hannah and me, part twenty-eight
(it's a girl!!!)


let's face it. as i have stated here before, i firmly believe that once a guy comes to grips with the idea of being a father, that guy starts hoping to have a boy. i say that to you, but i believe that hope can one of the few "hope"s in life that one can pine for without being disappointed at the alternate outcome. i really do. there isn't one thing that i have found to be disappointed in when it comes to hannah being a girl. there isn't one thing i can imagine ever being disappointed in when it comes to my second child also being of the female variety. as far as caroline goes, there is a long time between now and when she decides what kind of girl she wants to be. with hannah, it is decided.

note the picture above as exhibit "a". hannah has been taking gymnastics for five weeks now. tonight will be her sixth. hannah is freaking girly. i am facing that now with a certainty that i had withheld for the longest time. it's not that i wanted her to be a complete and utter tomboy. and believe me, she has some of that in her. she doesn't mind running around the bases or getting dirty at the softball field. she doesn't mind running around outside of the church until she has sweated away her morning cup of applejuice. she doesn't mind getting sand in her bathing suit or dirty feet on the playground. she doesn't mind "the act" of getting gross in any way, which makes a dad proud. it's when she realizes that she's filthy that i understand i have a girly little girl.

if you've never heard her say, "oooh, gross." at herself or something else that she finds disgusting, well, my words are not going to be able to accurately depict how cute and nancypants-y it is all at one time. nana and granddaddy bought her a princess leotard some time ago that she rediscovered over the weekend. she proceeded to pull on the leotard over her pajamas (before rethinking the comfort factor of not being squeezed into two layers), put on some of her high-heel cinderella slippers and ballroom danced around the workout room to a combination of alkaline trio and goldfinger (if you know either of those bands, the image just got funnier). after refusing headwear for the longest time, which also makes a daddy proud, her leaving the house with a ponytail, pig-tails or an elastic headband is much more the rule than the exception now. i told you about "the bribe" at the beach. our coming home from school afternoon routine now includes me wiping off her dirty feet with a wet papertowel. she will not eat her snack with dirty feet. and now, she's taking gymnastics. i guess that's a little more manly (i guess) than tap or some other kind of dancing, but i think those things are coming too.

and so, nearly four years after the official announcement that our first born was going to be a girl, i am 100% sure that is the case. again, i am ok with that. i really am. it must be more fun for sarah this way. every time hannah prances around the house, we share a knowing glance that is her telling me, "it's ok. this is what girls do." and god knows that had it been my boy that jim nix ushered off the softball field last friday, my boy would have already learned and been able to use in the proper context the phrase, "fuck off, old dude, and just pitch the damn ball." so, having my baby girl has been good at my learning the life lesson of restraint.

tonight is parents' night at gymnastics. the first one didn't go so well. there is about a 60-40 chance that she is not going to perform in front of us in spite of the contractual incentives she and her mom have worked out (time on playground and frosty afterwards, among others). and if she doesn't? well, i won't think less of her. i'll be busy trying to keep her mommy from making a scene in front of the other parents and reminding her that "this is what girls do."

update: wow! she did great! after a very slow start that made us worry that the night was going to turn out to be a trainwreck, hannah warmed up, came through and did all of her exercises. very cute. and very proud am i (we).