlightenment to the notion of a white guy "laughing too hard" being too heavy a burden for a black comedian to carry has arrived in the last couple weeks. during that time, i've been watching season one of the boondocks. based on his comic strip of the same name, the boondocks is an animated tv show created by aaron mcgruder. in it we see the world of two black brothers, 10 year-old huey and 8 year-old riley, that live with their granddad who has moved them into an upper-class white neighborhood. racial tension, stereotypes and hijinks ensue, naturally. we see the action through the eyes of huey, a left-leaning, intellectual idealist (remember, he's ten) that lives in a world (and culture) that has not evolved in a way that he is proud of. although accepting and proud of his roots, he hangs his head in shame as he sees "his people" perpetuate conventions and patterns that "the white man" can use to keep "them" down. along the way of the show, the word "nigga" is thrown around like south park threw around "shit" in their infamous exercise in desensitization. hearing the "n" word thrown around like it carries no more weight than any other word is freeing, funny and kind of scary all at the same time. and letting the humor of this and other images like a pimp named slickback ("you've got to say the whole thing, like 'a tribe called quest'!!!") rise to my surface has called my inner racist into question. i enjoy the show. and i laugh out loud a couple times during every episode. but am i laughing at, as i think chappelle worried, "the stupid, funny black people" or am i taking the show and it's banter for what i believe the creator intends? that being a social commentary bent on breaking down stereotypes through levity and affecting positive change. to be honest with you, i really don't know.

nature has not born me with racist leanings, but i am sure my nurture has contributed to some degree. both of my grandfathers fell into the category of "blacks are pretty worthless". my grandmothers were and are more grown up about it. i've had several step-fathers that could take or leave black folks as fellow human beings. it just depended on their (the step-fathers) mood and what they (the black people) could do for them. and living in the south, i've run into more than my share of out and out rednecks that wished for blacks to somehow find their way off this island we call the united states. i have hoped that, as i've grown up, i have learned from all of the ignorance around me and spun those negatives into positives within the make-up of who i am today. but i will admit here, there are days in the store in the middle of huffman when something is stolen or a bad attitude is in full display that i can feel some primal part of me refusing to believe anything more than the act or the action is or was because "they are black." ludicrous and, again, ignorant considering that, when i remove myself from the heated situation and biased setting (considering 90 percent of our customers are non-white), i know "white" collar crime does far more damage to this country than petty crime and bad attitude that is more a reflection on life itself being shitty and having nothing to do with white and black.

i worry about this question, this "am i a racist?" question currently because humc is staging a deliberate march toward re-inviting the "community" back into our walls. and by community, i mean, of course, non-white people. i worry because i don't know if we are approaching the goal in the right way. i worry if we know what the goal truly is. if it's to create a loving and attractive atmosphere to all people of all races regardless of color, then sign me up. but if it's to obtain "non-whites" as if they were an objective because they live around the church and we are worried about our ever-shortening lifespan, then we will fail. are we, as a very white church, even comfortable enough to own our inner racists, break down the misinformed formulas in our heads and create the colorblind atmosphere that jesus has always intended? to that question, too, i answer "i don't know."

obviously, i don't want to be a white guy that "laughs too hard" at dave chappelle, the boondocks or anyone whose fortunes are not as blessed as mine. and on most days, i don't think i am. god help me on the days i am not so sure.

the only nfl preview that matters
(to me)


"the nfl is our national pastime. it is our church. it is cocaine, and we are darryl strawberry."

what a great, great line courtesy of mjd in this morning's debriefing. great, because it is so true. in the land of sports, one league reigns supreme and that league is the nfl. if you are a sports fan and you watch espn, you are well aware of this. and don't get me wrong. i love, even luff, college football. i love that alabama destroyed western carolina high. i love that michigan lost. i love that brandon cox started earlier in the season than i thought at making me look like a prophet. i love the sec. i can't wait 'til saturday when i will be traveling with the tide to their true season-opener against vandy. i love that i'll be back home in time to see the auburn game, notre dame starting a true freshman at quarterback and the lsu/va. tech game. i love all of that and will love every bit of the college football season. but i am with mjd. the nfl is the straw that will stir my drink beginning tomorrow night and ending with a super bowl party at my or one of my friends' house. this is true for all sorts of reasons, and many of those reasons include my fantasy team, but i won't bore you any more with that. i'll just say that i pulled off a trade, ended up with peyton (pictured above) and all is well with my world. i cannot wait to get home tomorrow night to watch the colts and the reggie bush's. tomorrow will be a good day.

