disarmed
(pun intended)


"...the truth will set you free." - scripture-ripped from the mouth of jesus, himself. (or the translated mouth of jesus written down by some guy standing in the vicinity of him. it's pretty credible i hear. i digress.)

sometimes. yeah, i guess that's true. before that whole free thing happens, most of the time the "truth hurts." ( not ripped from jesus. i mean, i am sure he said it at some point in his life. i just don't know if some guy in the vicinity of him heard it. or wrote it down. or whatever. i digress)

a couple months back, i struggled on this site while coming to terms with the idea that one or two of the guys that i employed may have been indirectly responsible for me having an assault rifle pressed to my face. back and forth my brain has bounced from anger to sadness as i've tried to process what that would mean for me, them and their family. i heard a rumor last night and confirmed it with a story that i don't understand how i missed (considering how obsessive i've been looking around for new information) that further cements, in my mind, the idea having legs.

here's the story.

http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2008/08/seven_charged_with_homewood_ro.html

only pay attention to the last two paragraphs. the stuff above doesn't pertain to they guys i know. one of the last three mentioned and his brother both worked with me at the store up until they stopped showing up back in july. after their no-shows, we started hearing rumors about them being involved in nefarious goings-on such as pointing guns in peoples' faces and taking money that didn't belong to them. we, at the store, didn't want to hear any of that. these were among the nicest, most respectful young adults i had ever been around. after our store was robbed three times (a fourth was unsuccessful but still included guns pressed to my employee's head) in four months, they (the brothers) would participate, in their own way, in conversations where we would all swear to doing bad things to our perpetrators if we ever had the chance. if only we knew then what we know now, huh?

after most of the rumors we were hearing were confirmed by officers of the law that still come by and check on us from time to time, there was still a part of me that wanted them to be wrong. that wanted to hear that some guy named "my" guys in an effort to lessen his own punishments, and "my" guys' names would be cleared. knowing today that one of "my" guys sits in jail, charged with multiple robberies and attempted robberies, cuts most of the reality out of my want. i now know that their names have, at the very least, been placed in a conspiracy role with regards to the psp store jobs. and my wish for them to be free and safe and innocent has now been replaced by my genuine hope that (a) bad things happen to them in jail and (b) that i never see them again for the rest of my life.

at least, that's what i say here on the blog. here i can vomit all over my shoes and clean it up in a few days when i don't feel quite as bitter. if i were to actually see them, face to face, again, i would act towards them like i always did. i'd ask them how they were getting along. i'd hope for an apology. i'd forgive them anyway. after all, luckily, no one was hurt (if you don't count mentally scarred as being hurt). it wasn't my money (well, yeah. one time it was.) that they and their cute little band of robbers split.

who knows. maybe one day, someone can do a better job than me of showing them the context of translated jesus' (i don't think they know aramaic. that's ok, though. i don't either.) story and they'll understand that another, more positive income-earning direction would look better on them. i will pray for that.

the truth shall blah, blah, blah.

but not if you are a robber.