...so, does the metaphor still work if they've never had glasses? oh, what the hell! let's go with it!


disclaimer:

yes, absolutely i am. of course i am. who wouldn't be? i am more than stoked. i am trying to transition to "it's only the first game" mode as we speak, but i just haven't gotten there yet. if you'll excuse the hyperbole for just a minute, though, thank you. my gut reaction to last night is this. if this season, looking back five years from now, is seen as the one that alabama became ALABAMA again, marquis maze's "the non-catch" should very well go down in bama history with the same romantic hindsight as george teague's "strip that never happened". through one game, it defines everything that is and has changed from last season to this one. there was not a player on the active roster last year that makes that catch. this year? there are probably four. last year? there were zero guys on the offensive side of the ball that made defenses squirm and gameplan around. as evidenced by last night, this year bama has at least two true freshmen that may end up being gamechangers. last year? there was no mount saint cody at nosetackle. this year? holy christ. you can't really miss big number 62. last year? alabama's season picked up momentum when they hung on to beat arkansas but still let darren mcfadden run for 200 yards. this year? alabama dominated the "best running back tandem. ever" and left no doubt as to whether or not the better team actually won. it's one game. you are right. but it was one helluva game.

back to earth...

since the last time i jotted down anything here concerning the church, i was asked to consider myself as a candidate for the vacant associate pastor helper position, empty since father's day (i respectfully removed my name from the list...reasons coming in a later post...or later on in this one...who knows). also, things are beginning to get a little more hairy with the hispanic ministry congregation that is making themselves quite at home on the campus of huffman united methodist church. other than that, things are pretty much the same. we are still being urged to be "disciples in action: making and growing disciples". we are still pretty unsure, on the whole, of what the hell that means. sunday school classes are complaining about homeless people (er, bhn) dropping spaghetti on their fancy sunday school class carpet. we are in the middle of updating the entrance of our education building with a welcome and information center and painting the walls a newer shade of beige (along with an edgy, but "faaaabuuulouuuus", black trim). you know, the usual stuff.

this week we also published a letter from our bishop grouping us into a collection of churches that are failing because we "have decided to die". that's a pretty simple diagnosis i suppose. i am pretty sure putting the majority of the blame on the churches, themselves, rather than an old-time-y and outdated appointment system and infrastructure is a symptom of a greater problem. but, then again, what do i know? i guess we'll just buy into this natural church development nonsense and continue to not focus on huffman(umc), instead focusing on how other churches have benefited from buying into the "program". more to come on this as i continue to collect my thoughts...

i feel like i know what some of you must be thinking. "why so negative, kevin? damn, you're such a wet blanket. why don't you focus on the positive, you cynical bastard?" and i admit it. i am thinking the same thing. but, here's the thing. i can't think of any one thing positive, at least not one on a grand enough, corporate scale that would lend me to legitimately consider inviting one of my own friends to humc. am i missing something? is it just my bad attitude that i share only with myself? or am i onto something that is lurking right below the surface in a lot of sunday school groups and in watercooler-type conversations all around our halls that are being shared with a couple here and a couple there but still haven't reached the point of critical mass? i'd invite someone to my sunday school class, but a new member, if not forewarned with a detailed back-story, would quickly get the impression that someone is dragging us to the church in handcuffs. i would invite someone to a "church" softball game, because that event is far enough away from our sunday morning baggage and hispanic backlash that it wouldn't completely poison the "visitor's" idea of our church upon first glance. i'd invite them to walk around the church with me my one week out of every month and i could share great stories of great times that continue to fuel my want to be attached to my church, even if it's walking around the outside of it, locking the doors after everyone has left the building (um. that would probably preach.). and that's about it right now. and that's about sad.

are there other ministries in the church that are doing good things? sure. our role in bhn is still going strong. the choir is still doing their thing. the children's place has started it's bounce back from rock bottom. olga's still "the man." but shouldn't there be more? shouldn't we have an idea of why all of these ministries exist? why they should be maintained? why we should care outside of the context of "the great commision" and inside the context of how we should be serving our community in the year 2008? of course we should.

but, we don't. and that, dear bishop, is why we are in decline. do not question our effing commitment! it is vision we lack. it is vision that we crave. it is vision and the mission that follows that vision that will lead us back to where we once were. to life. to caring again. to relevancy. and that relevancy, that vision starts with the head of our church, local. and that starts with you, bishop, the man responsible for feeding our heads of our churches this natural church development bullcrap.

huffman, it is not you that i am upset with. i completely agree with what sarah stated as we were processing how this morning fit into huffman's greater problems. our system is killing us. the caretakers of our system are failing. and there is no one, currently, that can hear our screams. i love being a methodist. in theory, there is something beautiful and fluid and accountable about the beliefs and ideas and ideals that define us. currently, we are not operating like a methodist church.

and that, chip, is my "big idea". it's not new. it's not revolutionary. it is what it is.

i want us to be methodist again. i want us to understand the love of jesus through the way we see our defined graces. i want us to tithe to our system, our idea. i want us to be ok with the appointments we receive because we are, by definition, welcoming and flexible. i want us to be open-minded and open-hearted and open-door-ed. i want us to be able to see the forest and not just the hispanics trees. i want these things for my church. i want them for myself.

our bishop would tell you he wants these things too. so would our senior pastor. and our two senior pastors before that. and they might mean those words. but their actions indicate to me (in my most humble and definitely could be wrong opinion) that their idea of what and who we are has been corrupted somehow. perverted. altered. skewed. and until someone convinces me that i missed the chapter on revitalizing grace, i will believe this.

the good news is that i am ready to write about church again. the bad news is that there is (close to) nothing good to report.

yet.

there are still good people at huffman. the confusion in the air is dense, though. and the forecast is for more of the same. what to do? either "they" change or we change and then we change them (damn, that sounds familiar). it's our move.

but then again, it always has been.