so, it's time to pay the piper
(a look back at some preseason predictions)
i could waste your time here talking about the attempted robbery at my store sunday. i could talk about how, for the second time in less than a month, some thug placed a gun near a psp employee's head and threatened them in the hopes of getting money that the thug did not earn or deserve. i could waste your time telling you that i've had a harder time dealing with this one than i did mine. that in the past month i've been telling myself that my robbery was a stand-alone event and that lightning wouldn't strike twice. not at our store. no way. well, the guy with the gun pointed at tiffany's head sunday morning proved my theory and hopes wrong. good for you, fucker. and fuck you for getting away with jack shit this time. i could waste your time with my worries, my insecurities and my ever present feeling of paranoia every time i walk in my parking lot. i could do that, but there are more important things to consider...
the complete waste of time that has been this college football season!!!
hurray! hurray for college football. for alabama football. for none of it making any sense at all but somehow making perfect sense all at the same time. i've had to turn sports-talk radio off this week. all of the rabid alabama fans calling in and talking about the disappointment this season was. how saban isn't earning his money. how mike shula could've gone 6-6. give me a break, people. the best this team was ever going to go was 8-4, and i'll give you that they should have. they should've beaten miss. st. and of course they shoud've beaten la. monroe. but 8-4 would've made you happy? really??? what i take from this season is bama could've beaten the best current team in the sec (georgia) in ot. it destroyed one rival in tennessee. it beat arkansas in spite of mcfadden's brilliance and lost well to lsu and auburn. it's getting rid of team-killer (and best offensive player) dj hall to graduation and welcoming in a top five (top 2 if julio comes) recruiting class for the first time in forever (if ever). the future is bright, folks. you can't wipe years of incompetence away in one season. you just can't. it makes me happy that i will only have to push the "let's wait 'til next year" button one time at the most.
aside from that, you can't make predictions, in my mind, if you aren't willing to pay the piper at the end of the year. let's see how i did (the following comments not in italics are taken from my august 31st post).
- if you believe "the experts" and that usc and their crap-tacular system quarterback is going to go undefeated and win the title this year, i have some land in west virginia to sell you. oh, and on that land will reside the real national champion. quick, name me one guy on usc not named booty. or mcknight. or gable. or turner. your turn. go.
woohoo!!! one for one. usc may be the best team in the country, talent-wise. but their quarterbacks suck and alabama fans know how detrimental that can be to a team. the difference in where usc is, as a program, and alabama? usc's quarterbacks suck and they will still be in a bcs bowl. alabama is 6-6. two years, fans. two years. (and by the way, make sure you notice my national title pick. if they win saturday, they'll be playing for it all in january. two for two??? maybe.)
- if you believe darren mcfadden will win the heisman, you don't know dick (and by dick, i mean the quarterback that will lose the heisman for the best player in the country.).
three for three. the games mcfadden didn't explode in were the games that teams made sure he wasn't going to beat them and casey dick couldn't help. it's a shame. my man tebow's going to win the heisman, but mcfadden can blame that on arkansas' quarterback.
- if you believe lsu is as good as miss. st.'s quarterback made them look last night, tune is next week when they beat va. tech 7-0, touchdown courtesy of the coolest player in the country, trindon holliday.
four for four. they weren't as good as miss. st. or va. tech made them look it turns out. dorsey being hurt was one reason, but the defense was overrated from the start. they couldn't stop andre woodson. couldn't stop mcfadden. two losses. oh well. sucks for them.
- if you believe alabama will go any better than 7-5, please send me what you are smoking. or shooting up. or snorting. no, really. whatever it is, send it to me. i want to live in the same make-believe world as you.
see above. the only win they didn't get that i was giving to them prior to the season was la. monroe. as a fan, i am extremely disappointed. as a prognosticator, i am ecstatic!!! five for five.
- if you believe brandon cox is good enough to win any of auburn's four big road games, well, what can i say? enjoy the delusion. i wish alabama had an oft-injured, really old quarterback that can't throw very hard or run very fast. that would be awesome.
my one miss. five for six. cox was horrible to begin the season, but played well enough to lead his team to an underwhelming 8-4 season. played one great half all year in the first half against florida. be honest, auburn fans. are you sad to see this guy go??? i didn't think so.
