my life as a single-dad for three days
(the preview)
((back to the future, part me))


most of you know that i am married to a beautiful mom of about-to-be two girls named sarah. sarah gets shout-outs from time to time on TWALBTMLE, but i haven't started a series as of yet called sarah and me. there are a number of reasons for this. mainly, my inspiration for starting this journal was to put down in words thoughts in my head that chronicled things that i felt like were important before hannah was old enough for me to say these thoughts out loud to her. so, as has been the case for the majority of my entries, i write with hannah in mind. what do i want her to know? how does something affect her because it affected me? why does daddy have crushes on other men? things of that nature. it's not that sarah is not on my mind or that i don't think i could write something entertaining or endearing about sarah. it's more that i hope(d) that if something was on my mind, we as two grown adults could just, well...you know, talk about it.

well, "talking about it", a lot of the times, is not my greatest strength. the longer i have kept up with the blog the more i realize this. if someone were to challenge me in a death match of coping tactics such as avoidance or internalization, i would kick their ass and then lead them into a big pile of manure like i was marty and they were biff. when it comes to saying what's on my heart and mind, though, i am a lot closer to george mcfly than marty. but that's where sarah comes in to the picture. in my life, sarah is my lorraine. she's very smart. very pretty. and a lot more sure of me, most of the time, than i am of myself. she's patient and she's kind. and then she's more patient. she takes care of me when i deserve it and when i don't. and she doesn't yell at me when she should (like when i left the door to hannah's room open yesterday and punkin bled all over her blanket and floor). she allows me to play my sports. she listens to me talk about my sports. and she's even pretended to like the braves and falcons and other teams i cheer for so we can do it together. and then she's more patient.

unfortunately, tomorrow, she's leaving. not for good, thank god, but for a few days, hannah and i will be left to fend for ourselves (god help hannah). i am not too anxious, but i bet sarah is. she won't tell me, but i am fairly sure she expects something to break or burn down while she's gone, and she might be right. even if it does, though, she probably won't yell.

and so, beginning tomorrow, i'll be a single dad (in body only). we'll see how it goes. i've already admitted to not cooking, so i am thinking of dinner at mcdonald's, taco bell, and chick-fil-a should suffice for the first three days. right? that sounds good. we are going to have a blast and too much trans-fat, but it'll be an adventure.

do you remember when i went to huntsville? voluntarily? and didn't make it home for days at a time? sarah told me to do it (or she said it was cool). she knew that i needed to and that we would get along. that she could do the single mom thing for a little bit while i found myself. the farther removed i am from that experience, the more it defines how good of a girl sarah is. hannah and i will be ok without her, but i am very glad it's only for a few days.

i love you lorraine, calvin klein