november 16th
(the day the music died)


"They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!"

i will not be making any pre-thanksgiving holiday rants this year about christmas coming too early. why? because i am part of the "machine." the retail machine that cranks out their christmas items earlier and earlier every year. never mind the fact that if people didn't buy the items as soon as they hit the shelves that we wouldn't be having this conversation. it's easier to paint the "machine" as the bad guy in this story, but who feeds the machine? oh yeah. us. anyway, so you'll have to cry a river to someone else this year about not taking time out for thanksgiving or whatever else and not getting too excited about christmas. i'll be busy decorating my store with rawhide shaped like santa claus.

what i will rant about, though, is the christmas music. i'll be honest. i was prepared for local station 96.5 to crank out the holiday tunes sooner than they did this year. but yesterday was the day. at 12:00 noon it happened. one minute i was listening to "american pie", the next it was the god-awful rendition of "o, holy night" by the equally god-awful (just my personal taste, people) josh groban. the musical a-bomb (or the mcrib) hit me like a ton of bricks. i felt my stomach tighten into a knot. i felt my forehead start glistening with sweat. this was it. the beginning of the end. the beginning of the month and a half long march towards december 26th. the day i can be rid of josh groban and have my don mclean back. and my pink. and kelly clarkson. and the beach boys. and blink 182. and matchbox 20. and all the other random, craptacular music we usually get to enjoy on 96.5 or 94.5.

it will not be the "machine" or the mass consumerism of the holidays that will kill my mood. it will be the music. and what's worse is that it's not christmas music, in general, that i don't like. it's that the stations that i will listen to only cycle through 75 or 100 songs for the next 45 days. why is that? i have several christmas albums littered with good and fun songs. are we that into routine as a society that we can only handle the same bing crosby and alabama songs every year? is that what makes our christmas-time? i kind of doubt it. sure, i mean i know it probably tickles our fancy the first time each year we hear mannheim steamroller, but the 50th? i just want to kill somebody.

and back to the whole "machine" killing christmas thing for a second. (disclaimer: i've done a complete 180 on this over the last couple of years.) are we so shallow that we can't do two things at once? we can't, really (???), be thankful for what god has blessed us with this coming week but still have an eye towards the kick-ass month of parties, presents and, oh yeah, the celebration of the birth of jesus (and hannah) that is december? my guess is that we probably can, but it's in our nature to find a spur to put in our boot so we can walk around being pissed off at something. before you say anything, this entire post is as close to the pot calling the kettle black as i'll ever publish. i, for one, love being pissed off. being pissed off makes me happy, if that makes any sense at all. but this year? not this year, not when it comes to christmas starting too early, whatever that even means.

i'll pick up raging against the machine soon enough, but tonight? bring me dressing. bring me presents. bring me that sweet, sweet baby jesus. all at the same time.

but you can keep your paul mccartney and his "wonderful christmastime". songs like these are why god cries.