Round One...ding
"Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?" -silent bob
how many people in this world know you? i mean, truly know you? know, know you. from the inside out. i think i could count the number of those people in my life on one hand and one of those can't really talk yet. i've talked about this out loud before. with the group. we didn't have time to get very deep. that was probably for the best. the deeper, the sadder. my parents aren't even close to being counted on that one hand, and i've grown to like it that way. i used to want them to know more, but when i realized they didn't really care, i gave up. they don't want to know...
...and neither do you. do you? but that's ok.
...i do love my friends. i do love those that care about me. i do love those that i care about.
...i give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but i am cynical. more now than ever.
i use bad language a lot. i hope that's ok. you'll see it here. i'll see it here.
so, is it good or bad? the whole people not knowing me/you thing. i don't know. what would i want them to know. the bad stuff? probably not. this subject will come up a lot. it rears it's head to me often.
jab, jab, dance, jab. he's feeling this thing out. it's a fighter's fight. jab, jab, dance...
ding.
3 comments:
Kevin, your journal entries are a lot more...whats the word I'm looking for...fluent? Well you know it might be because I'm not as good a writer as you, but a ypical entry from me is something like, "well I went to class today, man my life is boring. It sure is cold outside." Now my journal entries arent like that because I dont have problems with my life. I think that they are like that because I dont think about my problems. Probably not very healthy, but I forget stuff when I sit down at my computer. Anyway, I dont know where I was going with this.
Why do I always end up looking at your journal at 1:30 in the morning? I have a really bad habit with that. Welp, see ya.
Actually, it's all capitalized the same. I'm sure anyone would be able to figure it out just how we write differently. It was kind of funny when I look at it though. I was like, "hey I didnt write that!" Hhaha whatever.
is it good or bad? i would say unfortunate, but perhaps necessary. necessary because there are many people that if they knew your faults and struggles, they would use those against you, to build themselves up or to tear you down. unfortunate because as followers of Jesus, truly knowing someone is the essence of the gospel lived out in community. of all people, we should know each other and love each other anyway, knowing that we are collectively and individually a damn mess, but that if the gospel is true, we can be known beyond our damn-messiness. but how far is that from my church experience? we put up a facade in front of those we should be most vulnerable to. makes me feel like i may never have been a part of a real, what-God-wants church. like the "churches" i've been a part of were just country clubs with a religious mascot.
Post a Comment