hannah and caroline and me
(part twenty-seven)
((the seven year which))


i had to the pleasure of watching most of the season 5 premiere of jon and kate plus eight last night. much to my surprise, it seems the turnaround from the actual filming of the massive family to airdate is pretty quick. and so, the viewer was given just enough shots of "ooh, look. they aren't talking to each other." and "oh, snap. she didn't even look in his direction." to satisfy the rubbernecking quotient for the night.

i had never watched the show in full before. i don't know all the kids' names. but, since the sextuplets are all just a little younger than hannah, it was easy enough to watch them enjoy their birthday party and i could judge them as being way less cool and way less smart than my big girl.

it wasn't until way late in the show, though, that jon dropped this knowledge on me that i have dwelled on for about twelve hours.

jon: "my mom always told me that life was about choices. and it is."

christ. he's right. life is about choices. and if i am reading all the edits and the soundbites from his show correctly, he is about to have to make a big one. whatever that is. i'll have to tune in next week to see if he makes it. a choice that is. i'll let you know what happens. (just to be sure, this will be the last time i ever mention this show again. unless a smoke monster shows up to judge kate's haircut.)

life is about choices. should i stay? should i go? should i return this e-mail in a timely fashion? or should i apologize for not doing so a few days later? paper/plastic? "good" dog food or "better" dog food? help or don't help? long, green socks or short, below the ankle? jeans or jeans? tuck the shirt in or leave it out or mullet-tuck or reverse mullet-tuck? weed-eat or put it off? take spud and "spud jr." to the vet or let nature run it's course? fold these clothes now or later? exercise now or later? eat lunch or try and get along without it? stay up late and watch lincecum beat the braves or go to bed and hope to see they beat him in the morning? walk to the altar to pray or keep working towards my life being an open prayer. keep tearing at the fabric that used to be my church or stay cool until the new guy comes and let the "first 90 days" thing play out? and so on.

in a couple weeks, hannah will be a big part of vacation bible school. i am going to take a couple days worth of vacation so i can be there most of the week. i have chosen "yes" to vbs because it's one of the few ways i get to show kids that god loves them. i choose "yes" to vbs because vbs 2009 should be every bit as good as vbs 1985 and, by participating, i can make sure that my part is. vbs isn't a mission opportunity. it's a lifestyle. it's a week-long prayer. it's a months-long prayer, if you count the thought and the energy and time it takes to get ready for the week. it's one of the more perfect metaphors that a congregation could and should look to as they prepare themselves for a journey that doesn't end on sunday, but begins there. because let's face it, if your journey is ending on sunday, you are bound to be disappointed.

i've got this picture of me somewhere participating in a humc vbs way back in the day. i am seriously tanned and seriously buck-toothed. you can see part of the costume that we wore that year. i was outside in the the courtyard area, where we had a market and traded stuff and searched for stuff and made stuff and i have this huge smile on my face. i think of that picture every time i start to wonder if vbs is worth my time. and then i think that i'll get to see between 50-75 kids, if not more, each day at vbs. and then i think, if even one kid gets a picture taken that week that he looks back on with as much favor as i do mine, then it was worth my time and my vacation days. if that kid looks back at that 25 year-old picture someday and includes it in his motivation to change his world for the better??? well, damn. i don't know if i'd ever need another compliment for the rest of my life.

life is about choices. today, i choose to encourage you to work vacation bible school. if only for a day. if only for an hour.

it's worth it.