hannah and me, part twenty-nine

"a picture is worth a thousand words." - chinese proverb

i surely won't add a thousand of my own. but it's hard to believe that this may be the last pre-caroline chapter in the series. i don't even know what i want to write about, necessarily. i just thought it would be nice for hannah to know that i was thinking of her. thinking of times like the one pictured above that i always seem to take for granted. i remember this particular nap in georgia vividly. you know what i remember? being uncomfortable and hot. pretty sad, huh?

it wasn't until i saw this picture that i thought about hannah being perfectly content. happy to take an exhausted nap on top of her daddy. meow in one hand, daddy in the other. it was a good, long nap and it served it's purpose. she was recharged for the rest of the day and the ride home afterward. and that's really what it's all about, isn't it? trying as hard as you can to make your child perfectly content. trying to balance that effort with her childish wants of candy and barbie movies and more candy and everything her way all the time. it's during those childish times that i tend to lose sight of the greater good. my benefit to her in times of better and in times of worse. my need to be for her full-time the kind of father and relationship that i lost when i was eight. i get frustrated. i get moody. i get short-sighted. and i hate that.

i think i am getting better, though. i haven't really been ashamed of myself, with regards to my actions around her, in a long time. maybe being aware of wanting to change really can translate to actual change. maybe. it's this kind of attitude that i am going to share with hannah soon and thank her for the lessons. because of her and her patience and grace, caroline will be the better for it. hannah will be the better for it. and we as a family will be better for it.

soon enough, the name of this series will change. hannah and me will be retired. hannah and caroline and me will be introduced. that sounds like fun. hannah, you are the most wonderful muse a man could ever ask for and your daddy loves you for inspiring me to couple something that i enjoy with what i hope, someday, is something you will see as a fun and special gift.

sleep tight, baby girl. you'll always have a spot on daddy's chest.