classic HACAM
(part one)
given my perception of the scope of blog-gate, 2.0, i've been thinking about this post a lot over the last few days. not that it justifies anything, but i remember it like it was yesterday, and the sentiment of it holds true to me just like it did almost three years ago.
from january 8, 2008...
----------------------------------------------------
HOLY FUCK!!!
(it's a gun!)
((part two))
(clears throat) would all persons at this meeting whose foreheads have been pressed into with the business end of an ak-47 assault rifle please come forward? ...
anyone...
anyone?
it's not that i have been dodging the "should i cuss or not" question since i brought it up a couple weeks ago. to be honest, i have been waiting for something to happen to me that would allow my ridiculous argument of "why i should" to be placed in it's proper context.
sunday night, something happened.
so, if you would kindly humor me, good and righteous people of robinson springs united methodist church (just the douche-y ones that wrote their pastor on christmas day and told them that he shouldn't link his blog to one that contains dirty words...not the actual good and honest and human ones), please enlighten me to the "holier" words that you would have spoken aloud or in your heart if a crazy-ass pet store robber (one that was in your store only two weeks ago) places a military-issue assault rifle to your head and you were unsure of his intent to use it. in the same moment, you were unsure if you had seen your wife, your two daughters, your friends, your family that may or may not like you, your employees or any other person that shares this earth with you for the last time. what words would you have chosen to emote in this "somewhat unpleasant" situation? "fiddlesticks!"? "oh, poop!"? "dadblammit!"? "ah, pickles!"? something else? you tell me. i would love to be ingrained with something other than the words that i chose after the situation resolved itself. those words were "fuck me!", and "shit." among others. i called the criminals "cocksuckers." i called their mothers worse. i called their friends and anyone that enjoyed their company much, much worse (they, you see are part of the problem. the mother may have disowned the sons long ago, hence i let her off the hook a little bit.) in the moments that i realized that my life was spared for the second time in just over three months, in the moments that i was grateful that my assistant manager's life was spared for the second time in two weeks (!!!), i could not resist the temptation to projectile vomit towards the heavens words that made me feel better about my current situation. and so i did. loudly and with defiance.
not defiant towards god, mind you. i truly believe that god couldn't give a shit (gasp!!!) about the words that come out of my mouth minus if those words might cause one of my brothers or sisters "to stumble". do i admit that my potty-mouth may have affected someone, even some young one, in a negative way more than once? absolutely, i do. and that's something i am working on. but i'll get back to this in a minute. not defiant towards god, mind you, but defiant with the small hope that the two guys running away from my store could hear my cries of rage and with the small hope that they understood that they, themselves, would need god's assistance to rip me off their ass if we ever happened upon each other at a time they were not carrying a gun.
i grew up in homes where the "cuss" words i use today were used as perfectly acceptable nouns, adjectives and adverbs. not that i am trying to justify anything. i am just being forthright. i inherited my blue tongue quite honestly. you, whoever you are, may not have grown up in such a home. your home might have replaced my words with other words that you said when you were so pissed off that you wanted to throw your cat at a wall. but, instead of hurting one of god's creatures, you chose to yell at the top of your lungs, "PINEAPPLE CHERRYCAKES!!!" does that really make your choice of words any less offensive? really? if you use any combination of letters and guttural sounds to express your displeasure, even if they don't rhyme with "shit" or "piss", haven't you still lost control in some way? hmm....
i lose control in small ways all the time, in bigger ways sometimes and in big, nasty ways hardly ever. but in all three instances, i usually use some combination of these. if you don't? awesome. if you do? awesome. if it bothers you to see them here? turn me off. i am ok with that. if i offend off everyone that ever happens across this page, that is fine. i hope you enjoy your time here, but if not, it's not for you. turn me off.
i am a bruised, beaten-down, imperfect and, at times, very lonely man. this is my journey. this is part of my life, living for my god and my family, living for you to see. sometimes, i get mad. sometimes, i cuss. sometimes, i have good reason. sometimes, i do not. sometimes, i care. sometimes, i care not.
sanctification is tough for me. i bet it is for you too. i wish you well on your journey. and i wish you less well today, you ignorant pieces of shit that scared the piss out of me and my employees again sunday night, than i will tomorrow. that's how it works. each day you heal. each day you move forward. some days, bricks hit your ass in the face and knock you backward.
