#35
(#ftcs)


dear diary,

i'm hurting today. have been for about a week now. two weeks in to the last couple of cycles, the muscles in my neck and shoulder area have started to revolt against me. i thought i must have slept in a poor position or something. not until i reached my break and everything went back to normal did i realize that it was another fucking symptom of the medicine poisoning my body.

it's worse this time around. the neck and shoulder areas are equally as bad as they were a month ago. taking off my shirt kills. if and when i work out, the muscle feels like it is trying to rip away from my bones. but now the stiffness and pain is climbing down my back and into my legs. as sad as it is, it was really kind of hard to get out of bed this morning.

but, i climbed out of bed this morning.

i got up, because, what the fuck else am i going to do? just lay around all day?

no.

in other news, unless something unexpected pops up on my may scan, i've only got 35 pills left to take.

so, fuck this pain.

and fuck this cancer shit.