there are times when i feel alone, though, with my nfl love. i have my fantasy league, and all of the guys in the league are big enough sports guys that we will have fun competing, but if we were to all get together, it would be alabama or college football that would rule the conversation. deep down, i think kiker is more excited about his college fantasy team than his nfl one. andy's more of a college football guy. i am pulling heath over to the dark side i think, but it's going to be a slow process. being alone, though, is ok. that just means i can enjoy the fruits of my hours in front of the tv or the computer with myself. i can deal with that. hell, i'll probably enjoy it more that way than talking nfl with a friend kind enough to humor me and just throws out a michael vick reference here or there to make me feel like he's paying attention.

off the nfl page for a second, things at home are going pretty well too. my attitude is improving a little bit each passing day. hannah was finally ruled shigella-free and went back to kindergarten this morning. it was only three hours, but it was three hours that were very stress-less and that proved easy to get a workout in. sarah is still feeling pretty good about her and caroline's nursing habits. and caroline, herself, is a very calm baby (knock on wood). she sleeps (sometimes loudly)a lot. is happy to eat when she's awake. takes a pacifier well. most of the time, she has a very calming presence. when she's fussing, hannah has taken to mocking her, which is really funny until she passes "that point" that she becomes annoying. caroline and the family made it out to her first postpartum softball game last night. it was a doozy of a game against a really good team and daddy got the barry bonds treatment and was walked with the game on the line. i was pissed, but it was kind of cool too that i had performed well enough during the game for them to fear me. i like that.

church...wow. church has kind of become an afterthought, i guess naturally, the last few weeks. we are talking about going to the wednesday night kickoff tonight, which could be ok. i am not excited about it, but we probably should try and include that in our new routine. i tell you what. i've said this out loud to a couple folks, but not being on a church staff means that waiting on "something to happen" feels like waiting for paint to dry. things are moving dreadfully slowly, thus far, as it concerns my finding a new place other than sunday school to be involved. some of this may be on my end. after coming away from my and julie's conversation somewhat uninspired, i think my motivation has taken a hit. i'll have to make intentional efforts to do something about that moving toward the end of the year. i'll keep you posted.

moving away from the diary portion of the post, i'll end this "preview" the same way i ended the college one. with a few tidbits of sarcasm:

- who will win the super bowl this year? i hope the colts, but really, who cares? i am fairly sure that most of my readers don't give a shit about the nfl, but dammit, we will still use the super bowl as an excuse to hang out and die slowly with some kiker burgers, am i right andy? kiker?

- will michael vick ever play in the nfl again? too soon for that call. if the judge surprises everyone and only gives mike a year in the slammer, then maybe. if it's more than two seasons, then the next time i see mike vick in person again may be running around the bjcc in a steeldogs uni.

- is tiki barber a dick? for those of you that don't know, tiki barber is a retired running back, formerly of the new york giants, that retired with gas left in the tank. since retiring, he has ripped his old quarterback, eli manning (pictured above), called out his coach and ripped his teammates some more. for as much i throw the word around here, if you ever wanted definition 1a of "douchebag", this is it.

- are the falcons still my favorite team? great question and i'll be honest. i think the answer is no. not this year. and i hate that. it just goes to solidify my own realization that i am, in fact, a fairweather fan. and the falcons will be in my top two, but they will fall behind peyton and the colts this year. r.i.p., falcons, until jesus brohm comes next year to raise you from the dead.

- will you stop talking about sports anytime soon? this one's for my brother, brian, who is now peeking at the site. and the short answer is no, but all my posts, sports entries included, will always include something for everyone i hope.

enjoy the weekend. remember the name, star jackson. brandon cox for president. war saban.