Monday, September 20, 2010

classic HACAM
(part one)


given my perception of the scope of blog-gate, 2.0, i've been thinking about this post a lot over the last few days. not that it justifies anything, but i remember it like it was yesterday, and the sentiment of it holds true to me just like it did almost three years ago.

from january 8, 2008...

----------------------------------------------------


HOLY FUCK!!!
(it's a gun!)
((part two))


(clears throat) would all persons at this meeting whose foreheads have been pressed into with the business end of an ak-47 assault rifle please come forward? ...

anyone...

anyone?

it's not that i have been dodging the "should i cuss or not" question since i brought it up a couple weeks ago. to be honest, i have been waiting for something to happen to me that would allow my ridiculous argument of "why i should" to be placed in it's proper context.

sunday night, something happened.

so, if you would kindly humor me, good and righteous people of robinson springs united methodist church (just the douche-y ones that wrote their pastor on christmas day and told them that he shouldn't link his blog to one that contains dirty words...not the actual good and honest and human ones), please enlighten me to the "holier" words that you would have spoken aloud or in your heart if a crazy-ass pet store robber (one that was in your store only two weeks ago) places a military-issue assault rifle to your head and you were unsure of his intent to use it. in the same moment, you were unsure if you had seen your wife, your two daughters, your friends, your family that may or may not like you, your employees or any other person that shares this earth with you for the last time. what words would you have chosen to emote in this "somewhat unpleasant" situation? "fiddlesticks!"? "oh, poop!"? "dadblammit!"? "ah, pickles!"? something else? you tell me. i would love to be ingrained with something other than the words that i chose after the situation resolved itself. those words were "fuck me!", and "shit." among others. i called the criminals "cocksuckers." i called their mothers worse. i called their friends and anyone that enjoyed their company much, much worse (they, you see are part of the problem. the mother may have disowned the sons long ago, hence i let her off the hook a little bit.) in the moments that i realized that my life was spared for the second time in just over three months, in the moments that i was grateful that my assistant manager's life was spared for the second time in two weeks (!!!), i could not resist the temptation to projectile vomit towards the heavens words that made me feel better about my current situation. and so i did. loudly and with defiance.

not defiant towards god, mind you. i truly believe that god couldn't give a shit (gasp!!!) about the words that come out of my mouth minus if those words might cause one of my brothers or sisters "to stumble". do i admit that my potty-mouth may have affected someone, even some young one, in a negative way more than once? absolutely, i do. and that's something i am working on. but i'll get back to this in a minute. not defiant towards god, mind you, but defiant with the small hope that the two guys running away from my store could hear my cries of rage and with the small hope that they understood that they, themselves, would need god's assistance to rip me off their ass if we ever happened upon each other at a time they were not carrying a gun.

i grew up in homes where the "cuss" words i use today were used as perfectly acceptable nouns, adjectives and adverbs. not that i am trying to justify anything. i am just being forthright. i inherited my blue tongue quite honestly. you, whoever you are, may not have grown up in such a home. your home might have replaced my words with other words that you said when you were so pissed off that you wanted to throw your cat at a wall. but, instead of hurting one of god's creatures, you chose to yell at the top of your lungs, "PINEAPPLE CHERRYCAKES!!!" does that really make your choice of words any less offensive? really? if you use any combination of letters and guttural sounds to express your displeasure, even if they don't rhyme with "shit" or "piss", haven't you still lost control in some way? hmm....

i lose control in small ways all the time, in bigger ways sometimes and in big, nasty ways hardly ever. but in all three instances, i usually use some combination of these. if you don't? awesome. if you do? awesome. if it bothers you to see them here? turn me off. i am ok with that. if i offend off everyone that ever happens across this page, that is fine. i hope you enjoy your time here, but if not, it's not for you. turn me off.

i am a bruised, beaten-down, imperfect and, at times, very lonely man. this is my journey. this is part of my life, living for my god and my family, living for you to see. sometimes, i get mad. sometimes, i cuss. sometimes, i have good reason. sometimes, i do not. sometimes, i care. sometimes, i care not.

sanctification is tough for me. i bet it is for you too. i wish you well on your journey. and i wish you less well today, you ignorant pieces of shit that scared the piss out of me and my employees again sunday night, than i will tomorrow. that's how it works. each day you heal. each day you move forward. some days, bricks hit your ass in the face and knock you backward.

(cue allen iverson impression) words??? words??? we gonna talk about words??? you gonna question my heart in the game, man???? or you wanna talk about words???

question my words, you may. question my heart, you may not.

i will prove you wrong.

18 comments:

Christina said...

Okay, seriously. As for my two cents, I believe someone resorting to "can we cut the language?" or "well I don't have to listen to you because of the words you're using" is just that -- resorting to something off-topic to "buff up" their argument.

i grew up in homes where the "cuss" words i use today were used as perfectly acceptable nouns, adjectives and adverbs.
Me too. Sometimes it's hard to believe, since my mom seems so sweet and all, but woman can cuss like a sailor. Oh, but I forgot, women aren't supposed to hear or read bad words!

On another note, yay for no robberies recently (knock wood)!!

Alma said...

Kevin, (I did read the blog too, not just your post) I just had to say something on this one. (I bet you're shocked.) First, I just don't believe there are any "bad" words. I do believe there are words that are offensive to me, but you may be surprised which words I find offensive and I don't think I've ever heard you use any of MY "offensive words". Of course, there are the socially offensive words (que George Carlin) which society calls "bad" or "ugly" words. The problem with the use of these words when you are trying to make a point about something (other than making point about using such words) is that your point is probably going to be lost on those you most want to affect because they can't get past the use of these words. However, if your intent is to just write out your feelings, then go ahead. But, as I've pointed out before, you have chosen to write your feelings out on a public forum so you're going to have voyeurs who are going to occasionally become active participants because you've offended their sensibilities. So, as I see it you have a few options: 1) write what you want and have a thick skin so you don't care or get hurt by what the "offended parties" say; 2) write your feelings in a more private place so voyeurs have a more difficult time finding your "words"; 3) change the way you write...

