love is like infinity
(from the world according to mister rogers)


the page reads: love is like infinity. you can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're "equally infinite." infinity just is, and that's the way i think love is too. romantic, and appropriate for the valentine's day page of last year's calendar.

i don't know if i buy that. i get what the author is saying. if you are trying to articulate something as big as true love, why not choose a word that defines something that has no beginning and no end. something that, in fact, has no equal. the part i don't buy is this particular quote doesn't allow for the idea of the evolution of love. the idea that at some point in a relationship, the whole infinity feeling goes away and choice takes over. sure, love will always play some, if not a huge, role in the relationship, but choice and commitment to the party in question becomes bigger.

for example, the first time i had a milkshake from chick-fil-a, i "loved" it. i bought four that week. i thought i would buy four every week. but i didn't. i have had four since. now, sure, eight milkshakes in one month from chick-fil-a is a lot, but it's not four a week, and i definitely don't "love" them like i thought i did. i may now choose to have one every once in a while now, showing my commitment with a hope that they stay on the menu, but my love for the milkshake is different now. the infinity part is gone. if i never had a milkshake from chick-fil-a again, my life would still go on.

the same case could be constructed for everything in my life i have ever loved. original recipe from kentucky fried chicken. chocolate ice cream. my first dog. my present dog. atari. sega genesis. playstation. playstation 2. playstation 3 (i already love you, even though we have never met.). soccer. basketball. softball. my mom. my dad. my brother. my family. my step-family. my church. my church family. sarah. hannah. jesus. in every case, i was overwhelmed by the love i had for each and every one of the things/persons. in every case, the infinity part has fallen away and my love evolved. with the exception of the last three items of my list, my life would still be just fine without all of the things in my life that i have "so loved".

i bring this up because i have not been able to shake a phone conversation (i was eavesdropping on) that sarah was having with one of her friends about a friend of theirs from high school that had left his wife and child for someone else. someone newer. fresher. girlfriend version 3.1. of course, to any rational outside observer, such a move seems foolish and shortsighted and just plain stupid. i have had one of my oldest and closest friends make a similar move, though, and knowing the person didn't help the situation make any more sense.

love, as everyone says, is a powerful thing. it makes people write things like, "love is like infinity." it makes you buy too many milkshakes and play too many videogames. but love does have an end. many ends i would argue, and many new beginnings. and until you are faced with a choice and choose to move along the same path however different or less filling/fun it may be, then i would continue to argue that you have not loved at all.

if this all rings a bit accusatory, please don't read it that way. i, myself, am unsure that i loved, by my own definition, until recently. it's good to know what that feels like, though. i promise you that. and it's good to know that i am past the whole "love is like infinity" part of my life.