happy index
(part disney)
((part one))


might as well extend the series while everyone is asleep. i've only been gone from birmingham for two full days, but i already feel disconnected from the world. i know what my timeline on twitter and my news feed on facebook tells me. that's about it. it's kind of nice. that being said, i really don't have a good subject to riff on, so i'll riff on what i've known for a day and a half... walt disney world.

the ugly:

there are kids everywhere. obviously, this goes without saying, but i am not sure i and sarah would be able to enjoy ourselves on a trip here, just the two of us. i bet she would/will disagree with me on that, and maybe she'd be right. maybe looking at all of the kids would be a wonderful reminder that ours weren't with us for a short time. in many moments while standing in line so far, i have been fearful that being surrounded by children would only serve to remind me that i have children. period. kids are crying. kids are screaming. kids are cussing out their parents. and that's just MY kids. seriously, though, this place does bring clearly into focus that all parents share all the same problems all at the same time. kids get tired in general. here at the happiest place on earth, all of their senses are in hyper-aware mode all of the time. it's like a cell phone constantly trying to pull a 3g signal. the battery dies fast. the kids hannah's age are in perpetual anticipation mode, wondering what we are going to do next, ride next, eat next or what character we are going to see next. caroline, on the other hand, is anticipating also, but her anticipation is wrought from fear. fear of what we are going to do next, ride next, eat next or what character she'll be forced to interact with next. because of her age, we can't ease her worry in the same way we can explain things to hannah. hannah hears us and can process what we are trying to say. caroline can hear and understand some of what we are saying, but, really, she is just mentally paralyzed at the thought of having to sit through "it's tough to be a bug" again. for her, one bad experience forecasts the rest of the experiences as bad until proven otherwise. hannah can be traumatized by the "rock 'n roller coaster", cry it out and then start to look forward to something less upside down.

what we see and can read on our children's faces is painted on the faces of every single stinking kid in the parks. either they just had a really good time at "toy story mania" or their big brother totally fucking lied to them about "tower of terror" not being scary and they want to go. home. now. somewhere away from here. or get me a $5 ice cream bar, mom. whatever. i'm about to lose it. too late. they lost it.

kids, man. such emotional little basketcases. every parent has been exactly like us the last couple months. telling stories of how this will be the BEST. WEEK. EVER...whether the kids like it or not. for us parents, we are living vicariously through our children. if they love the attraction, we love the attraction. if they hate it, we hate our spouse that recommended it. i am serious. sarah and i have stared a couple holes through each other already because something didn't go exactly the way we had it going in our heads. it is ridiculous. death stares are not what BEST. WEEK. EVER.'s are supposed to be about.

and really...they aren't. but our emotional barometers are the aforementioned stinking kids, and hannah has cut me in half with her glare a couple times in a day and half.

"daddy...what in the holy fuck were you thinking that i would enjoy that death trap of a roller coaster. i am fucking seven, daddy. a little girl, goddammit. i like iCarly. i don't know what an aerosmith is, and i don't really give a shit to find out why they got a roller coaster and the jonas brothers haven't yet. take me on that again, daddy. do it. we are sleeping right next to each other. i will bash your face while you dream."

at least, that's how i interpreted her tears as i carried her off the ride.

kids, man. they are everywhere.

the bad:

n/a

the good:

n/a

the great:

everything that i wrote above in "the ugly"? forget i said it. i didn't mean it. not a word.

do you know how fucking happy hannah is in walt disney world??? i mean, for her, this is heaven. this is what it is all about. without lifting a finger, this vacation magically happened for her and caroline. reservations for dinners with princesses, rides on buses, attractions with rhinos, musicals inspired by her favorite disney movies, all of the ingenious, beautiful, incredibly intimidating machine that is disney was created just for her, for her to enjoy and reap the benefits of. for caroline that is riding on her sister's coattails, there are moments where she is totally into it, too. she smiles or hugs pocahontas and we, her parents, aren't stressed or bitching at her. the girls come back to the hotel from disney and turn on the tv...to disney. we swim, we ride, we eat. mommy and daddy don't go to work. they don't go to daycare. they wake up from a nap in a few minutes and we are going to do it again. part 2 of day 2, this vacation made just for them.

it's not for us, except that it is for us, in that it's for them, so it's for us.

they are our emotional barometers and we wouldn't want it any other way. all the money we spend. all the time we take off. the exhaustion we can already predict (with over half of our vacation still left waiting for us) for when we get home. it's all worth it if it's worth it to them.

and so far, i think they would tell you it's been worth it. more moments than not have been filled with stars in their eyes because they are seeing things and experiencing things that are unlike anything in huffman, alabama. they may be seeing things and experiencing things that are unlike anything they'll see again in their lives, or, at least, another long time.

as a daddy, i need to keep my fucking cool. the first two and half hours this morning were seamless. the next two were not. we've got seven left in this day and then days 3 and 4 to go to make sure the girls know and feel like it's not work. it's not a burden.

that it's the happiest place on earth. that it's called that for a reason.

time to wake them up from a nap. they are going to be pissed. and tired. and cranky.

maybe hugging mickey will help.