things that i will buy if i am lucky enough to make it into the lottery
(hannah and me, part twenty-seven)


as some of you may know, the nba draft is tonight. i have taken all the formal steps to put my name in the hat. i have not signed with an agent, therefore if i do not agree with the basketball philosophy of the team that picks me, i may opt for another year of development with my humc basketball team in the competitive 19 and up division of the birmingham baptist association's basketball league. i cannot remember how many scouts were at the last game of our season in february when i took our shorthanded team on my back and carried them to a near upset of the second best team in the league. the legend of that game has grown significantly (in my mind) and while i have no delusions of unseating oden or durant as one of the top two picks, i would love to play close to home and would have no qualms about playing in atlanta (they have the third pick). if they want to take me 11th, that's cool too. i keep hearing about my lack of "upside", and it's starting to annoy me. sure, i am 30 and most of the other prospects are 10 years younger, but who cares!!! i, today, pronounce 30 the new 20, and offer my services to any team worthy of my skills.


moving on, the most important part of draft night is prioritizing my outlandish material wants depending on my draft slot. here are some highlights as to what new additions casa and family o'kelley can look forward to after i sign on the dotted line.


1) an exact replica of this pool...

this was the pool that we spent most of our time in this weekend. the entire left-hand side of it is no deeper than a foot and a half and hannah had a blast playing, floating and following around older girls. we need this pool.

2) this woman...

before you go thinking anything weird, let me explain. i begged, pleaded with hannah all weekend to come into the ocean with me. for me, personally, i would rather be in the ocean and waves than the pool. it feels more relaxing. when the waves are choppy, you actually have to "work out" just to stay afloat. so i love the ocean. so far, though, hannah is not into it at all. we were able to coax her in to the water only one time the entire trip and you can guess now what the bribe included. mommy told her that if she went into the water with daddy, we could go up to the room and paint her fingernails and toenails (if kimberly is reading this, i know you are laughing). and it worked!!! granted, she kicked, screamed and cried the entire time, but it was worth it to me. so, knowing how well that bribe worked for me and for hannah, i will just buy (or hire) a full time manicurist/pedicurist and keep her on hand at all times for those special moments when hannah's feeling ornery. (also, thanks to google images for not spitting out an asian man/woman when i typed in 'manicurist' and keeping me from having to explain away being racist.)

3) a huge bed...

since hannah and we are satisfied with our beds at home, this king-size bed will be purchased solely to put away until we take a vacation that calls for hannah to sleep with us because marie and rebecca and emma and joseph are taking up all the other beds. one of our lasting memories from the trip will be hannah's refusal to sleep in her section of the bed and burrowing into the sides of her mommy and daddy. kicking her legs. slapping our faces. stealing the cover, etc. maybe putting her in the middle was an error on our parts. maybe. but damn, we gave her plenty of room. nevermind, though, with the new, huge bed, room will no longer be an issue.

4) otterpops. lots and lots of otterpops.

this one's easy and doesn't necessarily relate only to our trip, but hannah loves popsicles. and loved them on the trip. so, my final crazy purchase will be every otterpop i can get my hand on.

if you notice a trend with my outlandish, material wants, you are very keen indeed. i mentioned a couple days ago that it wouldn't take long for the marvelous memories of our very first, real family vacation to rise above the bad ones. i love thinking back and remembering sarah smiling, hannah cracking us up, hannah trying crab claws like a big girl, hannah and emma making rebecca laugh her big, glorious laugh, all-you-can-eating fried shrimp with joseph and talking my way out of walking on the beach (i hate long walks on the beach, whatareyougonnado?).

when you become a parent, though, everything comes back to your kid. sure, i'd buy sarah a new camry and some new sunglasses after coming to terms with my nba team, but i think we would both want to spoil the baby girl first and foremost.

you all can say you knew me back when. when i wasn't an nba superstar. because tonight's the night. oden. durant. o'kelley. it's got a nice ring to it.

sarah, will you hit the snooze button, please?