elicit-tastic


yesterday, sarah shared with me a bit of news from the children's place that stirred me from my otherwise normal day. i don't think i am breaking any sort of confidence by forwarding this on to the blog, but if this post disappears sometime this evening, then you'll know i was wrong. moving on. evidently, a infant/toddler was sent to the daycare wearing a onesie with a phrase containing the word "fuck" blazed across the front. as you can imagine, i was ecstatic. my reaction ranged from "that is awesome." to "can i have the parents' number so i can date them?" to "where can we get caroline one of these onesies?". you may judge my reactions as sophomoric, immature and stupid if you'd like. you'd probably be right.

needless to say, it being a "church" daycare (a stance only seriously taken in situations such as these when when it fits the daycare's argument), everyone went into ape-shit mode. i will remove the names of those involved to prevent anyone (read: myself) from getting into trouble, but reactions in and around the hallways of the children's place ranged from "we've got to kick this kid out." to "we don't need these types of families in our school." (mmm. that's good church-speak.) to something along the lines of "this makes me want to have this kid here more so that we can play a role in raising them in a way that doesn't include this type of language." (thank god for sanity) personally, i would hope that my church's role in this child's upbringing doesn't completely clockwork orange all the "fucks" out of him, but i understand and appreciate the last sentiment much more than the first two.

because this is where we are. as a church. as a society. as a culture. and i, myself, am happy to be here. amidst the conversation. amidst the controversy. i wonder how you or anyone else might react if you saw an infant wearing the clothing in question. would you laugh because you thought it was funny? would you be offended like some of the daycare staffers were? would you be convinced that this was yet another sign of the fall of man? maybe some of all of these. maybe none. how would you react? and the better question is, "why?"

every so often, something like this hits us at the core of who we are. we react to it and that reaction goes a long way in defining our upbringing, our beliefs, our convictions and where we are headed as individual human beings. our reaction to something like a toddler wearing an "offensive" shirt calls into question if the shirt is a good or a bad thing. a funny or a foolish thing. the product of a parent that considers themself "cool" or a parent that is using their child as a tool to buck "the system" or "the man" because they don't feel like their voice, alone, is loud enough to be heard. but the way that we react says much, much more about us than it will ever say about the parent that put it on and most definitely about the oblivious child that is sporting the bad-ass-ed-ness without the ability to comprehend the hi-jinks that will ensue because of it.

so, what, ultimately, does it say about us? well, obviously it says something different to each different person, and that is part of the beauty of life. it is much easier to react like cattle and say something politically correct like "we don't need this type of riff-raff infecting our fine, upstanding institution of babysitting." it is much more difficult to take the picture with a widescreen lens and try to understand everything that led up to that child wearing that shirt on that day. to try and understand that it probably wasn't a stand-alone act of rebellion. that it could be something as simple as choosing the wrong vehicle for a poorly thought-out choice or something as complicated as a cry for help.

for me, i wish i was so brave to send caroline or hannah to school in something so garish that it would elicit a phone call from the chidren's place brass. alas, i am not. i blogged a long time ago that i hardly ever wore one of my favorite shirts because i didn't want to offend anyone. i am not the offending type. but offending and knowing why something is offensive are two, entirely different things.

the more unwilling our church or any church is to determine why something like a toddler wearing a shirt that says "...fuck..." is "offensive", the less relevant we become. the higher the wall between "us" and "them" is built. and the more exclusive our "club" is perceived. it's a shame. that toddler's shirt could have been the catalyst for a brilliant debate and discussion. instead, it devolved immediately into "us" versus "them", the two sides being argued by people that share the same sanctuary on sunday mornings.

thank you, "parent that will never be allowed to dress their child again", for showing "us" another example of how far "we" have to come.