the end of the world
(part ten)
((incalculable effects))
"she said she just turned six. she's got some good jokes for a kid. she's working hard to avoid a woman bleeding from her teeth...i know that sinking feeling all too fucking well. shame, frustration setting it. confusion that eats us inside out...i don't know what's wrong with me. i don't know why she can't wake up...her life goes on despite the fact her mom lies fucked up on the cement."
stephen colbert has taken some grief from people that take themselves way too seriously over the past few days since his testimony before congress on behalf of immigrant workers last friday, sept. 24th. the serious people seemed to think that the comedian coming before congress in character as the ultra-conservative champion of "truthiness" made a mockery out of the very real issue of immigrant workers' lack of rights and drew more attention to himself than those he was supposed to be lobbying on behalf of.
in some dark, dark world, in a universe removed from reality far, far away, i suppose i can see their point. what does this comedian know about immigrant workers? his entire shtick was borne out of one whole day of real labor. but in that one day lies the sad truth that politicians are not able to own. colbert's one day was one more day than the vast majority of those that are up in arms for or against more rights for immigrant workers will ever put into the "fields" of america.
count me in that vast majority. i can't tell you how much i never want to plant something that i would eventually eat. hell, i can hardly stand the thought of cooking something that someone else has harvested for me. i am the opposite of do it yourself in most instances. i take advantage of specialists, regardless of industry, found in the yellow pages any and every time i or sarah can't figure out how to stop water from dripping out of the faucet or a river running out of our air conditioning closet or how to make our grass as lovely looking as the neighbor's (a guy i have seen on his belly in his yard pulling weeds. are you kidding me? if you ever see me belly-down in my yard, i've either had a stroke or i lost a quarter down a hornets' nest and am trying to dig it out. either way, call 911). that's just me. call me spoiled. call me whatever. i am just playing with the cards that i've been dealt in the best way i know how.
same as immigrant workers. same as stephen colbert. same as the little girl in the propaghandi song that inspired these thoughts today. the little girl doesn't remind me of me. my mom has found problems as she's gotten older, but rarely did she exhibit any behavior (other than her choice in dudes) at home when i was a kid that i felt like i had to run away from. i and my brother were sheltered for a long time from the financial difficulties that come with being a single mom. we were sheltered from the early signs of the depressive state that has captured and imprisoned her for many, many years now. we were sheltered for a long time from her poor choice in dudes. she did what she could, playing with the cards she had been dealt.
not everyone in this world is as lucky as i was and am. this world is a filthy, filthy place. if we choose to see it, we can see it online and on our televisions and in our newspapers and magazines. people are mistreated. children are born into situations that will haunt and pervert every day of their life, no matter how strong they are.
and yet, we show so little patience. we don't want to see what comes next. we flip the channel. we expect things to happen as fast as we want them to. stimulate me now. satisfy me now. 30 weeks? how much longer is it going to take to make this worthwhile for me?
colbert, after hearing the last question that would be posed to him during his testimony, stepped out of his made-for-tv character and didn't quote scripture as much as he identified where he fit into the issue by citing the context of matthew 25:40, the "least of these..." passage. naturally, rather than listening to his sentiment, his detractors poked holes in his means. "he says bad words". "he isn't really a practicing catholic. how could he be? he's friends with jon stewart." "this is the best that congress can do? a comedian?"
it's this type of mentality that is destroying our human connections. rather than finding the common-ness between humans and working for the betterment of us all, we nitpick from our comfort(zone)able chairs.
raise your hand if you hate immigrant workers as people?
...
raise your hand if you think illicit drug use is a good thing?
...
raise your hand if you like the state of birmingham's city schools?
...
raise your hand if you like abandoned children?
...
raise your hand if you think you are better than any one person on the face of the planet?
...
confusing the issue(s) with the means by which the issue is raised or argued is a time-honored tradition.
doesn't make it right.
"i know that sinking feeling all too fucking well." and yet, our lives go on despite the fact, our common sense lies fucked up on the cement.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
being julio heyward
(part ten)
((fare thee well, bobby cox))
152 games.
that's how long the 2010 version of the atlanta braves were in the mix for the division. all things being equal, had you offered me that number before the season opened along with the deal that the club would still hold the slimmest of leads in the race for the wild card with 10 games to play, i would have jumped at it. given that deal and that deal alone, this is how i would have told you it happened.
jason heyward was worth the hype.
he has been. before he hurt his thumb in the second month of the season, he was going to run away with the nl rookie of the year trophy. then he hurt himself with one of his always cringe-inducing headfirst slides. cringe-inducing not because it looks bad. quite the contrary, it looks elegant and graceful, just like everything he does on the baseball field. cringe-inducing because there are ten digits that are exposed for all sorts of bad things to happen to them when sliding head-first into a base, all ten of the utmost importance if you are going to swing a bat and make contact with a baseball. he hurt his thumb. bobby cox kept trotting him out, because "i love seeing the kid play". his numbers dropped. he finally went on the dl and after cox's incompetence cost him STARTING in the all-start game as a rookie, (ugh) he came back. he got healthy. his average jumped 50 points, and he regained his form from april and early may. then chipper got hurt. braves nation (including myself) cast their lonely eyes to the twenty year old to lead them. on certain days, he has. he still gets on base a ton. but, to be as patient as he is, throw a breaking ball to him with two strikes that starts at his knees and ends up in the dirt, he is going to strike out 9 times out of 10. he's been good. probably rookie of the year good. but he hasn't been able to carry the team by himself.
hudson, lowe, jurrjens, hanson and kawakami would be the best starting five in the national league.
they'd have to be, right? the braves were never going to score a ton of runs. not like the phillies. and yet, only hudson has been really good this year. lowe is what we thought he was. jurrjens has been radically inconsistent. hanson should have 15 wins, but, when bad, he has been really bad. kawakami was the worst starting pitcher the braves have trotted out for more than 10 starts in 20 years. people call him "kamikaze" for god's sake.
chipper stayed healthy.
he did for a while. and then, of course, he didn't. on a great, jeter-esque jump throw against the astros, chipper's old knees couldn't hold him, and he shredded one of them, lost for the season.
those would be have been my three factors necessary for the above deal to manifest into reality, but only one played out. so, what happened?
martin prado and omar infante happened. both all-stars, both hitting over .300, both integral to the braves offensive success when they've had it. they've both been miscast as leadoff hitters, but the braves were presented no other choice when nate mcclouth forgot how to play baseball.