- finally, if you don't believe that the only thing that matters is whether julio jones comes to alabama and brings his five star buddies with him, then you can't see the forest for the trees.
i stick to this. losing four straight to end the year hurts. it hurts real bad. i have faith in saban, though. i have faith that he can convince julio that alabama needs a supernova to lead them back to prominence. a supernova to go along with their "star". we'll know in just over a couple months whether bama gets him or not. i am saying here that they do.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
pre-school musical
(hannah and caroline and me)
((part five))
nothing like a little high school musical and high school musical 2 to brighten up what had turned into a somewhat drab thanksgiving weekend. there are things that i look forward to. and then there are things that i look forward to. one of the things in life that now falls into the latter category is thanksgiving dinner. i've mentioned in the blog at least a couple times how much i appreciate being matrimonially tied to a family that takes their thanksgiving seriously. i am not talking about just the food, but the food plays an important role. maybe, in some ways, the food does the talking for the family. the food and the good-byes.
first comes the food. marie travels to georgia the night before the big day because preparing the feast takes a goodly amount of time. and what a feast it is. dressing. turkey. dressing. ham. dressing. sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top. dressing. coca-cola salad. and dressing. the horrible, drab-steering turn to the feast yesterday was that i had the pleasure of tasting all of it twice, and i don't mean because i went back for seconds. for whatever reason, my stomach picked yesterday, of all days, to revolt. before i even finished my first plate-full of heaven could i tell something was off inside me. many trips to the bathroom later began the longest two hours of my life, the car ride home. for two hours i hung on for dear life or the next gas station, whichever came first, as we (seemingly) slowly made our way back to birmingham. as gross as it sounds and as it is, i have never been so happy to throw up in my own home as i was when i got home last night. but i digress. back to the food. when the family shows up together at sarah's aunt's house, things and conversations pick up as if it hasn't been several months since the entire group was communed in one place. catching up is part of the tradition, sure, but it is a means to a greater end. the meal. the prayer happens and then we eat. more conversation happens around the food, but the central focus is the food. it's a distraction of sorts, but a good one. a healthy one. you see, over the course of however many months it's been since the family has all been together, everyone's had their issues. their drama. their life-changing events. some good. some bad. some issues have been with those that were gathered together yesterday around the food. but for a short time, the food comes to the rescue. the food takes the pressure off of who may have upset who else and helps us remember that most of our issues are borderline petty at best. they (we) still love each other when push comes to shove, right? the food reminds us of this. the feast, itself, and it's lengthy preparation makes for a great metaphor. families that live apart, in separate cities, away from each other are "cooking" all year. the pot at the end of the rainbow is the food. the feast. the time to be around each other again. to know everything that pisses us off and makes us unhappy may still be in the back of our mind, but the food makes it ok for a while.
the food and the good-bye's. i wish i could have told either of my grandfathers good-bye. i didn't have that chance. and i can read it on sarah's face every time we leave georgia that she wants to make sure her good-bye with her (very healthy still) grandfather is a good one. one that she won't regret if the fates would have it that it is her last. but not just with grandfathers do good-bye's count. for the first time since i met him, i had not seen joseph in months. i wanted to make sure that he knew that i missed him, and i am sure i did a very poor job of that indeed. i wish that i could tell joan or marie how lucky i feel to be in their family's company, but the cold and the nausea prevented that notion from being an attainable one. i wanted to tell jimmy that his tv rocked. tell rebecca anything other than hello and goodbye. tell christina one more time that caroline (and her parents) said thank you for being so kind and comfortable. tell sarah's granddad that his family is leaving him a legacy that he should be very proud of. most good-byes, those that have any depth to them, always leave a lot to be desired. it's hard to get out "my world wouldn't be the same without you" even though that may be the way we feel.
watching hannah choreograph routines to her own musical tonight made me thankful for the things that so often go unsaid but always are there. right there on the surface. right there that if we could ever find the courage to say them out loud, the reciprocation factor alone could make a person's year, much less day.
until we find that courage, we'll settle for the food. and let the food do the talking for us. the food and the fact that we are there. together. for one day.
happy thanksgiving.
