since when did i know anything about anything


i missed my window to publish my usual and annual "nobody knows anything" post before the ncaa tourney began.

just as well. the sentiment holds true, year after year. the tournament may have seemed more unpredictable this year as compared to most, but it wasn't. every year in the last 5-10 years, the tourney has been unpredictable. this year, four double-digit seeds remain in the last sixteen. that's about right. there's a butler that people tend to remember have a really decent basketball program only after they pull an upset against an overrated big conference opponent. there's a wisconsin that nobody picks in their bracket either because they play a horribly unattractive brand of basketball that people who watch games don't want to see advance or you might have heard that they scored 33 points in a game late in their season and the casual bracket challenger figured they couldn't really be any good. there's duke because there is always duke. same with kentucky. the power conference team in ohio st. that seems better than they are because a one and done freshman has been outclassing inferior opponents all year. there's jimmer. there's kemba. and a couple of also-rans that will likely end up in the final four mainly because i didn't mention them today.

hindsight proves nothing just as it proves everything all at once. not one bracket out of 5.9 million entered on espn guessed the sweet 16 correctly. not one.

so, why am i so mad? disappointed? angry even at finding new ways to find myself at the bottom of my bracket pool?

if nobody knows anything, should i be excluded? of course not. i didn't watch any college basketball this season. remove a few frustrating alabama basketball experiences and one jimmer masterpiece, i did not watch one other game from start to finish this season.

nevertheless, i entered my picks with confidence. surely, i would have seen enough sportscenter to make up for my lack of first-hand knowledge of the teams in question. and then it hit me. all sportscenter shows are alley-oops and dunks, maybe the occasional three. i don't know who's any good. i just know that one guy that used to play at alabama made top ten plays that one time. holy. shit. i've become my wife!

speaking of my wife, her bracket predictions are currently in the 96th percentile in the country. mine? 37th?

how effed up is that? you know what my wife really gets fired up about? grey's anatomy. and twilight. and mashed potatoes.

i don't know what that says about me, but it's not good.

i am fearful that one of these days i will understand and own that my being brash and claiming "nobody knows anything" as a subtle sleight of hand to make you think that i do doesn't really make any sense. i'll realize that i am no better at predicting the sports future than my three year old and i'll give up the ghost.

i won't even fill out a bracket. yeah, that's it. i won't fill one out and then i'll tell you and you and you how stupid you were for picking louisville over morehead st. you should've seen that one coming miles down the pipe.

yeah, i'll do that next year.