"when jesus does cool shit, it’s called a miracle, but when tebow does cool shit it’s called hot-dogging. double standard. i consider jesus one of the biggest hot-doggers of all time. 'watch me walk on water because i’m the son of god.'"
(part two)


so, does this mean the holy trinity just became a quartet?

i suspect that it does. i have never heard an athlete give more props to the man upstairs than superman did last night. not that it's a bad thing. not at all. it just rings so weird to me. i didn't know before tebow's docu-piece last night that a doctor had recommended to his parents that, for the mother's own well-being while dreadfully sick, tebow should be aborted. but tebow would not have it. already in communion with powers we regular humans cannot understand, baby tebow told his father from inside the womb to pray harder, which the father did. not only was tebow born, but he was born into a world that did not, previous to last night, believe that underclassmen could win an award as prestigious as the heisman trophy. the doubters now believe. he was born into a world where college quarterbacks could not run for 20 touchdowns and throw for 20 touchdowns in the same season. they now can. he was born into a world that dictated to the young man that for you to be considered a "mobile quarterback", you had to be black or steve young. not anymore. because of tim tebow, it's now ok for white people to be athletic. god bless you, indeed, tim tebow for changing this world for the better.

and damn you to hell, darren mcfadden for not being tim tebow. for not being as outspoken with your god-fearingness. and you, colt brennan, for looking like a douchebag with your fancy passing stats and records. and you, chase daniel, for not being as handsome or as good as the tim tebow you are trying to be. damn you all...right?

i mean, i don't want to be too hypocritical of espn and their collective man-love for tim tebow. but if those other three guys in the room up for the award didn't feel like dirt as they left, they are more firm in their foundation than i would have been in their shoes. the ceremony ended with lee corso and kirk herbstreit agreeing that every parent in the country should wish their child grew up to be like tim tebow (or something like that). this was not confirmed with the families mcfadden, brennan and daniel, but i have to believe that they might have something to say about that.

hero worship is a tricky and thin line to balance on. and that includes worshipping the g-o-d, himself. for, what hope does tim tebow's success allow for people not fortunate enough to own a direct line to jesus? any? a little? a bunch? i mean, i am always in favor of a young person sharing their faith with as many people as possible. being thankful for the gifts that god has given them. shouting their graciousness from the mountaintops (or in front of the cameras). but what if tebow (or any athlete/actor/regular joe) were aware enough to share his faith and a need that their stature could help fill?

"tim, you just won the heisman trophy. what are you feeling?"

"man, i don't know what to say. i do want to give thanks to my lord and savior, jesus christ, and i want those that care to know that the children's place of huffman united methodist church could really use your financial support. the number there is 205-833-7636. christians and non-christians, alike, if you wanna be like tim tebow, you'll wanna give lots of your money and time to the children's place."

"uh. ok, tim. thanks."

or something like that. let's face it. everyone in espn's audience last night knows who jesus is (or is supposed to be). and they also know (because they watch a lot of sports) that thanking god after a game or after something good happens to an athlete has become cliche'. just doing it doesn't carry any weight any more. it's almost become annoying. and yes, i know that opinion is sad, but it's a solid opinion regardless.

rather than just name-dropping, before next season, maybe superman can find some depth to go along with all that praise. maybe he can find a way to use his tremendously large platform for good rather than setting himself up to be a punchline or a caricature.

if he can do that, i truly will have his baby.