(hannah and caroline and me)
((part five))
nothing like a little high school musical and high school musical 2 to brighten up what had turned into a somewhat drab thanksgiving weekend. there are things that i look forward to. and then there are things that i look forward to. one of the things in life that now falls into the latter category is thanksgiving dinner. i've mentioned in the blog at least a couple times how much i appreciate being matrimonially tied to a family that takes their thanksgiving seriously. i am not talking about just the food, but the food plays an important role. maybe, in some ways, the food does the talking for the family. the food and the good-byes.
first comes the food. marie travels to georgia the night before the big day because preparing the feast takes a goodly amount of time. and what a feast it is. dressing. turkey. dressing. ham. dressing. sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top. dressing. coca-cola salad. and dressing. the horrible, drab-steering turn to the feast yesterday was that i had the pleasure of tasting all of it twice, and i don't mean because i went back for seconds. for whatever reason, my stomach picked yesterday, of all days, to revolt. before i even finished my first plate-full of heaven could i tell something was off inside me. many trips to the bathroom later began the longest two hours of my life, the car ride home. for two hours i hung on for dear life or the next gas station, whichever came first, as we (seemingly) slowly made our way back to birmingham. as gross as it sounds and as it is, i have never been so happy to throw up in my own home as i was when i got home last night. but i digress. back to the food. when the family shows up together at sarah's aunt's house, things and conversations pick up as if it hasn't been several months since the entire group was communed in one place. catching up is part of the tradition, sure, but it is a means to a greater end. the meal. the prayer happens and then we eat. more conversation happens around the food, but the central focus is the food. it's a distraction of sorts, but a good one. a healthy one. you see, over the course of however many months it's been since the family has all been together, everyone's had their issues. their drama. their life-changing events. some good. some bad. some issues have been with those that were gathered together yesterday around the food. but for a short time, the food comes to the rescue. the food takes the pressure off of who may have upset who else and helps us remember that most of our issues are borderline petty at best. they (we) still love each other when push comes to shove, right? the food reminds us of this. the feast, itself, and it's lengthy preparation makes for a great metaphor. families that live apart, in separate cities, away from each other are "cooking" all year. the pot at the end of the rainbow is the food. the feast. the time to be around each other again. to know everything that pisses us off and makes us unhappy may still be in the back of our mind, but the food makes it ok for a while.
the food and the good-bye's. i wish i could have told either of my grandfathers good-bye. i didn't have that chance. and i can read it on sarah's face every time we leave georgia that she wants to make sure her good-bye with her (very healthy still) grandfather is a good one. one that she won't regret if the fates would have it that it is her last. but not just with grandfathers do good-bye's count. for the first time since i met him, i had not seen joseph in months. i wanted to make sure that he knew that i missed him, and i am sure i did a very poor job of that indeed. i wish that i could tell joan or marie how lucky i feel to be in their family's company, but the cold and the nausea prevented that notion from being an attainable one. i wanted to tell jimmy that his tv rocked. tell rebecca anything other than hello and goodbye. tell christina one more time that caroline (and her parents) said thank you for being so kind and comfortable. tell sarah's granddad that his family is leaving him a legacy that he should be very proud of. most good-byes, those that have any depth to them, always leave a lot to be desired. it's hard to get out "my world wouldn't be the same without you" even though that may be the way we feel.
watching hannah choreograph routines to her own musical tonight made me thankful for the things that so often go unsaid but always are there. right there on the surface. right there that if we could ever find the courage to say them out loud, the reciprocation factor alone could make a person's year, much less day.
until we find that courage, we'll settle for the food. and let the food do the talking for us. the food and the fact that we are there. together. for one day.
happy thanksgiving.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
november 16th
(the day the music died)
"They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!"