mccann's been mccann. i love mccann.
johnny venters happened. he's finally hit a rookie wall, but, wow, for several months he was unhittable. same with billy wagner. those two have been off the chain.
with the exception of one month and half by troy glaus and one grand slam by derek lee, first base has been a disaster.
the escobar/gonzalez combo at short has been up and down.
heyward is the only constant in outfield. platoon's sometimes "work", but they never thrive. how could they? baseball is a game where you will "fail" 65-75 times out of a 100 at-bats anyway. combine that fact with not getting consistent plate appearances, and you have a platoon. the ole "if you have two quarterbacks, you don't really have one." philosophy can be applied to the braves outfield, minus heyward. if you have four or five outfielders, you don't really have two.
and then there is bobby cox. the "players manager". the winner of all those straight division titles and a world series to boot. the guy that gets thrown out of games a lot.
i admit to being a "what have you done for me lately" sports fan, and here is what i will remember of cox in his last season. not being quick enough to let heyward get healthy. and this week's phillies series.
charlie manuel placed so much importance on this series, he rearranged his rotation to make sure his 1, 2 and 3 starters would face the braves. in doing so, he announced this series makes our regular season a success or a disappointment.
did cox find a way for hudson to pitch last friday against the mets so that he could pitch today against the phillies? nope. could he have rearranged things to get lowe a start too? of course. but he didn't. so, the braves went to war in the two biggest games of their season with a rookie making his first major league start on monday and a rookie making his seventh (i think) start last night. both were seriously outclassed. the braves lost both. thanks, bobby.
and now, the wild card that cox has said over and over and over again that he despises is "our" braves carrot on the stick.
i love the wild card. it allows me a small glimmer of hope that the braves may still wiggle into the playoffs after conceding the division last night. i can't wait to hear cox backtrack over the next few days and give us soundbites like "we just want to be in the dance" and riff on previous wild card winners' success. it will be soaked in irony and it will be beautiful.
here's hoping the braves have a little something left in the tank...,
in spite of their manager.
(part ten)
((fare thee well, bobby cox))
152 games.
that's how long the 2010 version of the atlanta braves were in the mix for the division. all things being equal, had you offered me that number before the season opened along with the deal that the club would still hold the slimmest of leads in the race for the wild card with 10 games to play, i would have jumped at it. given that deal and that deal alone, this is how i would have told you it happened.
jason heyward was worth the hype.
he has been. before he hurt his thumb in the second month of the season, he was going to run away with the nl rookie of the year trophy. then he hurt himself with one of his always cringe-inducing headfirst slides. cringe-inducing not because it looks bad. quite the contrary, it looks elegant and graceful, just like everything he does on the baseball field. cringe-inducing because there are ten digits that are exposed for all sorts of bad things to happen to them when sliding head-first into a base, all ten of the utmost importance if you are going to swing a bat and make contact with a baseball. he hurt his thumb. bobby cox kept trotting him out, because "i love seeing the kid play". his numbers dropped. he finally went on the dl and after cox's incompetence cost him STARTING in the all-start game as a rookie, (ugh) he came back. he got healthy. his average jumped 50 points, and he regained his form from april and early may. then chipper got hurt. braves nation (including myself) cast their lonely eyes to the twenty year old to lead them. on certain days, he has. he still gets on base a ton. but, to be as patient as he is, throw a breaking ball to him with two strikes that starts at his knees and ends up in the dirt, he is going to strike out 9 times out of 10. he's been good. probably rookie of the year good. but he hasn't been able to carry the team by himself.
hudson, lowe, jurrjens, hanson and kawakami would be the best starting five in the national league.
they'd have to be, right? the braves were never going to score a ton of runs. not like the phillies. and yet, only hudson has been really good this year. lowe is what we thought he was. jurrjens has been radically inconsistent. hanson should have 15 wins, but, when bad, he has been really bad. kawakami was the worst starting pitcher the braves have trotted out for more than 10 starts in 20 years. people call him "kamikaze" for god's sake.
chipper stayed healthy.
he did for a while. and then, of course, he didn't. on a great, jeter-esque jump throw against the astros, chipper's old knees couldn't hold him, and he shredded one of them, lost for the season.
those would be have been my three factors necessary for the above deal to manifest into reality, but only one played out. so, what happened?
martin prado and omar infante happened. both all-stars, both hitting over .300, both integral to the braves offensive success when they've had it. they've both been miscast as leadoff hitters, but the braves were presented no other choice when nate mcclouth forgot how to play baseball.
mccann's been mccann. i love mccann.
johnny venters happened. he's finally hit a rookie wall, but, wow, for several months he was unhittable. same with billy wagner. those two have been off the chain.
with the exception of one month and half by troy glaus and one grand slam by derek lee, first base has been a disaster.
the escobar/gonzalez combo at short has been up and down.
heyward is the only constant in outfield. platoon's sometimes "work", but they never thrive. how could they? baseball is a game where you will "fail" 65-75 times out of a 100 at-bats anyway. combine that fact with not getting consistent plate appearances, and you have a platoon. the ole "if you have two quarterbacks, you don't really have one." philosophy can be applied to the braves outfield, minus heyward. if you have four or five outfielders, you don't really have two.
and then there is bobby cox. the "players manager". the winner of all those straight division titles and a world series to boot. the guy that gets thrown out of games a lot.
i admit to being a "what have you done for me lately" sports fan, and here is what i will remember of cox in his last season. not being quick enough to let heyward get healthy. and this week's phillies series.
charlie manuel placed so much importance on this series, he rearranged his rotation to make sure his 1, 2 and 3 starters would face the braves. in doing so, he announced this series makes our regular season a success or a disappointment.
did cox find a way for hudson to pitch last friday against the mets so that he could pitch today against the phillies? nope. could he have rearranged things to get lowe a start too? of course. but he didn't. so, the braves went to war in the two biggest games of their season with a rookie making his first major league start on monday and a rookie making his seventh (i think) start last night. both were seriously outclassed. the braves lost both. thanks, bobby.
and now, the wild card that cox has said over and over and over again that he despises is "our" braves carrot on the stick.
i love the wild card. it allows me a small glimmer of hope that the braves may still wiggle into the playoffs after conceding the division last night. i can't wait to hear cox backtrack over the next few days and give us soundbites like "we just want to be in the dance" and riff on previous wild card winners' success. it will be soaked in irony and it will be beautiful.
here's hoping the braves have a little something left in the tank...,
in spite of their manager.
