this isn't the day to talk about this
(part eight)


anything you can stat-rip, i can stat-rip, bettttaaaa. i can stat-rip anything better than you. no, you can't. yes, i can. no, you can't. yes, i can. no, you can't. yes, i can. yes, i can. yes, i caaaaannn!

i was told that i had a 97% chance of my cancer never returning after it was removed in 2009. 97%. those are pretty good odds, right? statistics would say that i was in the clear. i wasn't. it came back.

i can tell you how many gun deaths this country has suffered just this year.

you can tell me about other countries with gun control laws considered stricter than ours and how those laws have led to more death and not less.

i can tell you about japan.

you can tell me about mexico.

to twenty sets of parents in newtown, statistics don't mean shit. they lost their sons and daughters yesterday because some maniac chose to gun them down in their classroom. statistics would tell them that this kind of thing had less of a chance of happening in their small town than my cancer had a chance of returning to my body. it happened.

and so, now what?

statistically speaking, newtown, specifically sandy hook elementary, is likely to be the safest place on earth from now 'til the end of time. these things hardly ever happen anywhere. they certainly never happen in the same place twice.

i feel better already.