i will not be making any pre-thanksgiving holiday rants this year about christmas coming too early. why? because i am part of the "machine." the retail machine that cranks out their christmas items earlier and earlier every year. never mind the fact that if people didn't buy the items as soon as they hit the shelves that we wouldn't be having this conversation. it's easier to paint the "machine" as the bad guy in this story, but who feeds the machine? oh yeah. us. anyway, so you'll have to cry a river to someone else this year about not taking time out for thanksgiving or whatever else and not getting too excited about christmas. i'll be busy decorating my store with rawhide shaped like santa claus.
what i will rant about, though, is the christmas music. i'll be honest. i was prepared for local station 96.5 to crank out the holiday tunes sooner than they did this year. but yesterday was the day. at 12:00 noon it happened. one minute i was listening to "american pie", the next it was the god-awful rendition of "o, holy night" by the equally god-awful (just my personal taste, people) josh groban. the musical a-bomb (or the mcrib) hit me like a ton of bricks. i felt my stomach tighten into a knot. i felt my forehead start glistening with sweat. this was it. the beginning of the end. the beginning of the month and a half long march towards december 26th. the day i can be rid of josh groban and have my don mclean back. and my pink. and kelly clarkson. and the beach boys. and blink 182. and matchbox 20. and all the other random, craptacular music we usually get to enjoy on 96.5 or 94.5.
it will not be the "machine" or the mass consumerism of the holidays that will kill my mood. it will be the music. and what's worse is that it's not christmas music, in general, that i don't like. it's that the stations that i will listen to only cycle through 75 or 100 songs for the next 45 days. why is that? i have several christmas albums littered with good and fun songs. are we that into routine as a society that we can only handle the same bing crosby and alabama songs every year? is that what makes our christmas-time? i kind of doubt it. sure, i mean i know it probably tickles our fancy the first time each year we hear mannheim steamroller, but the 50th? i just want to kill somebody.
and back to the whole "machine" killing christmas thing for a second. (disclaimer: i've done a complete 180 on this over the last couple of years.) are we so shallow that we can't do two things at once? we can't, really (???), be thankful for what god has blessed us with this coming week but still have an eye towards the kick-ass month of parties, presents and, oh yeah, the celebration of the birth of jesus (and hannah) that is december? my guess is that we probably can, but it's in our nature to find a spur to put in our boot so we can walk around being pissed off at something. before you say anything, this entire post is as close to the pot calling the kettle black as i'll ever publish. i, for one, love being pissed off. being pissed off makes me happy, if that makes any sense at all. but this year? not this year, not when it comes to christmas starting too early, whatever that even means.
i'll pick up raging against the machine soon enough, but tonight? bring me dressing. bring me presents. bring me that sweet, sweet baby jesus. all at the same time.
but you can keep your paul mccartney and his "wonderful christmastime". songs like these are why god cries.
(the day the music died)
"They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!"
i will not be making any pre-thanksgiving holiday rants this year about christmas coming too early. why? because i am part of the "machine." the retail machine that cranks out their christmas items earlier and earlier every year. never mind the fact that if people didn't buy the items as soon as they hit the shelves that we wouldn't be having this conversation. it's easier to paint the "machine" as the bad guy in this story, but who feeds the machine? oh yeah. us. anyway, so you'll have to cry a river to someone else this year about not taking time out for thanksgiving or whatever else and not getting too excited about christmas. i'll be busy decorating my store with rawhide shaped like santa claus.
what i will rant about, though, is the christmas music. i'll be honest. i was prepared for local station 96.5 to crank out the holiday tunes sooner than they did this year. but yesterday was the day. at 12:00 noon it happened. one minute i was listening to "american pie", the next it was the god-awful rendition of "o, holy night" by the equally god-awful (just my personal taste, people) josh groban. the musical a-bomb (or the mcrib) hit me like a ton of bricks. i felt my stomach tighten into a knot. i felt my forehead start glistening with sweat. this was it. the beginning of the end. the beginning of the month and a half long march towards december 26th. the day i can be rid of josh groban and have my don mclean back. and my pink. and kelly clarkson. and the beach boys. and blink 182. and matchbox 20. and all the other random, craptacular music we usually get to enjoy on 96.5 or 94.5.