Monday, September 20, 2010
classic HACAM
(part one)
given my perception of the scope of blog-gate, 2.0, i've been thinking about this post a lot over the last few days. not that it justifies anything, but i remember it like it was yesterday, and the sentiment of it holds true to me just like it did almost three years ago.
from january 8, 2008...
----------------------------------------------------
HOLY FUCK!!!
(it's a gun!)
((part two))
(clears throat) would all persons at this meeting whose foreheads have been pressed into with the business end of an ak-47 assault rifle please come forward? ...
anyone...
anyone?
it's not that i have been dodging the "should i cuss or not" question since i brought it up a couple weeks ago. to be honest, i have been waiting for something to happen to me that would allow my ridiculous argument of "why i should" to be placed in it's proper context.
sunday night, something happened.
so, if you would kindly humor me, good and righteous people of robinson springs united methodist church (just the douche-y ones that wrote their pastor on christmas day and told them that he shouldn't link his blog to one that contains dirty words...not the actual good and honest and human ones), please enlighten me to the "holier" words that you would have spoken aloud or in your heart if a crazy-ass pet store robber (one that was in your store only two weeks ago) places a military-issue assault rifle to your head and you were unsure of his intent to use it. in the same moment, you were unsure if you had seen your wife, your two daughters, your friends, your family that may or may not like you, your employees or any other person that shares this earth with you for the last time. what words would you have chosen to emote in this "somewhat unpleasant" situation? "fiddlesticks!"? "oh, poop!"? "dadblammit!"? "ah, pickles!"? something else? you tell me. i would love to be ingrained with something other than the words that i chose after the situation resolved itself. those words were "fuck me!", and "shit." among others. i called the criminals "cocksuckers." i called their mothers worse. i called their friends and anyone that enjoyed their company much, much worse (they, you see are part of the problem. the mother may have disowned the sons long ago, hence i let her off the hook a little bit.) in the moments that i realized that my life was spared for the second time in just over three months, in the moments that i was grateful that my assistant manager's life was spared for the second time in two weeks (!!!), i could not resist the temptation to projectile vomit towards the heavens words that made me feel better about my current situation. and so i did. loudly and with defiance.
not defiant towards god, mind you. i truly believe that god couldn't give a shit (gasp!!!) about the words that come out of my mouth minus if those words might cause one of my brothers or sisters "to stumble". do i admit that my potty-mouth may have affected someone, even some young one, in a negative way more than once? absolutely, i do. and that's something i am working on. but i'll get back to this in a minute. not defiant towards god, mind you, but defiant with the small hope that the two guys running away from my store could hear my cries of rage and with the small hope that they understood that they, themselves, would need god's assistance to rip me off their ass if we ever happened upon each other at a time they were not carrying a gun.
i grew up in homes where the "cuss" words i use today were used as perfectly acceptable nouns, adjectives and adverbs. not that i am trying to justify anything. i am just being forthright. i inherited my blue tongue quite honestly. you, whoever you are, may not have grown up in such a home. your home might have replaced my words with other words that you said when you were so pissed off that you wanted to throw your cat at a wall. but, instead of hurting one of god's creatures, you chose to yell at the top of your lungs, "PINEAPPLE CHERRYCAKES!!!" does that really make your choice of words any less offensive? really? if you use any combination of letters and guttural sounds to express your displeasure, even if they don't rhyme with "shit" or "piss", haven't you still lost control in some way? hmm....
i lose control in small ways all the time, in bigger ways sometimes and in big, nasty ways hardly ever. but in all three instances, i usually use some combination of these. if you don't? awesome. if you do? awesome. if it bothers you to see them here? turn me off. i am ok with that. if i offend off everyone that ever happens across this page, that is fine. i hope you enjoy your time here, but if not, it's not for you. turn me off.
i am a bruised, beaten-down, imperfect and, at times, very lonely man. this is my journey. this is part of my life, living for my god and my family, living for you to see. sometimes, i get mad. sometimes, i cuss. sometimes, i have good reason. sometimes, i do not. sometimes, i care. sometimes, i care not.
sanctification is tough for me. i bet it is for you too. i wish you well on your journey. and i wish you less well today, you ignorant pieces of shit that scared the piss out of me and my employees again sunday night, than i will tomorrow. that's how it works. each day you heal. each day you move forward. some days, bricks hit your ass in the face and knock you backward.
(cue allen iverson impression) words??? words??? we gonna talk about words??? you gonna question my heart in the game, man???? or you wanna talk about words???
question my words, you may. question my heart, you may not.
i will prove you wrong.
(part one)
given my perception of the scope of blog-gate, 2.0, i've been thinking about this post a lot over the last few days. not that it justifies anything, but i remember it like it was yesterday, and the sentiment of it holds true to me just like it did almost three years ago.
from january 8, 2008...
----------------------------------------------------
HOLY FUCK!!!
(it's a gun!)
((part two))
(clears throat) would all persons at this meeting whose foreheads have been pressed into with the business end of an ak-47 assault rifle please come forward? ...
anyone...
anyone?
it's not that i have been dodging the "should i cuss or not" question since i brought it up a couple weeks ago. to be honest, i have been waiting for something to happen to me that would allow my ridiculous argument of "why i should" to be placed in it's proper context.
sunday night, something happened.
so, if you would kindly humor me, good and righteous people of robinson springs united methodist church (just the douche-y ones that wrote their pastor on christmas day and told them that he shouldn't link his blog to one that contains dirty words...not the actual good and honest and human ones), please enlighten me to the "holier" words that you would have spoken aloud or in your heart if a crazy-ass pet store robber (one that was in your store only two weeks ago) places a military-issue assault rifle to your head and you were unsure of his intent to use it. in the same moment, you were unsure if you had seen your wife, your two daughters, your friends, your family that may or may not like you, your employees or any other person that shares this earth with you for the last time. what words would you have chosen to emote in this "somewhat unpleasant" situation? "fiddlesticks!"? "oh, poop!"? "dadblammit!"? "ah, pickles!"? something else? you tell me. i would love to be ingrained with something other than the words that i chose after the situation resolved itself. those words were "fuck me!", and "shit." among others. i called the criminals "cocksuckers." i called their mothers worse. i called their friends and anyone that enjoyed their company much, much worse (they, you see are part of the problem. the mother may have disowned the sons long ago, hence i let her off the hook a little bit.) in the moments that i realized that my life was spared for the second time in just over three months, in the moments that i was grateful that my assistant manager's life was spared for the second time in two weeks (!!!), i could not resist the temptation to projectile vomit towards the heavens words that made me feel better about my current situation. and so i did. loudly and with defiance.
