how i got old


today used to be a holiday for me. i'd wait with anticipation. i'd soak in all the commercials. i'd get excited months ago when the cover boy was announced. i'd play a little ncaa to whet my appetite. i wouldn't go so far as to be at wal-mart at midnight, but sometime during the day of release, i would pick up the newest version of madden. and i would play. for hours on top of hours i would play. just exhibition games, mind you. i wouldn't start a full season until (real) pre-season games were over and done with. and then it was on. my first season would be with the falcons. that would take all of a week. then i'd play a season with whichever team i was all about at the time. then i'd draft a fantasy team and play a bizarro season. rinse. and repeat.

then i got old.

then i went and did something stupid like give away my playstation. and since christmas of 2006, i haven't picked up a gaming controller. every year, around this time, i start to get "the itch" again. it's like a drug. at some point, i can't remember when, the playstation memory card would keep track of how much time one spent playing the games that you were using the card with. i wish i could remember the year and the specifics of my most ridiculous tally, but i can't. if i had them in front of me, i'd either be really ashamed or really proud. probably the latter.

most days, it's easy to rationalize not having a system. since the day i gave my playstation 2 away, i've been telling myself that i wouldn't have enough time in any given day to justify the cost of having a ps3. most days, i trust that judgement to be the best for myself and my family. i am sure the girls appreciate (even if they don't know that they do) my rational (and "grown-up") side having matured. on days like today, though, when everyone on espn is talking about madden and i remember how much a part of my life during the football season it used to be, i get kind of sad.

once the real games start, i'll get over it. i've replaced part of my yearning for that game(s) with a new one - fantasy. and that draft is only a few short weeks away.

my favorite commercial on tv right now is one that is running on espn pimping fantasy football. it's got a regular joe out in the yard talking with and high-fiving an imaginary packers running back, ryan grant, while a kid looks on wondering what the crap is going on. for a couple days, if you happen upon me sitting on the couch, staring at a tv that isn't on with an imaginary controller in my hands only to see me erupt in anger, throw down the imaginary controller and find a cat to kick (or throw)...

just let it go.