it will not be the "machine" or the mass consumerism of the holidays that will kill my mood. it will be the music. and what's worse is that it's not christmas music, in general, that i don't like. it's that the stations that i will listen to only cycle through 75 or 100 songs for the next 45 days. why is that? i have several christmas albums littered with good and fun songs. are we that into routine as a society that we can only handle the same bing crosby and alabama songs every year? is that what makes our christmas-time? i kind of doubt it. sure, i mean i know it probably tickles our fancy the first time each year we hear mannheim steamroller, but the 50th? i just want to kill somebody.
and back to the whole "machine" killing christmas thing for a second. (disclaimer: i've done a complete 180 on this over the last couple of years.) are we so shallow that we can't do two things at once? we can't, really (???), be thankful for what god has blessed us with this coming week but still have an eye towards the kick-ass month of parties, presents and, oh yeah, the celebration of the birth of jesus (and hannah) that is december? my guess is that we probably can, but it's in our nature to find a spur to put in our boot so we can walk around being pissed off at something. before you say anything, this entire post is as close to the pot calling the kettle black as i'll ever publish. i, for one, love being pissed off. being pissed off makes me happy, if that makes any sense at all. but this year? not this year, not when it comes to christmas starting too early, whatever that even means.
i'll pick up raging against the machine soon enough, but tonight? bring me dressing. bring me presents. bring me that sweet, sweet baby jesus. all at the same time.
but you can keep your paul mccartney and his "wonderful christmastime". songs like these are why god cries.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
if you've seen one unicorn, you've seen them all
in my land of make-believe, my self-worth is highly exaggerated. i'd like to tell myself that if i left my store that i couldn't be replaced in two hours like i replaced the last guy. i'd like to believe that if i left my church, my loss would be felt in the same way we mourn (or celebrate) when our senior pastor is appointed elsewhere. i consider sometimes that if i went away my friends and teammates would not have the same outlets and opportunities to play softball and basketball and flag-football as i present to them by them knowing me. all of these thoughts are completely ridiculous. i am as expendable as the next guy in every lot of my life, the exception, maybe, being my importance to my wife and children and my closest friends.
please don't get me wrong. i am not feeling sorry for myself. i think my perspective is continuing to evolve from the circumstances surrounding october 27th. three separate conversations at church this morning have thrown my thoughts and my mood into a whirling-dervish of ups and downs and in-betweens. the first involved a sunday school class discussion going back and forth between being future-forward and positive vs. admonishing the neglect of our church toward it's last 15 years. one conversation made me realize that i was still too close to some forests to be able to see the trees. and the third ended with an implication that i may want to look for an opportunity above and beyond being the general manager of a pet store.
all three conversations were worth their own journal entry and may still give birth to a later post, but i'll focus on the latter one today. the comment that i can't shake from my brain was very sincere and innocent. maybe they knew of my being robbed and thought that i was looking for a way out of being employed in huffman. maybe they knew how much i loved, on the whole, working for a church and figured retail was below me. maybe there were other motives that i wasn't picking up on, but why would i not want to be exactly where i am today? primarily accountable for a reputable business in the middle of the community where i grew up. employed two minutes away from the church and daycare that my daughters spend the majority of their weeks. responsible for hiring, firing and molding a staff made up of young people that, whether they know it or not, are being ministered to by me. in contact with upwards of 200 or more customers every day that live, speak, breathe and talk about what is important to them (and their pet) in the community that my church hopes to serve. until this morning, i wondered if i were to draw up my ideal situation of livelihood as it concerns my family and spiritual journey if i could come up with anything better than where i am now.
maybe i could. maybe i couldn't. maybe i am rationalizing to make myself feel better. maybe i am living more in my land of make-believe than i would like to imagine.
but i like my land of make-believe. and i bet you like yours too. it's what keeps us going. energized. afoot with the thought that no matter how puny and insignificant in the grand plan and history of the universe we might be, we, too, can make a difference. that we can own the crazy-ass hand that life will always deal us, roll with the punches and stick to what we think god thinks is important. it's tough sledding some days, some mornings. the reality of another person's perception of who you are, who you might be and what you may want to change is a hard pill to swallow. but it goes down eventually and comes out, we hope, as continuing education in the school of life. i wasn't slighted this morning. it just tasted that way. and i appreciate that someone felt i was worth having the conversation with in the first place.