not defiant towards god, mind you. i truly believe that god couldn't give a shit (gasp!!!) about the words that come out of my mouth minus if those words might cause one of my brothers or sisters "to stumble". do i admit that my potty-mouth may have affected someone, even some young one, in a negative way more than once? absolutely, i do. and that's something i am working on. but i'll get back to this in a minute. not defiant towards god, mind you, but defiant with the small hope that the two guys running away from my store could hear my cries of rage and with the small hope that they understood that they, themselves, would need god's assistance to rip me off their ass if we ever happened upon each other at a time they were not carrying a gun.
i grew up in homes where the "cuss" words i use today were used as perfectly acceptable nouns, adjectives and adverbs. not that i am trying to justify anything. i am just being forthright. i inherited my blue tongue quite honestly. you, whoever you are, may not have grown up in such a home. your home might have replaced my words with other words that you said when you were so pissed off that you wanted to throw your cat at a wall. but, instead of hurting one of god's creatures, you chose to yell at the top of your lungs, "PINEAPPLE CHERRYCAKES!!!" does that really make your choice of words any less offensive? really? if you use any combination of letters and guttural sounds to express your displeasure, even if they don't rhyme with "shit" or "piss", haven't you still lost control in some way? hmm....
i lose control in small ways all the time, in bigger ways sometimes and in big, nasty ways hardly ever. but in all three instances, i usually use some combination of these. if you don't? awesome. if you do? awesome. if it bothers you to see them here? turn me off. i am ok with that. if i offend off everyone that ever happens across this page, that is fine. i hope you enjoy your time here, but if not, it's not for you. turn me off.
i am a bruised, beaten-down, imperfect and, at times, very lonely man. this is my journey. this is part of my life, living for my god and my family, living for you to see. sometimes, i get mad. sometimes, i cuss. sometimes, i have good reason. sometimes, i do not. sometimes, i care. sometimes, i care not.
sanctification is tough for me. i bet it is for you too. i wish you well on your journey. and i wish you less well today, you ignorant pieces of shit that scared the piss out of me and my employees again sunday night, than i will tomorrow. that's how it works. each day you heal. each day you move forward. some days, bricks hit your ass in the face and knock you backward.
(cue allen iverson impression) words??? words??? we gonna talk about words??? you gonna question my heart in the game, man???? or you wanna talk about words???
question my words, you may. question my heart, you may not.
i will prove you wrong.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
before "julio" heyward ascended to julio status and became the bottom half of my julio/huddy/"julio" oreo cookie sandwich of manlove, there was another.
his name was michael vick.
there are very, very few true forces of nature when it comes to athletes (let's stick with football). there are good athletes that overachieve to become stars (emmit smith, jerry rice, every white professional athlete, especially wes welker, et. al). there are really good athletes that become superstars because they combine a "head and shoulders above the rest" gift with good work ethic to obviously separate themselves from the field (lawrence taylor, barry sanders, randy moss, et al.).
then there are the force of nature types. talents that are so incredibly gifted, athletically, that, when on the field, it hardly looks like they are trying. bo jackson, deion sanders, ...michael vick.
before he went and started electrocuting dogs, there was no athlete on the planet that was any more must-see television than my michael. at his peak, his arm was as strong as i've ever seen. he was the fastest guy in the league, probably by a couple steps. he had quicks and jumpstops and full-speed-from-the-jump like barry sanders, but with all of those attributes he could get one gear higher than my favorite running back ever. It didn't matter who the falcons were playing. i wanted to watch.
like barry bonds or usain bolt or lebron, if you blinked, you truly had the potential to miss the greatest thing to ever happen in an athletic arena every time he took a snap.
and then he got caught waterboarding dogs. i've come to terms with that disappointment. sure, i hate it for the dogs and everything, but, back then, the selfish part of me was just pissed that i wouldn't get to see vick play for quite some time.
for two years, he either sat in prison or a halfway house serving his time for condoning and bankrolling his disgusting dog-fighting ring. Last year, the eagles took a flyer on him, but he was the third string guy and only came in on gimmick-y, wildcat plays.
this year, he would serve as back-up to the quarterback that the eagles handed their franchise to, kevin kolb. week one, kolb got his bell rung and is now having to sit out this sunday.
week two, vick returns. in the action that he saw last week against the packers, he was every bit his old self. Running for 100 yards and a td. Passing for 175 and couple scores. pulling away from helpless defenders as they chased him around the field. week two, vick starts against the lions. as soon as word hit that he would start, i ran to my fantasy league, acquired vick, benched tom brady (who went nuts and led me to victory last week) and plugged my michael into my starting line-up for old time's sake.
brady will probably go nuts again, but I don't care. if kolb can remember his name next week, my michael will be back on the sidelines. for one day, though, this force of nature will have the opportunity to make people remember who michael fucking vick was before he was best known as that nfl quarterback that got caught fighting dogs.
michael vick, i have missed you. you go get 'em.
Friday, September 17, 2010
hannah and caroline and me
(part thirty-nine)
((a mommy scorned...))
editor's note: so, are you tired of coming back and checking to see if any comments have been added to "a penny..." that might add fuel to your fire??? welp, here's the supply to the ever-increasing demand, only...it's not from me this time. it's from...someone else.
that's right.
after years of negotiations, the wife has finally come down on her appearance fee. please keep in mind that she totally hates me, too, so the venom that she is shooting in my direction should be taken for what it's worth. two, count it, TWO grains of salt.
without further ado, i present for the first time on HACAM, mommy o'kelley.
-------------------------------------------------
Now read this!!!
Kevin has asked me to blog on at least a dozen occasions. Really, I’ve been holding out to do so about topics that I can’t get out of my head, like how I don’t feel for a moment that gay marriage is a threat to my marriage or how I really hate that there are people in jail or prison at all or many other topics that move my soul and mind.
But, it’s come to this. I have to be honest. Our church family has so much potential and does so many things for its members and community. But, in the 10 years I have been coming to this church, this church family has hurt me the most of any group or individual I have ever encountered in my life. I have experienced a taste of what it must be like to be married to a politician or a coach or a minister. Apparently being vocal and being a leader invites others to say horrible things about you. Apparently it is an open invitation to vilify every action and misperceive every comment. It justifies others in making requests that you change your behavior or stop speaking your mind or just go away.
