caroline's baptism
(hannah and caroline and me, part eleven)
sunday was an eventful day in the o'kelley household. it was the day that caroline was to be baptized. it was to be followed by a lunch with family and friends. it was a day that meant we had to clean up the house the day before. and it was, finally, a day we would close by celebrating rebecca and (mostly) emma's respective birthdays. it was a day. a good one at that.
even though it felt busy and, in fact, was, the day didn't seem hurried. i found my mind wandering as i was getting ready for bed and thought to myself that this is what an off day should feel like. productive. restful. accomplished. and good. nothing was forced. nothing was obligated. it was all the way we had planned and hoped and prepared for, and that's the way it should have been.
if you had asked me early sunday morning how i felt the day was going to go, i would've expressed worry. i left the house feeling "off" for reasons that i couldn't put my finger on. was it that i was nervous about the day? was it that my mom had called around 730 to tell me that she was sick and wouldn't be coming? was it that my father never returned e-mails or calls that i had left him in the two weeks leading up to sunday but i still worried that he would show up? i don't really know. it could've just been allergies. but as the day proceeded, the "off" fell to the side and i felt complete and content with how we realized caroline's day.
baptisms are showy things for sure, especially in the methodist church. the act, itself, is nothing more than a symbol for something that has already occurred. that being said, i don't mind the show. caroline won't remember it, so it's not for her. but i do like the visual and very appropriate metaphor that it should "take a village" for a baby christian to be raised. the parents vow to uphold their end, but if we are failing or having a bad day, the congregation behind us will be there to pick us up and carry us. at least, that's the idea. god's given us, parents and congregation alike, a job. today, on this day of caroline's baptism, you are to swear, before god, to do your part. at least, that's the idea. i have secretly wished for some kind of congregational accountability service with regards to our respective baptismal vows. ok, maude. when caroline is four and says, you know, "fuck" in her kindgergarten class, you will make sure that she knows that is not "appropriate" in the children's place. amy and katie, when caroline starts spending too much time with boys around the age of nine, you two will redirect her attention towards sports or dance or something other than boys. cookie, when caroline finds herself at the "wrong place at the wrong time" at the age of fifteen and is arrested, you will pick her up from jail so that her father will have more time to fight off the urge to kill her. marie, as her grandmother, you will tell caroline that there is no such thing as "true love" at age seventeen when she tries to convince you otherwise. everyone else? y'all make sure that caroline knows the books of the bible, the history of the methodist church, why methodists are better than baptists in every way and why we "must" get out of worship by 1100. we will reconvene 18 years from today to see how we did. amen.
realistically, in eighteen years, humc will have forgotten about caroline altogether because she thinks too much or will no longer be around. and thus, most of the responsibility falls on me and sarah. we're cool with that. for a morning, though, it felt good to be wrapped in the arms of the family of my church. and it felt even better to have my grandmother by my side as the lone representative of my side of the family. as a perfect example of grace and unconditional love that has always been there for me even when i do so little to deserve her never-ending praise and so poor of a job maintaining our relationship.
maybe my sunday felt so good that night because everything after 1100 fell underneath the umbrella of a very satisfying experience at church. or maybe it's because i spent the entire day with people that i care about and that truly care about me and, not once, did i feel like i had to force a smile or a conversation. sunday felt the way every day should feel. stripped of pretense and dishonesty, full of love and happiness.
18 years from now when i am telling caroline about the day that she was officially recognized as a child under god's care, it warms my heart to think of what a beautiful and perfect story it will be.
9 comments:
that is a beautiful story. i am very glad for her (and you and sarah and hannah). as a baptist in name only, i have always thought the baptismal service was a great thing. though i am not a member of the congregation, i will do my best to teach her how screwed up baptists are, and how they should be avoided.
i knew i could count on you, my good and trusted friend. :)
wow that sounds awesome, kev. wish i could have been there.
I'm glad everything went well, and it was a great thing to witness. And I enjoyed the mental vows! :)
i wish you were too, bro. more than you know!
What a wonderful day for your family! Like you, I often wish the congregation would take their part of the vows a lot more literally and seriously. However, we Methodists don't do a very good job of teaching what baptism is all about. Most folks couldn't tell the difference between baptizing and infant and dedicating an infant. They assume it's just different language for pretty much the same concept, when, in reality, the theology is very different. Baptism, for us, is only partly on the parents, but it's mostly about God's action. God pouring out his Spirit on this child in a special and unique way. God claiming this child as part of his family. God's real presence and preveinient grace poured out in that water. So, yes, it's a symbol, but it's so much more than that.
Uncle Kiker promises to play Santa for you until you get tired of it, make totally obscene burgers for you and the family on major sporting events, and along with Uncle Andy will teach you loving Jesus is more important than what denom you call yourself.
I agree that we do too little to hold the church accountable for the vows we make to help nurture children. How many times have we watched adults complain about what the children and youth do instead of speaking directly to a child or youth because they say it is not their responsibility to do so. Hell yes it is their responsibility. I also agree that the show or the service is beautiful. [Especially that great anointing one of the pastors did :)] And I promise to do my part to nurture both your girls.
caroline,i do solemly swear, to teach you, upon acquisition of your first pubescent boyfriend, to disable another human being's central nervous system with your thumb and index finger. to take you camping, rock climbing, to teach you how to use a firearm responsibly, and if anyone ever fucks with you, to blow their friggin heads off and dispose of their bodies in a manner that will never be traced back to your family. hallelujah and amen."
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