guess who's coming to dinner?
(hannah and me, part nineteen)
to some of you, this may be news. to some of you, it is not. or, it's old news. either way i guess it's news. but the point is this. as i type this, somewhere is tuscaloosa, sarah is carrying our second child. she has been serving as such a vessel now for around ten weeks, and "the word" is starting to leak out. when she intially made me aware that there was something afoot (right before christmas), we mutually decided that it would be best to wait a few weeks before making people aware of the occasion. for a few reasons we decided this. one, it was just early. we had not heard a heartbeat. we didn't know for sure that there was only one. among others. as of a week ago friday, we now have seen the little peanut. and we have heard the heartbeat. and we know there's only one. and, so, now we invite all of our family and friends to place the little parasite on your prayer lists. i am having a hard time not wishing this time for a little boy. hearing kiker and andy talk of the impending little league season makes me want for a little boy to mold, but i know in my heart of hearts that my world is perfect now being the father of a beautiful little girl. would it not be even more perfect if there were two? we will find out what to prepare for soon enough. for the time being and the last few weeks, i have thought a lot about how my and sarah's life will be altered with another child added to the mix. the following is a somwhat premeditated, somewhat off the cuff list of things that i am thinking about as it relates to hannah's younger brother/sister...
1) i wonder what i'll do with the url address of this blog. this may seem a trivial place to begin this list, but these are the types of things i think of. hannah and me just rolls off the tongue. but if i don't include the new child somehow, jealousy will ensue and that could very well be the harbinger of hannah waking up years from now with her eyes glued shut. steps will have to be taken to avoid this.
2) will the new child like me? i've grown on hannah by this point, but i do wonder which child will end up being the "daddy's girl" or the "momma's boy" or the "boy that doesn't like football" or the "girl that hates her mommy". hannah hasn't yet shown a lean toward either of us, but when there is competition in her own house for attention, lines will be drawn and sides will be chosen. hopefully, i get the more athletic one and sarah gets the one that throws like a girl (or is a girl, or both).
3) i wonder what diapers are like. how quickly i have chosen to erase this part of hannah's history from my memory. diapers and pull-ups are freakin' disgusting. i mean, really?!?! who craps their pants??? granted, sarah will tell you (and be right) that she changed the lion's share of the diapers, but i remember them enough to know that i didn't like them. maybe this one will come out like a kitty. we'll just show him/her the toilet when we get home from the hospital and not have to worry about diapers at all.
4) i wonder how soon we'll stop asking each other if "we are ready to have have two children". we keep hearing how the biggest adjustment parents have to make is the leap from one to two kids. why? wouldn't the biggest leap be from zero to one? i mean, we've done it all before. it's like the song henry the 8th. second verse, same as the first, right? right?
5) i wonder what it'll feel like for sarah to be pregant on august 10th (due date is aug. 30th) when it's 96 outside and the heat index is like 110. man, that'll suck for her.
6) i wonder how i got to be this lucky and not have to be pregnant or have "times of the month". that is pretty awesome for me.
7) i wonder how weird it'll be to have to go the the "Y" to work out since my workout room will soon be a nursery. i haven't participated in communal workouts since high school, and they weren't very fun then. since in trussville people never really grow out of high school, this is, also, not going to be very fun.
8) i wonder if the new kid will be as cool as hannah. sing fiona apple and kanye west and the format in the car. pick up curse words from his/her dad. own her daycare class. ice-skate in the living room. have rhythm.
9) i wonder what the new one will call marie. it'll have to be maine, right?
10) i wonder if granddaddy and nana will come to this one's birthday parties. i wonder if they'll even be invited.
11) i wonder what it'll feel like to feel my heart grow for this one like it did for hannah. i can't wait for that.
12) i wonder if hannah will realize that babies aren't as durable or flexible or tolerant as kitties.
13) i can't wait for hannah to be a big sister.
hannah, what in the world are we going to do with you? this new arrival is not going to be nearly the culture shock to mommy and daddy as it will be to you. things will be different, but things will be the same. nothing can or will happen that will change you being our first. our baby girl. i'll love our little boy/girl just as much as you, but my string will always be wrapped around your finger. this is going to be fun. and we can't wait to share our new adventure with you.
"i'm henry the 8th, i am. henry the 8th, i am, i am. i got married to the widow next door. she's been married one time before...
second verse! same as the first!"
5 comments:
Congrats! The jump from 1 to 2 the same as from 0 to 1? Keep dreaming, but have fun while you're doing it. I guess now you're a "real" parent in Bill Cosby's definition of the word. Does this mean you're a grown up now?
Although you didn't ask for it, fortunately, I have the answers to all of your questions, which is the price you pay for cheap babysitting:
1)You have a good bit of time before #2 will be able to read, but by then you might also want to edit out the part about wishing for a boy, depending on the outcome.
2)Yes/no, depending on the moment (ditto for all present and future children)
3)Lovely as always; get better diaper container.
4)You're never "ready" for any of them. Don't kid yourself. Personally, though, I don't feel the jump from 1 to 2 is that big; it's the third that got me, but maybe that was just age.
5)It won't be pretty. Good you're so empathetic.
6)Odd...I've always thought how sad it is never to experience growing a baby.
7)Probably as bad as you think. Go at unpopular times. I can wake you up at 5 if you'd like.
8)Yes, but in some totally different ways you can't even imagine.
9)As with Hannah, whatever he/she wants.
10)I might have an answer, but I'll stay out of that one.
11)Wonderful. I am excited for you.
12)You won't believe how much she changes/grows up before August. Anyway, she is practicing on Emma Catherine.
13)Me, too.
thanks for the back-up, kiker and marie!!! i may feel differently come september, but i don't think you'll be able to convince me that having TWO children is a more drastic change than having your first.
kiker, your 2 deep analogy made me laugh out loud!!! that was awesome, and i think spot on! i think the folks that would tell you about what a HUGE leap the second child is/was are the folks that didn't carry much weight with the first. and then, like you said, with man to man, you are forced into making "a play". no longer can you hide "in a zone" (or let your spouse do most of the work). you are called into action. if you aren't willing to/able to do this, then i am sure the second kid feels like an avalanche.
i can't wait for it. am i prepared? lord knows i am surely not. i certainly wasn't for the first. but i have so much more time and energy now, that i think the second time around will be incredible.
thanks for all of the answers/advice, marie. if years worth of wisdom is the only price of cheap babysitting, i can't wait to see what the price of hannah sleeping over is. :)
i am pretty sad that i had to read about this on your blog, but that's okay. exciting none the same.
you are right about hannah having you wrapped around her finger forever, i still have my dad and i always will! ( he won't admit it to anybody else though). i will def be coming home from college to see the new one when it arrives! i'm excited for yall! congrats!!!
I an no expert in multiple children as I stopped with one. (Does that mean I am not a "real" parent?) When you are juggling 2, try thinking of Brad and Kathy with 4. :)
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