here's to unicorns.
in my land of make-believe, my self-worth is highly exaggerated. i'd like to tell myself that if i left my store that i couldn't be replaced in two hours like i replaced the last guy. i'd like to believe that if i left my church, my loss would be felt in the same way we mourn (or celebrate) when our senior pastor is appointed elsewhere. i consider sometimes that if i went away my friends and teammates would not have the same outlets and opportunities to play softball and basketball and flag-football as i present to them by them knowing me. all of these thoughts are completely ridiculous. i am as expendable as the next guy in every lot of my life, the exception, maybe, being my importance to my wife and children and my closest friends.
please don't get me wrong. i am not feeling sorry for myself. i think my perspective is continuing to evolve from the circumstances surrounding october 27th. three separate conversations at church this morning have thrown my thoughts and my mood into a whirling-dervish of ups and downs and in-betweens. the first involved a sunday school class discussion going back and forth between being future-forward and positive vs. admonishing the neglect of our church toward it's last 15 years. one conversation made me realize that i was still too close to some forests to be able to see the trees. and the third ended with an implication that i may want to look for an opportunity above and beyond being the general manager of a pet store.
all three conversations were worth their own journal entry and may still give birth to a later post, but i'll focus on the latter one today. the comment that i can't shake from my brain was very sincere and innocent. maybe they knew of my being robbed and thought that i was looking for a way out of being employed in huffman. maybe they knew how much i loved, on the whole, working for a church and figured retail was below me. maybe there were other motives that i wasn't picking up on, but why would i not want to be exactly where i am today? primarily accountable for a reputable business in the middle of the community where i grew up. employed two minutes away from the church and daycare that my daughters spend the majority of their weeks. responsible for hiring, firing and molding a staff made up of young people that, whether they know it or not, are being ministered to by me. in contact with upwards of 200 or more customers every day that live, speak, breathe and talk about what is important to them (and their pet) in the community that my church hopes to serve. until this morning, i wondered if i were to draw up my ideal situation of livelihood as it concerns my family and spiritual journey if i could come up with anything better than where i am now.
maybe i could. maybe i couldn't. maybe i am rationalizing to make myself feel better. maybe i am living more in my land of make-believe than i would like to imagine.
but i like my land of make-believe. and i bet you like yours too. it's what keeps us going. energized. afoot with the thought that no matter how puny and insignificant in the grand plan and history of the universe we might be, we, too, can make a difference. that we can own the crazy-ass hand that life will always deal us, roll with the punches and stick to what we think god thinks is important. it's tough sledding some days, some mornings. the reality of another person's perception of who you are, who you might be and what you may want to change is a hard pill to swallow. but it goes down eventually and comes out, we hope, as continuing education in the school of life. i wasn't slighted this morning. it just tasted that way. and i appreciate that someone felt i was worth having the conversation with in the first place.
here's to unicorns.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Friday, November 09, 2007
burn, piano island, burn
so, for the second time is as many years, the end-ish of a year also marks the end of one of my favorite all-time bands, the blood brothers. it was october of 2006 when i waxed as poetic as i could about what i didn't know at the time would be the brothers' final album. the album couldn't have been a better and more consistent listen from the first track to the last. the last song on the record is called 'the giant swan'. i now wonder if they were prophesying it being their swan song. maybe they weren't at the time. maybe they were. who knows.
two years ago it was bearvsshark that called it quits. if i were to put together a list of my favorite bands of the last ten years (the period in my life that is more defined by music than any other span), it would go like this. 3. bearvsshark 2. brand new. 1. blood brothers. through attrition, brand new is the only one that remains. as weird and disconnected as brand new's frontman can be, it wouldn't suprise me in the slightest if i heard tomorrow or ten years from now that brand new was calling it a day.
