believe it or not, i'm walking on air...
"how are you doing"
"shitty."
"..."
"wait a second. where are you going? let me explain."


i sang the cheers theme song yesterday in church as our "call to worship". great, great song. easily, it would rank as one of the top five tv theme songs of my lifetime. i think, off the top of my head, my list would go: 5) sesame street, 4) charles in charge, 3) the wonder years (granted, not an original written for the show itself, but for my generation, directly identified as the theme song for this awesome show.), 2) cheers, 1) the greatest american hero. god, i love that theme song. i could still sing it at the top of my lungs at the drop of a hat. the urge to sing it just hits me sometimes. i remember singing at the top of my lungs with chris hicks in the outfield during our first humc softball practice at huffman ballpark. good times. god, i love that song.

it's a good song for today. my baby girl is healing and becoming more and more herself after her long day on friday. a day that started with an innocent enough trip to the pediatrician, and a day that ended with her going under the knife for one day surgery on a staph infection at children's hospital. she came through the procedure like a champ, but she has a serious hole in her backside that is pretty unnerving for both mommy and daddy. but she's ok, and she'll go back to school this week.

chris preached a great sermon on community yesterday and challenged us to think about how often we really care about those that we greet with, "how are you doing?" i say it between 25 and 50 times a day at my job, and the challenge hit home with some sting. most times i ask, i cringe if anyone offers more than, "fine, thanks." that's all i want. it's just a little more elaborate than saying, "hello.", but i don't really want to know. do i? maybe sometimes. but most likely, not very many times. i have my own shit. my own family. my own sick baby girl. my own friends to care about and worry about. why should i worry about yours? well, idiot, because Jesus asks me to. i realize this fully on an intellectual level and want to act it out, but i have the hardest freakin' time with it.

i, oftentimes, put myself in the precarious position of wanting more of an intellectual relationship with my God rather than an emotional one. people that raise their hands and "amen" all the time freak me out. give me content. i don't want any more mindless praise and worship. but it's not the intellectual that sends me into these reflections usually, but some sort of emotional trigger that reminds me that the next person that walks into coldstone isn't going to give a shit if i greet them with some deep philosophical bullshit that keeps me up at night. but if i smile, geniunely smile and then listen if they actually answer my question with more than a "fine, thanks.", i'll leave a better impression than they may get all day.

...i'm flying away on a wing and a prayer. who could it be? believe it or not, it's just me.