a very bearvsshark christmas
hannah and me (part four)

i mentioned in my last post the passing of what was my favorite band, bearvsshark. the loss still stings a little bit. i love counting the months/days down 'til one of my favorite bands will release their next record, and i hate that i won't be able to do that with bearvsshark again, but that's ok. there are plenty of other bands in the sea (half-pun intended), and i'll move on. bearvsshark's label released several eulogies from staff people and folks that were around the band and one of the laments stood out to me as very appropriate and timely. this is just a paraphrase, but one of the comments was something like, "...played every show as is they had something to prove." i thought this hit the nail on the head. there was an urgency to their music and most definitely to their live show that i was lucky enough to see once. you could feel it. it was palpable. whether or not this feeling of having something to prove was an actual motivation is a question that only the band could answer, but it got me thinking...

christmas is over. it's december 26th. christmas day was extremely busy and hectic with the exception of about an hour and a half. we seemed to be running about a half-hour late all day, but it was never too bad. hannah's first real "santa" experience was wonderful. from her kitchen to her vacuum to her baby to all the other stuff, i think she was pleased. her parents were. her birthday party was great (thanks, jennifer). the rest of the day had it's highs and lows, but no real valley lows, so that was good. any sorts of lows could be atrributed to everyone being busy or feeling busy or feeling stretched a little too far. no real worries, though. dressing was served. so were sweet potatoes with marshmellows. what a surprise. what a present (one of the best of the day). i think next christmas may be a little less busy with new "traditions" taking the place of old and uncomfortable ones. i hope so, anyway. one day removed and one day into the reflection, it was a good day. a real good day...

it's december 26th, and the church that i am working for took a really hard blow today. not a killshot, but an uprotected left hook to the body at the very least. i feel bad for chris. it's his second of these. who knows what it will mean for common ground. who knows what it will mean for me. it will mean something, but i'll figure it out in time. my take? here where i push the buttons, i think the person is chickenshit and a hypocrite and is hiding behind her daughter. judgemental? yep. i don't even know the person and their personal life is more stressful than i would ever want to know. but that's ok. if you can't be honest, you can at least be dishonest. maybe more on this later...

christmas and the bad news and bearvsshark got me thinking. what should my new year's resolution be. the one that i will fail at time after time, but that i will try and make my theme for this coming year and the ones after that. i think it will be that i would like to live every day like i have something to prove. prove that i am the best father for hannah. the best husband. the best manager at coldstone (for as long as that lasts). the best part of common ground (the same). the best friend. the best example of jesus that someone may see on a given day. the bar will be high, and i will not jump high enough on some days. but this, one week early, is my resolution. my goal. my want.

my prayer.