The “concerns” and opinions that make their way back to me (and I am no idiot- what I hear is only the a sample of what is actually said) and my family and my friends are usually comical in some way. My initial response is, “seriously? THAT was offensive? I thought that was the mildest of what could be bothersome.” And usually I’m amused. However, as drama and comments mount, it becomes poisonous. Some things hurt Kevin. Some things hurt me. Some things hurt our friends. But overall it is the most sickening feeling I’ve ever had.
I think I can imagine some of the asides in these “have you heard about Kevin’s blog?” conversations:
“and what about his sweet wife?”
“I feel sorry for her”
“that language! Does he use that at home?”
“I heard he beats her up. I’m sure he does.”
“I heard he hates girls. His poor daughters.”
Or maybe it’s more like:
“she’s as bad as he is.”
“she tries to make points in meetings, too”
“I heard her say a bad word once, and one time she didn’t show patience when her 3-year-old was screaming and throwing herself in the floor in the gym.”
“she lets her child sit on the stage during dinner.”
GASP!
Honestly, given my experience with the reactions to Kevin’s blog, there is no way to predict or know what other people might be saying. It’s obtuse. And frankly, I’m too tired to even think about it anymore. I get that Kevin’s blog can be offensive. I’m pretty sure he has said that before. Having had my share of arguments with my husband, he can be pretty difficult to argue with and can be infuriating. He always knows he’s right. I usually know he’s wrong. We usually reach some sort of consensus. Whatareyagonnado?
Let’s just be clear about something. If any one of the people talking behind his and our backs or any of your backs (now or at any time in the last few years) were to publish their comments and thoughts in an online forum, would you be so quick to judge those comments? I would hope so but I am fairly certain that it wouldn’t. After all, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. And the past behavior in these situations really sucks.
I know that many of the people talking about Kevin’s blog have never actually read Kevin’s blog, and thus, this edition from me is somewhat wasted on the innocent. However, I can only hope that word can travel as fast that I feel like I am in an abusive relationship with members of my church as it did that Kevin looks at the internet on his cell phone during church. For the love…
During the sermon or announcements or hymns or anthem or any part of worship, how many of you can deny that you daydream? Write notes to one another on the bulletin? Make your Sunday to-do list? Look around and think about the choir’s hairdos? Wonder if we’ll get out of church in time to make it to Lee Garden before the crowd? Fall asleep? Would admission of these very human behaviors catch as much flack if you posted it on your blog or facebook? If you noted this in person or online, would word travel so fast? You all know where he sits, right? He’s not hiding it from anyone.
What really is at issue here? Is it the action/words or is it just that you are tired of Kevin O’Kelley?
It’s starting to feel a lot like the latter. We’ve seen this all before. The last time a group of church members turned on one of its own we lost a family and the “young” people who were associated with it. Actually, there are those of us whom that has happened to who haven’t left, too. Let it be known that Kevin O’Kelley does not stand alone. He has a wife and two young children. There might even be more spawn of Kevin one day (God help us all!). He has a Sunday school class (who he is on hiatus from) who loves him and looks forward to seeing him on Wednesdays and Sundays and sometimes other days of the week. He has created a Limbo atmosphere that is the biggest “attraction” we’ve had in years. But you probably wouldn’t like what any of those folks have to say either. I can almost guarantee it, because it’s out of your control. Maybe you want all of us to leave. That really would solve a lot of problems. At least until you (collective) turned on someone else…
Another aspect of this situation (and those in the past) that I feel the need to comment on is the sheer time and energy that is spent on Kevin’s blog and the loathing of said blog. Sure, my husband spends a LOT of time on the blog writing about LOTS of things he is passionate about. I can’t imagine there are those of you out there who spend near the energy discussing his man-love of (insert current sports star here) or his conversations with Kathy or his music reviews (although if you listened to some of the music he likes, you might think even less of him, if that’s possible- there are bad words in it).
What you don’t think about is that Kevin spends even more time thinking about the things that he writes about before they ever hit the page. And the marked difference in how Kevin spends this time and how many others who “can’t believe” Kevin’s blog choose to spend their time and energy is that I personally witness that Kevin spends equal time (maybe more) thinking about and participating in very important aspects of the daily life of the church. This week alone he has attended 2 meetings (both after leading soccer practice- Oh! The young minds he may taint there!) and has at least 2 meetings at the church in the coming week. He helped lead a Bible study. He coordinated a team that played over 2 hours of church softball on Monday. He will leave home without his family at 6:45 Sunday morning to prepare for Limbo. So, in coordination with all the time and energy that has been put into the blog, he’s matching that tit for tat in his daily actions at, for, and within the church and community. It’s like he never left the church staff. He’s just as busy as he was when he was the youth director there.
I’m in a similar boat in wanting to be involved in our church and community, except I don’t have the energy to fight you people anymore. I would prefer to put my thought and energy into my work and my activities in the church. I love my husband. He is not always right, but he is not always wrong. He rarely argues without good meaning and intentions behind it. If you took some time to see him as a human being, you might realize that too.
I swear my next post will be about something different.
Now, discuss amongst yourselves. Please print this installment along with the others you plan to print and distribute to your Sunday school class in your campaign to raise a rally against one of your own. I’ll put it in the Disciples’ Council meeting notes if you’d like. Just let me know.
(part thirty-nine)
((a mommy scorned...))
editor's note: so, are you tired of coming back and checking to see if any comments have been added to "a penny..." that might add fuel to your fire??? welp, here's the supply to the ever-increasing demand, only...it's not from me this time. it's from...someone else.
that's right.
after years of negotiations, the wife has finally come down on her appearance fee. please keep in mind that she totally hates me, too, so the venom that she is shooting in my direction should be taken for what it's worth. two, count it, TWO grains of salt.
without further ado, i present for the first time on HACAM, mommy o'kelley.
-------------------------------------------------
Now read this!!!
Kevin has asked me to blog on at least a dozen occasions. Really, I’ve been holding out to do so about topics that I can’t get out of my head, like how I don’t feel for a moment that gay marriage is a threat to my marriage or how I really hate that there are people in jail or prison at all or many other topics that move my soul and mind.
