hannah and caroline and june and me
(part one)
((the story of june's name))


have you ever seen the movie from dusk 'til dawn? if you haven't, there's a good chance your life is better for it. it's pretty crappy. crappy, but fun. the imdb synopsis is as follows: "two criminals and their hostages unknowingly seek refuge in an establishment populated by vampires, with chaotic results (naturally)." directed by robert rodriguez, the only reason this terrible movie gets made is that quentin tarantino wanted it to be made. on the heels of pulp fiction, quentin could make whatever he wanted to. in 1996, when this movie hit, there was no such thing as twilight or vampire diaries or true blood or my babysitter's a vampire. vampire movies were still b class, but quentin wanted to make it with his buddy, rodriguez, so it got made.

i remember watching the movie, starring george clooney (then of er fame), and being mildly entertained. clooney was still skating by on his good looks and still doing that er thing where he would look at a woman and then shyly look down with a grin. this was his go-to move. he does this, like, ten times in from dusk 'til dawn, which seems like a pretty feminine response to fighting off vampires. it was pretty silly, but, at the same time, in the movie he also was (pretend) inked with a massively awesome tattoo. his character's name was seth gecko. at some point during the movie, i fell in love with george clooney, his lovely eyes, his tic where he looked down shyly with the grin, his pretend tattoo, and his character's name, seth.

i was in my first post-high school serious relationship at the time. we were nowhere close to thinking about children, but i decided then and there, were i to have a boy, his name would be seth. seth gecko michael o'kelley.

fast forward to 2003. i've now married sarah. sarah is pregnant with child. we find out the child is a girl. sarah's female name equivalent of seth is hannah. hannah marie. our first child would be hannah marie o'kelley.

fast forward to 2007. i am still married to sarah. sarah is pregnant with child. we find out the child is a girl. the name, caroline, occurs to sarah, more than likely during one of her trips to or from tuscaloosa. caroline's middle name would be a sarah's side of the family name, lilla. our second child would be caroline lilla o'kelley.

fast forward to 2011. i am still married to sarah. sarah is pregnant with child. this was going to be my seth. sarah said for weeks "this one feels different". as much i had romanticized and fantasized over the idea of having a boy for fifteen years, i was stoked. because of my reconnection with my brother brian (patrick o'kelley), my boy name had evolved. our third child would be called seth patrick o'kelley.

that is, until we find out our third child would be a girl.

much to my surprise, sarah was pretty taken aback and (a little) disappointed in the revelation, herself. i had not given much thought or time to that concept, because i was too wrapped up in what i wanted. that being said, it took a while before we gave any serious thoughts to naming our now third girl.

when we got down to it, these are the names that came up most often:

eva (sarah)
scarlett (sarah)
sloane (me)
beatrix (me)
bree (me, it's the female version of brian)
amelia
many, many others

my names above never really made it past the cut line. i, on the other hand, immediately cut eva (and the many, many others i suppose). scarlett, i didn't shoot down immediately. i didn't dislike it at all, and scarlett was the leader in our clubhouse for many, many weeks.

dateline: sunday morning worship about a month or so before june arrived. for different reasons, i started to feel conflicted about scarlett. again, i didn't have anything against the name, but it just didn't feel connected to me. it didn't feel like mine, as selfish as that probably sounds.

so, we re-opened the negotiations and sarah throws out the name amelia. she doesn't like her middle name, elizabeth, attached to amelia, so she proposed june as amelia's middle name.

i like it.

for a couple weeks, amelia june joins scarlett elizabeth on the leaderboard.

i couldn't get june out of my head, and the reasons for that are plenty. every time i thought of june, i naturally thought of june hearin which, in turn, made me think of gerry hearin.

gerry deserves his own blog and will get it one day, so i won't wax poetic about him for long here, but i will say this. having given it serious thought, gerry is one of three adult men in my life that i have ever held in high enough regard to consider them a mentor or a role model. while on staff with gerry, i learned to love him and soak up everything that i could from him in my limited time around him (he was only part time). gerry had my back and was willing to give advice whenever i needed it. he was a champion and defender of huffman united methodist church and it was through him and his wisdom that i channeled my own passion as an adult for the church that saw me through part of my childhood. gerry was everything that i thought a pastor should be. kind, eloquent, smart, sincere, and honest. the time i spent with him and around him during that period of my life was absolutely and totally beyond value. his positive influence and his engaging spirit towards me and every one of his congregations, i am sure, are what i want to be for my family and for my friends. i miss gerry.

his wife, june, is no less beautiful. every bit as supportive of me and sarah and my ministry while i was on staff, june, to me, felt and continues to feel like huffman united methodist church's matriarch. a passionate supporter and cheerleader, always involved in every outreach, ever willing to share a smile and a hug with a long time member or first time visitor, she's our spoonful of sugar. our silent defender. my friend, donald, has said many times that if june ever asked him to crack some skulls, he wouldn't even think twice before responding with force. she's our mary poppins and our batman all rolled into one. most importantly, when i think of god, i don't picture "jesus laughing" or zeus or some faceless, abstract entity. i think of june hearin, her patient and grace-filled smile that always suggests (to me) she knows what's happening behind the curtain.

i couldn't get june out of my head. and so, i asked sarah what she thought of us dropping amelia and going with june. we'd reattach elizabeth as the middle name. it sounded perfect.

and maybe it was.

it took a little time for sarah to completely adjust. she would finally say that she had been leaning scarlett for a long time, and she needed some space to let the idea of going in another direction sink in.

the clock was working against us, though. fast forward to a week before june arrives and i am sending sarah emails asking her if we can nail down a name. i don't care what the name is (of course, i really did), but i didn't want us to show up not knowing.

sarah decided that we'd play it this way. we would wait 'til the baby was born. if she looked like caroline, we'd go with scarlett. if she looked like hannah, we would go with june.

fast forward to october 18th. the baby, baby, baby girl was born. she favored caroline.

so, scarlett, right?

well, not so fast. after june was born, she asked me what i thought.

"you know what i think."

shortly after, june opens her eyes, her dark blue eyes.

"we can call her june."

"yeah?"

"yeah."

and so it was. three weeks old today, june feels like the only name we should've considered even if it wasn't. she looks like a june. she feels like a june. she is.

june.

at some point when she's older, she'll read this post or hear from her mommy and daddy of the legacy that her name carries. we'll help her fully understand all of the incredible images merely saying her name brings to life inside of both her daddy and her mommy.

welcome to the world, princess june elizabeth.

and welcome to the blog.