(cue allen iverson impression) words??? words??? we gonna talk about words??? you gonna question my heart in the game, man???? or you wanna talk about words???
question my words, you may. question my heart, you may not.
i will prove you wrong.
18 comments:
Okay, seriously. As for my two cents, I believe someone resorting to "can we cut the language?" or "well I don't have to listen to you because of the words you're using" is just that -- resorting to something off-topic to "buff up" their argument.
i grew up in homes where the "cuss" words i use today were used as perfectly acceptable nouns, adjectives and adverbs.
Me too. Sometimes it's hard to believe, since my mom seems so sweet and all, but woman can cuss like a sailor. Oh, but I forgot, women aren't supposed to hear or read bad words!
On another note, yay for no robberies recently (knock wood)!!
Kevin, (I did read the blog too, not just your post) I just had to say something on this one. (I bet you're shocked.) First, I just don't believe there are any "bad" words. I do believe there are words that are offensive to me, but you may be surprised which words I find offensive and I don't think I've ever heard you use any of MY "offensive words". Of course, there are the socially offensive words (que George Carlin) which society calls "bad" or "ugly" words. The problem with the use of these words when you are trying to make a point about something (other than making point about using such words) is that your point is probably going to be lost on those you most want to affect because they can't get past the use of these words. However, if your intent is to just write out your feelings, then go ahead. But, as I've pointed out before, you have chosen to write your feelings out on a public forum so you're going to have voyeurs who are going to occasionally become active participants because you've offended their sensibilities. So, as I see it you have a few options: 1) write what you want and have a thick skin so you don't care or get hurt by what the "offended parties" say; 2) write your feelings in a more private place so voyeurs have a more difficult time finding your "words"; 3) change the way you write...
...NOW, as to you voyeurs, if you are offended by Kevin's words, QUIT READING THE BLOG! If I'm offended by something I see on TV, guess what, I change the channel. If I'm offended by a movie, I turn it off or leave the theater. If I'm offended by a book, I don't finish the book. (You see my pattern here by now, I hope.) I don't attack the person responsible for what offends me because I'm quite sure I'm offensive to any number of people any number of times a day and I sure don't want to be attacked.(Sorry for the lengthy comment.)
Alma,
Thanks again for the feedback.
Something that was defined in the beginning of this blog was this. The only person(s) I have any interest in "affect"ing are Hannah and Caroline. They will be plenty exposed and desensitized to the seven words you can't say on television by living with me, so them missing the point by my choice of words is not a worry I carry.
As for "everyone else", growing a thick skin and trying to ignore things that I take issue with kind of defeats the point of my having this journal out "for all the world to see". As I mentioned in Limbo yesterday, every back and forth in the comments is likely to be a conversation I may never have with that person(s) face to face, so I own them, embrace them even, as an opportunity for dialogue. I'll get something out of it no matter if the "offended" party does or not. And if they don't, that's a "them" problem, not a Kevin problem...
I appreciate you reinforcing something that I've said in this "classic" post and many others. Coming to HACAM is your choice. If it offends your sensibilities or surprises your misinformed perception of who you thought I was, well, as you suggested, turn the channel.
If you choose to participate in a conversation, though, great! Welcome!
If you choose to conclude that I don't have enough G-O-D in my life, well, again, that's a "you" problem. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Stranger: There's just one thing dude.
Dude: What's that?
Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?
Dude:...the fuck you talking about?
Good points Alma.
Christina, I know plenty of sweet women with potty mouths. but there may be more people with clean mouths and unclean hearts.
Kevin, you cannot have face-to-face dialogue with anonymous people. In Matthew 18, Jesus said GO to your brother who offends you. He did not say to post an anonymous comment on his blog.
Hi, good post. I have been pondering this topic,so thanks for sharing. I’ll likely be coming back to your posts. Keep up the good work
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