But, it’s come to this. I have to be honest. Our church family has so much potential and does so many things for its members and community. But, in the 10 years I have been coming to this church, this church family has hurt me the most of any group or individual I have ever encountered in my life. I have experienced a taste of what it must be like to be married to a politician or a coach or a minister. Apparently being vocal and being a leader invites others to say horrible things about you. Apparently it is an open invitation to vilify every action and misperceive every comment. It justifies others in making requests that you change your behavior or stop speaking your mind or just go away.
The “concerns” and opinions that make their way back to me (and I am no idiot- what I hear is only the a sample of what is actually said) and my family and my friends are usually comical in some way. My initial response is, “seriously? THAT was offensive? I thought that was the mildest of what could be bothersome.” And usually I’m amused. However, as drama and comments mount, it becomes poisonous. Some things hurt Kevin. Some things hurt me. Some things hurt our friends. But overall it is the most sickening feeling I’ve ever had.
I think I can imagine some of the asides in these “have you heard about Kevin’s blog?” conversations:
“and what about his sweet wife?”
“I feel sorry for her”
“that language! Does he use that at home?”
“I heard he beats her up. I’m sure he does.”
“I heard he hates girls. His poor daughters.”
Or maybe it’s more like:
“she’s as bad as he is.”
“she tries to make points in meetings, too”
“I heard her say a bad word once, and one time she didn’t show patience when her 3-year-old was screaming and throwing herself in the floor in the gym.”
“she lets her child sit on the stage during dinner.”
GASP!
Honestly, given my experience with the reactions to Kevin’s blog, there is no way to predict or know what other people might be saying. It’s obtuse. And frankly, I’m too tired to even think about it anymore. I get that Kevin’s blog can be offensive. I’m pretty sure he has said that before. Having had my share of arguments with my husband, he can be pretty difficult to argue with and can be infuriating. He always knows he’s right. I usually know he’s wrong. We usually reach some sort of consensus. Whatareyagonnado?
Let’s just be clear about something. If any one of the people talking behind his and our backs or any of your backs (now or at any time in the last few years) were to publish their comments and thoughts in an online forum, would you be so quick to judge those comments? I would hope so but I am fairly certain that it wouldn’t. After all, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. And the past behavior in these situations really sucks.
I know that many of the people talking about Kevin’s blog have never actually read Kevin’s blog, and thus, this edition from me is somewhat wasted on the innocent. However, I can only hope that word can travel as fast that I feel like I am in an abusive relationship with members of my church as it did that Kevin looks at the internet on his cell phone during church. For the love…
During the sermon or announcements or hymns or anthem or any part of worship, how many of you can deny that you daydream? Write notes to one another on the bulletin? Make your Sunday to-do list? Look around and think about the choir’s hairdos? Wonder if we’ll get out of church in time to make it to Lee Garden before the crowd? Fall asleep? Would admission of these very human behaviors catch as much flack if you posted it on your blog or facebook? If you noted this in person or online, would word travel so fast? You all know where he sits, right? He’s not hiding it from anyone.
What really is at issue here? Is it the action/words or is it just that you are tired of Kevin O’Kelley?
It’s starting to feel a lot like the latter. We’ve seen this all before. The last time a group of church members turned on one of its own we lost a family and the “young” people who were associated with it. Actually, there are those of us whom that has happened to who haven’t left, too. Let it be known that Kevin O’Kelley does not stand alone. He has a wife and two young children. There might even be more spawn of Kevin one day (God help us all!). He has a Sunday school class (who he is on hiatus from) who loves him and looks forward to seeing him on Wednesdays and Sundays and sometimes other days of the week. He has created a Limbo atmosphere that is the biggest “attraction” we’ve had in years. But you probably wouldn’t like what any of those folks have to say either. I can almost guarantee it, because it’s out of your control. Maybe you want all of us to leave. That really would solve a lot of problems. At least until you (collective) turned on someone else…
Another aspect of this situation (and those in the past) that I feel the need to comment on is the sheer time and energy that is spent on Kevin’s blog and the loathing of said blog. Sure, my husband spends a LOT of time on the blog writing about LOTS of things he is passionate about. I can’t imagine there are those of you out there who spend near the energy discussing his man-love of (insert current sports star here) or his conversations with Kathy or his music reviews (although if you listened to some of the music he likes, you might think even less of him, if that’s possible- there are bad words in it).
What you don’t think about is that Kevin spends even more time thinking about the things that he writes about before they ever hit the page. And the marked difference in how Kevin spends this time and how many others who “can’t believe” Kevin’s blog choose to spend their time and energy is that I personally witness that Kevin spends equal time (maybe more) thinking about and participating in very important aspects of the daily life of the church. This week alone he has attended 2 meetings (both after leading soccer practice- Oh! The young minds he may taint there!) and has at least 2 meetings at the church in the coming week. He helped lead a Bible study. He coordinated a team that played over 2 hours of church softball on Monday. He will leave home without his family at 6:45 Sunday morning to prepare for Limbo. So, in coordination with all the time and energy that has been put into the blog, he’s matching that tit for tat in his daily actions at, for, and within the church and community. It’s like he never left the church staff. He’s just as busy as he was when he was the youth director there.
I’m in a similar boat in wanting to be involved in our church and community, except I don’t have the energy to fight you people anymore. I would prefer to put my thought and energy into my work and my activities in the church. I love my husband. He is not always right, but he is not always wrong. He rarely argues without good meaning and intentions behind it. If you took some time to see him as a human being, you might realize that too.
I swear my next post will be about something different.
Now, discuss amongst yourselves. Please print this installment along with the others you plan to print and distribute to your Sunday school class in your campaign to raise a rally against one of your own. I’ll put it in the Disciples’ Council meeting notes if you’d like. Just let me know.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
a penny for your thoughts
(hannah and caroline and me)
((part thirty-eight))
torn.
it's what i've been for months.
torn.
torn between advocating on behalf of anonymous commenters and people that wish the pastor would send me to "christian delinquent" camp and members that wished djg had a magical influence over my hypocritical ass...torn between advocating on behalf of all the people thatthink know that i am the worst lay leader in the history of lay leaders and dropping this whole deal to sit in my pew, twiddling my thumbs with the all of you.
this morning, limbo started finding it's way to the crux of our situation. for 27 weeks, we've been pounding the pavement of what our function within the walls of huffman united methodist church was. did we have any function at all? was this church that was so generous to allow us one of the empty-ass sunday school classrooms to meet in representative of a system/structure/organism thatwe i believed in any more.
