what's in a (mother's) day?
(hannah and caroline and me, part twelve)


mother's day...hmm. i've never been a big mother's day guy. kind of like i've never been a big valentine's day guy. it would be easy to rest on the cliched notion that if you aren't showing your mom or valentine love every other day of the year, it would seem silly to start or to go way overboard on their respective manufactured holiday. i think, for me, there is more (or less) to it.

i don't remember my mom putting much stock in mother's day as we were growing up. granted, her mom died while i was relatively young, so i may just not be aware of how important it was to her. who knows. she didn't make us call our grandmother(s) or anything like that as far as i can remember. she didn't make it a big deal if we didn't go out of our way to get her more than a card or a hug. in my memory, mother's day was just a day.

in my house and my family now, sarah would probably tell you that mother's day is very close to just a day. we went out to dinner with the girls last night on mother's day eve (i am at the store this morning.) and it was nice. caroline was as fussy as she's ever been when we've taken her out to eat. hannah wasn't bad, but she wasn't great either. we hurried through our meal so as not to keep disturbing the folks around us. although, it was comforting, in a sick kind of way, that the family immediately behind us was having a rough time of it as well. i heard the mom tell the dad that she was never sitting next to her son again at dinner. i was thinking the same exact thing about hannah as she continuously kicked me and laid on top of me while i was trying to eat. as we left, i said sarcastically, "well, happy mothers day!" and sarah responded with a tired and equally sarcastic, "yeah. thanks."

truth be told, i am sure it did mean a lot to the mommy. any time we all spend together can be read on her face as a warm glow. not a pregnant glow, but the kind of look that says that she is content and happy in that moment. fortunately for her and our family, i see that look a lot. it's not written all day every day, but it doesn't take a holiday or a forced effort to bring it out either. i guess (or hope) that's probably a good thing.

so, what should mother's day mean to hannah and caroline as they get older? hannah already knows that she makes a card for mommy at school. she knows that i asked her with special emphasis this morning to follow all of mommy's directions the first time that she is asked. other than that, though, what? i don't want them to feel dispassionate about "celebrating" mother's day just because i might. but i do think this. i think the closer mother's day comes to feeling like just a day because of how much love she feels from them on the other 364 days of the year, the better job we, as parents, will have done.

will we still get her surprise presents from time to time? i am sure we will. will we still go out to lunch or dinner to make sure that she doesn't have to cook or clean dishes on "her" day? probably so. but, will it feel like a holiday from all of those other days that she doesn't feel appreciated for the hard work that it is being a mom? i hope not, because if it does, i will have failed.

happy mothers day, sarah. from hannah and caroline and me. here's hoping tomorrow feels exactly the same. in a very good way.