the end of the world
(part two)
(("supporting caste"))


"...there will be no revisions to the script made on behalf of a supporting cast(e)."

in many of propagandhi's cuts, there is a good bit of predeterminism hurled as insult at those that govern society and are responsible for the big idea of "religion". all of it is justified i suppose if you base it upon their own personal experiences and biases. i know that i don't agree with it all, but it makes me think nonetheless.

there are think-tank bands, bands that are more interested in the message of their music even if it compromises the quality of their songwriting (see: christian radio). and there are genre/pop bands, bands that, no matter their style, are much more interested in "writing a good song". there may still be a message attached, but it's secondary to the structure, the hook and the melody. nothing inherently wrong with either way a band chooses to evolve, but in the fifteen years or so that i've given serious listen and attention to music, the bands that can bridge the gap between the two and not be impossible to enjoy i could probably count on one hand. as you can probably guess, my own opinion marks propagandhi as one of those exceptions. terribly talented musicians. can write viciously hook-y, fast songs, all the while never losing sight of what it is that they are trying to "say". sometimes they are pointed. sometimes political. sometimes sarcastic. all the time awesome. today's entry to this twelve-part series would most likely consider itself a little of all.

if you were a band, what kind would you be? if you were writing a song, would you start with the lyrics? or the hook?

i feel like i probably run into more "lyrics" people than i do "hook" people, and there is nothing wrong with that. getting out the message that is "you" is important. though, the unfortunate part about your message can rear it's head when it's not necessarily "your" message, but something that you've learned, adopted, copied, pasted, molded then photoshopped into some variation on a theme. what's that oscar wilde quote that rebecca has on her blog? "most people are other people. their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." i wonder if he had religion on his mind when that thought came to him.

we are approaching the time of year when i, often, feel most uncomfortable with my faith. easter. moreso than any other part of the year, i feel like we elbow out most honest discourse in favor of a very simple, yet intoxicatingly complex, question. do you choose to believe with "us"? or do you not? he is risen. or he hasn't. "we" are all surrounded by congregations that most likely dwarf those of any other sunday on the calendar. we are reinforced with sheer numbers that the faith by which we subscribe is not a lonely or dwindling effort, but one that "hey! look at all of the new and old" faces believe in too. it's a glorious day. and a haunting one all at the same time. for even with our sanctuaries full, there are those outside of the walls approaching the "special" day just as they would any other day called sunday. there will be those in the pews that will not be celebrating, but be enveloped in doubt and concern that if it's "this way" or the highway, i might as well jump in my car.

i am sad that i will be away from huffman on easter morning. i married into a tradition that travels our family to georgia, to a small church that feels like a "real" church only because i've romanticized it to be that. but i am glad too. personal drama, deception and misinformation will play no role in my worship experience. the baggage that i have made myself such a part of within our congregation will have to wait on me 'til the next week when the crowd isn't so big. when the "message" doesn't feel so black and white. and two hours away from here, i can sit and appreciate all of my doubts and all of my concerns for what they are without the fear of someone noticing.

it seems we find ourselves in a place where our church has no problem getting "our message" (it's DIA, right?) out. but, to me, it feels like we are struggling to be more than just a variation on a theme.

maybe i am wrong.

or maybe we should try writing the song first.