i don't know if my ramblings here on in person ever turned anyone other than andy on to the blood brothers. their sound is and was far from accessible. you absolutely could not and can not decipher most of their lyrics without the liner notes in front of you. if you don't like loud, you won't like the blood brothers. if you don't like using your imagination to paint your own picture on top of the musical canvas that they lay out for you, you won't like the blood brothers. they had a unique ability to write a pop song and layer in with so much noise and frenzy that it didn't hit you until about the fifth time through that you were listening the the hardcore equivalent to justin timberlake. alright...alright. that may be stretching it a little, but this is my own little last ditch effort, my own eulogy written in the hopes that you'll consider spinning a blood brothers album sometime before you die or sometime before you lose all your angst, whichever comes first.
so, farewell blood brothers. farewell and good day. may your creative juices continue to spill forth and somehow make their way into my ears. and if they do not, thank you for the good times you have given me and the good music you left for me to enjoy.
love, indeed, rhymes with hideous car wreck.
so, for the second time is as many years, the end-ish of a year also marks the end of one of my favorite all-time bands, the blood brothers. it was october of 2006 when i waxed as poetic as i could about what i didn't know at the time would be the brothers' final album. the album couldn't have been a better and more consistent listen from the first track to the last. the last song on the record is called 'the giant swan'. i now wonder if they were prophesying it being their swan song. maybe they weren't at the time. maybe they were. who knows.
two years ago it was bearvsshark that called it quits. if i were to put together a list of my favorite bands of the last ten years (the period in my life that is more defined by music than any other span), it would go like this. 3. bearvsshark 2. brand new. 1. blood brothers. through attrition, brand new is the only one that remains. as weird and disconnected as brand new's frontman can be, it wouldn't suprise me in the slightest if i heard tomorrow or ten years from now that brand new was calling it a day.
i don't know if my ramblings here on in person ever turned anyone other than andy on to the blood brothers. their sound is and was far from accessible. you absolutely could not and can not decipher most of their lyrics without the liner notes in front of you. if you don't like loud, you won't like the blood brothers. if you don't like using your imagination to paint your own picture on top of the musical canvas that they lay out for you, you won't like the blood brothers. they had a unique ability to write a pop song and layer in with so much noise and frenzy that it didn't hit you until about the fifth time through that you were listening the the hardcore equivalent to justin timberlake. alright...alright. that may be stretching it a little, but this is my own little last ditch effort, my own eulogy written in the hopes that you'll consider spinning a blood brothers album sometime before you die or sometime before you lose all your angst, whichever comes first.
so, farewell blood brothers. farewell and good day. may your creative juices continue to spill forth and somehow make their way into my ears. and if they do not, thank you for the good times you have given me and the good music you left for me to enjoy.
love, indeed, rhymes with hideous car wreck.
Friday, November 02, 2007
turning 31
(hannah and caroline and me)
((part four))
caroline is asleep upstairs. it's 7:55 a.m. right now.
technically, i've already started my first official daddy/daughter day at home with her, but it doesn't feel like it yet. after i finish here, i'll go wake her up and we'll start our day. we need to go to the store for a few minutes to talk with kathy. sometime around midday, we'll go have lunch with mommy and visit with the folks in her office. we may do a little more visiting after that. we'll just have to wait and see. i am happy right now at the thought of hanging out with her. i know mommy is sad that she had to go back to work yesterday, but things are going to be just fine i think. it's probably good that i am posting now, when she is so calm and peaceful and not at the end of the day when i can't get her to stop screaming. maybe that won't happen. maybe...
since my last post, the week has been pretty busy. putting last saturday behind me has been difficult in a lot of ways. if i let my mind wander, it immediately takes me back to that morning. to that guy. and to that gun. leave it to my resident eternal pessimist, kiker, to e-mail me monday morning and tell me that the softball team could have been preparing for a funeral instead of a game this week. truth be told, that thought was pulled from the middle of a really sweet note, but my reaction was, "shit. you are right." people get held up all the time. mugged. even worse. and the easiest way to deal with it happening so much is to not pay attention to it. but i can't help but have a new and enlightened respect for someone that's gone through an experience similar to mine. even if their's was also non-violent, it's as vulnerable as a human being can feel if they aren't already facing something life-threatening.