our talking point was an article whose author believed that 60 (!!!) percent of this country's population was culturally and relevantly removed from the way churches went about their business. the author (allan hirsch) lobbied his readers to embrace a new paradigm, one that encourages members of the outdated churches to take the spirit (not the letter. out of context scripture vomited from your mouth scares people. get it?) of the gospel of jesus christ to the 60 percent on their own turf in their own culture. it was an interesting angle and take. who knows where the dude came up with his numbers, but, in turn, it begged me to ask limbo this question(s).
is the "church" and church you are familiar with worth saving? is all of it's symbols and tradition and romance something worth working out the kinks, or is it time to say, "you know what? this shit isn't working. let's try something new."
a disclaimer should be entered here. no matter what you or we think of "church", there is one thing about this morning's conversation that is INDISPUTABLE. if not for huffman united methodist church and the people and our shared history and the resources and freedoms or sometimes lack thereof, there would be no limbo. it's just that simple.
on one side of the argument, you've got anonymous commenters and the like that are so blindly in love (a good thing, mind you) and loyal to their church that if some dickhead-sounding whippersnapper questions the church's means and motivations, well, then you absolutely wouldn't want to take communion from that asshole.
another side of a different coin might be interested in the idea that "church" by definition is limiting, just another governing, hierarchical body constructed so that type a's may assume leadership positions and enforce their own agendas under the guise that "jesus is lord" but might actually be operating under the "joe. q.awesome everyman is lord" concept, rarely discerning, frequently reactionary and built to eventually fail as every business model ultimately will.
before i closed our conversation this morning, i told the group that once hannah left for children's worship (didn't realize there would be none due to youth sunday), i'd yank out my phone and starting reading about football again.
reagan then asked the million dollar question that even anonymous commenters haven't asked.
"so, why even bother?"
it's a great question. a fair one. completely legitimate. and i answered him this way, the same answer that i hinted at in "the first post of september".
because i believe in the "idea" of "church". more specifically, i still believe in the "idea" of huffman united methodist church.
just because i am the definition of "hypocrisy" or a dickhead or a douchebag or an asshole doesn't give me the right as a parent to completely destroy the girls own experiences with church by poisoning them with mine.
do i see the limitations inherent in infrastructures that even call for positions such as "lay leader" (like i am qualified to lead anyone in a spiritual setting). well, of course i do. in my opinion, though, the same walls or boundaries or limits are part and parcel to any relationship. if you actively choose to marry something other than yourself, you are compromising part of yourself. if you actively choose to relate to any one thing, you say to yourself, "my experience tells me i am better off with you/it/etc. than without. let's do this shit." and when you relate to anything other than yourself, you give up on the idea that you will be solely responsible for the health of the relationship. it's not up to you anymore. it's up to y'all.
and so, as it relates to huffman united methodist church, i choose to be in relationship with the organism that is that community of faith. i choose to go every sunday even when i know people talk to the pastor behind my back. i choose to do so even when i am confident that the worship service will be, "second verse, same as the first."
i do so because i choose to. and here's the rub, anonymous commenter(s). i make all this noise because i genuinely believe in what i am doing. i believe, even if we absolutely refuse to change and make ourselves "better", that i am doing the right thing.
sucks for you, right? or not. just depends on what pisses you off and what doesn't.
i remain torn. i don't want to get in humc's way. there are days that i feel like i am more obstacle and less bulldozer.
i remain torn. i don't know if this system is what the god i love and spend time with had in mind for his work here.
while i am figuring it out, though, good thing there are several different stations for you to dunk your jesus bread in. while you're at it, maybe you can see those different stations and different options as a metaphor for our church experiences. different paths, different journeys, all finding our own way through the dark.
signed, the thorn in your side.
(hannah and caroline and me)
((part thirty-eight))
torn.
it's what i've been for months.
torn.
torn between advocating on behalf of anonymous commenters and people that wish the pastor would send me to "christian delinquent" camp and members that wished djg had a magical influence over my hypocritical ass...torn between advocating on behalf of all the people that
this morning, limbo started finding it's way to the crux of our situation. for 27 weeks, we've been pounding the pavement of what our function within the walls of huffman united methodist church was. did we have any function at all? was this church that was so generous to allow us one of the empty-ass sunday school classrooms to meet in representative of a system/structure/organism that
our talking point was an article whose author believed that 60 (!!!) percent of this country's population was culturally and relevantly removed from the way churches went about their business. the author (allan hirsch) lobbied his readers to embrace a new paradigm, one that encourages members of the outdated churches to take the spirit (not the letter. out of context scripture vomited from your mouth scares people. get it?) of the gospel of jesus christ to the 60 percent on their own turf in their own culture. it was an interesting angle and take. who knows where the dude came up with his numbers, but, in turn, it begged me to ask limbo this question(s).
is the "church" and church you are familiar with worth saving? is all of it's symbols and tradition and romance something worth working out the kinks, or is it time to say, "you know what? this shit isn't working. let's try something new."
a disclaimer should be entered here. no matter what you or we think of "church", there is one thing about this morning's conversation that is INDISPUTABLE. if not for huffman united methodist church and the people and our shared history and the resources and freedoms or sometimes lack thereof, there would be no limbo. it's just that simple.
on one side of the argument, you've got anonymous commenters and the like that are so blindly in love (a good thing, mind you) and loyal to their church that if some dickhead-sounding whippersnapper questions the church's means and motivations, well, then you absolutely wouldn't want to take communion from that asshole.
another side of a different coin might be interested in the idea that "church" by definition is limiting, just another governing, hierarchical body constructed so that type a's may assume leadership positions and enforce their own agendas under the guise that "jesus is lord" but might actually be operating under the "joe. q.
before i closed our conversation this morning, i told the group that once hannah left for children's worship (didn't realize there would be none due to youth sunday), i'd yank out my phone and starting reading about football again.
reagan then asked the million dollar question that even anonymous commenters haven't asked.