31 isn't supposed to be a very important or noteworthy birthday. nothing big happens. no surprise parties to celebrate entering a new decade of life. i don't feel older. less agile. less aware. less relevant. 31 is supposed to be a birthday that's celebrated within the family and acknowledged by friends, but you don't scrapbook turning 31 as much as you just affirm it as a means to some end. for me, turning 31 was different than it should've been, probably for all the wrong reasons. i felt very lucky to have my wife. my daughters. my friends that, bar none, when i told them about saturday, made sure that i was ok first and foremost. i should feel lucky for all of those things everyday, but i don't. or didn't. most days, i take them for granted.
you know what's the biggest shame? this time next week, i may be taking all of my treasures for granted again. i am going to try not to, but there's a chance it will happen. things will be busy at work. i'll have my head too deep into what's going on at the church. i'll be pissed off. and i'll take it out on the people that i shouldn't. this past tuesday, though? the nondescript birthday-of-a-day that i turned 31? on that day, i did not. take my treasures for granted that is. and my birthday wish was that on most days, i could maintain that focus.
that is my birthday wish and my prayer this morning. i am glad that caroline allowed me to start today like this. with some time to myself. with some time to write a reminder to be calm later today when she gets fussy. with some time to soak in how lucky i am to have a day like this.
i am coming upstairs to wake you up, (baby) baby girl. don't be too pissed.
(hannah and caroline and me)
((part four))
caroline is asleep upstairs. it's 7:55 a.m. right now.
technically, i've already started my first official daddy/daughter day at home with her, but it doesn't feel like it yet. after i finish here, i'll go wake her up and we'll start our day. we need to go to the store for a few minutes to talk with kathy. sometime around midday, we'll go have lunch with mommy and visit with the folks in her office. we may do a little more visiting after that. we'll just have to wait and see. i am happy right now at the thought of hanging out with her. i know mommy is sad that she had to go back to work yesterday, but things are going to be just fine i think. it's probably good that i am posting now, when she is so calm and peaceful and not at the end of the day when i can't get her to stop screaming. maybe that won't happen. maybe...
since my last post, the week has been pretty busy. putting last saturday behind me has been difficult in a lot of ways. if i let my mind wander, it immediately takes me back to that morning. to that guy. and to that gun. leave it to my resident eternal pessimist, kiker, to e-mail me monday morning and tell me that the softball team could have been preparing for a funeral instead of a game this week. truth be told, that thought was pulled from the middle of a really sweet note, but my reaction was, "shit. you are right." people get held up all the time. mugged. even worse. and the easiest way to deal with it happening so much is to not pay attention to it. but i can't help but have a new and enlightened respect for someone that's gone through an experience similar to mine. even if their's was also non-violent, it's as vulnerable as a human being can feel if they aren't already facing something life-threatening.
31 isn't supposed to be a very important or noteworthy birthday. nothing big happens. no surprise parties to celebrate entering a new decade of life. i don't feel older. less agile. less aware. less relevant. 31 is supposed to be a birthday that's celebrated within the family and acknowledged by friends, but you don't scrapbook turning 31 as much as you just affirm it as a means to some end. for me, turning 31 was different than it should've been, probably for all the wrong reasons. i felt very lucky to have my wife. my daughters. my friends that, bar none, when i told them about saturday, made sure that i was ok first and foremost. i should feel lucky for all of those things everyday, but i don't. or didn't. most days, i take them for granted.
you know what's the biggest shame? this time next week, i may be taking all of my treasures for granted again. i am going to try not to, but there's a chance it will happen. things will be busy at work. i'll have my head too deep into what's going on at the church. i'll be pissed off. and i'll take it out on the people that i shouldn't. this past tuesday, though? the nondescript birthday-of-a-day that i turned 31? on that day, i did not. take my treasures for granted that is. and my birthday wish was that on most days, i could maintain that focus.
that is my birthday wish and my prayer this morning. i am glad that caroline allowed me to start today like this. with some time to myself. with some time to write a reminder to be calm later today when she gets fussy. with some time to soak in how lucky i am to have a day like this.
i am coming upstairs to wake you up, (baby) baby girl. don't be too pissed.
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