"so, why even bother?"
it's a great question. a fair one. completely legitimate. and i answered him this way, the same answer that i hinted at in "the first post of september".
because i believe in the "idea" of "church". more specifically, i still believe in the "idea" of huffman united methodist church.
just because i am the definition of "hypocrisy" or a dickhead or a douchebag or an asshole doesn't give me the right as a parent to completely destroy the girls own experiences with church by poisoning them with mine.
do i see the limitations inherent in infrastructures that even call for positions such as "lay leader" (like i am qualified to lead anyone in a spiritual setting). well, of course i do. in my opinion, though, the same walls or boundaries or limits are part and parcel to any relationship. if you actively choose to marry something other than yourself, you are compromising part of yourself. if you actively choose to relate to any one thing, you say to yourself, "my experience tells me i am better off with you/it/etc. than without. let's do this shit." and when you relate to anything other than yourself, you give up on the idea that you will be solely responsible for the health of the relationship. it's not up to you anymore. it's up to y'all.
and so, as it relates to huffman united methodist church, i choose to be in relationship with the organism that is that community of faith. i choose to go every sunday even when i know people talk to the pastor behind my back. i choose to do so even when i am confident that the worship service will be, "second verse, same as the first."
i do so because i choose to. and here's the rub, anonymous commenter(s). i make all this noise because i genuinely believe in what i am doing. i believe, even if we absolutely refuse to change and make ourselves "better", that i am doing the right thing.
sucks for you, right? or not. just depends on what pisses you off and what doesn't.
i remain torn. i don't want to get in humc's way. there are days that i feel like i am more obstacle and less bulldozer.
i remain torn. i don't know if this system is what the god i love and spend time with had in mind for his work here.
while i am figuring it out, though, good thing there are several different stations for you to dunk your jesus bread in. while you're at it, maybe you can see those different stations and different options as a metaphor for our church experiences. different paths, different journeys, all finding our own way through the dark.
signed, the thorn in your side.
Sunday, September 05, 2010
the first post of september
this morning in worship, i pulled out my phone and read a lot about the alabama and auburn football games of yesterday evening.
i fully expected to be able to keep up with the bama game on espn3 at the store, but it ended up being blacked out. instead, i kept up with the game by watching red arrows representing alabama and blue arrows representing san jose st. moving back and forth across a two dimensional field of dreams. it was terrible. alabama won, though, so that was good. as i type this, i'll start watching the css replay.
what i read during worship was pretty exciting. alabama took care of their weak competition just as they should. there was not asignificant drop-off in production due to mark ingram being out. instead, the maturation of greg mcelroy and a group of players that seem to be growing comfortable in their current offensive system was detailed in several different articles by several different authors, all duly impressed.
auburn, too, lit up their scoreboard. the quarterback that will make or break their season was, before last night, best known as the guy that was tim tebow's back-up at florida. the guy that got caught stealing a laptop. as campus authorities marched to his dorm room to question his involvement in the stealing of said laptop, dude tossed that shit out the window, cuz, yeah, that was ever going to work. anyway, all that's water under the bridge, cuz, from what i read this morning in worship, dude is the next randall cunningham. go figure.
so, "roll tide" and "war eagle", for whatever the first week of the season is worth. from what i read in worship this morning, we are marching toward an iron bowl matching two undefeated, offensive machines. I CANNOT WAIT!
so, why were you reading about football during worship?
great question. i don't really know, to be honest. i tried to tune in during the hymns and during the communion service and during the something about pottery and christ message, but i couldn't stay connected. on communion sundays, with hannah sitting in big church with us, i like to try and pretend that something meaningful or relevant will present itself.
that seems dishonest.
good call. you are right. it is dishonest. but i don't want to give up the ghost that big church could be a meaningful and relevant place for my children even if i don't find it as one myself currently. just because i am jaded doesn't mean i should indoctrinate my children with my cynicism.
d.j. fluker is freaking huge.
i love how marquis maze just dropped the ball and ran over to his own sideline after his td catch.
so, was there a point to this post?
not really. not other than the fact that eddie lacy and "war CAM eagle" and most especially julio jones are of way more interest and excitement to me than something about pottery and christ. don't get me wrong. pottery and christ got hannah talking, and that's all that really matters. at this point, i am pretty sure it would take harris cutting off his own hand and god sewing it back on in front of us for me to sit up and take notice.
that would be pretty awesome.
right? we could advertise it online or in the paper "recommended if you liked "the last exorcism"" that would bring the crowds. they'd come roaring in, rubberneckers all. we'd celebrate the packed house and then smash them across the face with the one and the only jesus h. christ.
that would show 'em.
i love my phone.
this morning in worship, i pulled out my phone and read a lot about the alabama and auburn football games of yesterday evening.
i fully expected to be able to keep up with the bama game on espn3 at the store, but it ended up being blacked out. instead, i kept up with the game by watching red arrows representing alabama and blue arrows representing san jose st. moving back and forth across a two dimensional field of dreams. it was terrible. alabama won, though, so that was good. as i type this, i'll start watching the css replay.
what i read during worship was pretty exciting. alabama took care of their weak competition just as they should. there was not a
auburn, too, lit up their scoreboard. the quarterback that will make or break their season was, before last night, best known as the guy that was tim tebow's back-up at florida. the guy that got caught stealing a laptop. as campus authorities marched to his dorm room to question his involvement in the stealing of said laptop, dude tossed that shit out the window, cuz, yeah, that was ever going to work. anyway, all that's water under the bridge, cuz, from what i read this morning in worship, dude is the next randall cunningham. go figure.
so, "roll tide" and "war eagle", for whatever the first week of the season is worth. from what i read in worship this morning, we are marching toward an iron bowl matching two undefeated, offensive machines. I CANNOT WAIT!
so, why were you reading about football during worship?
great question. i don't really know, to be honest. i tried to tune in during the hymns and during the communion service and during the something about pottery and christ message, but i couldn't stay connected. on communion sundays, with hannah sitting in big church with us, i like to try and pretend that something meaningful or relevant will present itself.
that seems dishonest.
good call. you are right. it is dishonest. but i don't want to give up the ghost that big church could be a meaningful and relevant place for my children even if i don't find it as one myself currently. just because i am jaded doesn't mean i should indoctrinate my children with my cynicism.
d.j. fluker is freaking huge.
i love how marquis maze just dropped the ball and ran over to his own sideline after his td catch.
so, was there a point to this post?
not really. not other than the fact that eddie lacy and "war CAM eagle" and most especially julio jones are of way more interest and excitement to me than something about pottery and christ. don't get me wrong. pottery and christ got hannah talking, and that's all that really matters. at this point, i am pretty sure it would take harris cutting off his own hand and god sewing it back on in front of us for me to sit up and take notice.
that would be pretty awesome.
right? we could advertise it online or in the paper "recommended if you liked "the last exorcism"" that would bring the crowds. they'd come roaring in, rubberneckers all. we'd celebrate the packed house and then smash them across the face with the one and the only jesus h. christ.
that would show 'em.
i love my phone.
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