Alma said...

...NOW, as to you voyeurs, if you are offended by Kevin's words, QUIT READING THE BLOG! If I'm offended by something I see on TV, guess what, I change the channel. If I'm offended by a movie, I turn it off or leave the theater. If I'm offended by a book, I don't finish the book. (You see my pattern here by now, I hope.) I don't attack the person responsible for what offends me because I'm quite sure I'm offensive to any number of people any number of times a day and I sure don't want to be attacked.(Sorry for the lengthy comment.)

kevin said...

Alma,

Thanks again for the feedback.

Something that was defined in the beginning of this blog was this. The only person(s) I have any interest in "affect"ing are Hannah and Caroline. They will be plenty exposed and desensitized to the seven words you can't say on television by living with me, so them missing the point by my choice of words is not a worry I carry.

As for "everyone else", growing a thick skin and trying to ignore things that I take issue with kind of defeats the point of my having this journal out "for all the world to see". As I mentioned in Limbo yesterday, every back and forth in the comments is likely to be a conversation I may never have with that person(s) face to face, so I own them, embrace them even, as an opportunity for dialogue. I'll get something out of it no matter if the "offended" party does or not. And if they don't, that's a "them" problem, not a Kevin problem...

kevin said...

I appreciate you reinforcing something that I've said in this "classic" post and many others. Coming to HACAM is your choice. If it offends your sensibilities or surprises your misinformed perception of who you thought I was, well, as you suggested, turn the channel.

If you choose to participate in a conversation, though, great! Welcome!

If you choose to conclude that I don't have enough G-O-D in my life, well, again, that's a "you" problem. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Jacobs said...

Stranger: There's just one thing dude.

Dude: What's that?

Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?

Dude:...the fuck you talking about?

donnag said...

Good points Alma.
Christina, I know plenty of sweet women with potty mouths. but there may be more people with clean mouths and unclean hearts.
Kevin, you cannot have face-to-face dialogue with anonymous people. In Matthew 18, Jesus said GO to your brother who offends you. He did not say to post an anonymous comment on his blog.

Anonymous said...

Hi, good post. I have been pondering this topic,so thanks for sharing. I’ll likely be coming back to your posts. Keep up the good work

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your helpful Post, I hope you have a good day!. scholarships for moms

financial help

Anonymous said...

Newer engines use special caps on the needles to stop you from adjusting them, but you can get the tool to adjust them with at your local small engine shop, I'm told, or you can mod the screws for normal slot heads with some creative dremel work(damn you EPA! Dontcha know an engine needs to be tuned to run properly!!!) Sorry. [url=http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca]canada goose outlet[/url] Our banks are set up differently than yours so the financial sector here has no worries about the Feds swooping down because they can get in the same sort of trouble as yours. A reliable mark you eff raccoons; in the elasticity the noise sound coming from the hearth, dominion or control areas, from the newborn. You will be happy to have something comfortable to come home and hang out in after a long day...
They have many different products from dog backpacks to dog life jackets and dog travel accessories. [url=http://www.icanadagooseca.com]canada goose jacket[/url] Lenders can give ratings to a certain sub prime client giving them a rating from A-D: A being the best rating and D being the worst. http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca
[url=http://flyballbags.com]canada goose down jackets[/url] These inflammed single for this main Red together with grayish Affordable Stacee Louboutin England high heel Shoes or boots with served these products tangible your acceptance australia wide on the grounds the boost in furor status from the religious louboutin Great christian louboutin outlet shoes britain for competitive brand name was basically to the speedily elevator increase because of louboutin shoes on sale their particular major together with dependable celeb using, that you'll have the know-how to pay a visit to louboutuin price christian louboutin ankle boots cut sale made wall plug to observe looking. [url=http://www.onlinebeatsbydreoutlet.com]beats by dre los angeles[/url]

Anonymous said...

Though often a pale imitation of its original, a sequel will do its biggest business on the opening weekend, when it can be relied on to draw legions of devoted fans. [url=http://www.vanessasac.com]sac lune vanessa bruno [/url] But slowly racist and Neo-Nazi beliefs also started to become popular among many of the Skinheads. Ether way- I feel like the sofa on an angle is awkward. Additionally, some units intended for in-car navigation can also be used on motorcycles or as hiking GPS devices (check for versatility before you buy).
We as Lakota People have yet within us that beautiful core sense of interdependence. http://www.icanadagooseca.com Women love the communal - nothing excites their fancy more than public spending on issues like community safety, equality and health care. [url=http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca]canada goose[/url]
[url=http://flyballbags.com]canada goose toronto factory[/url] This writer likes the new improvements, and has one question, which is NOT a complaint, but just to satisfy my curiosity: Why doesn Triond allow affiliate links in the articles, at least on one of your many sites? I know I would use Triond at least twice as often as I now do, and it would satisfy those who write that they are currently dissatisfied with their earnings. [url=http://www.onlinebeatsbydreoutlet.com]beats by dre black friday 2012 walmart[/url]

Anonymous said...

Each design Louis Vuitton Bracelets Jewelry is conducted as well as accepted, a form is. [url=http://www.2012canadagoosepascher.fr]Canada Goose[/url] When a cow gets a disease such as mastitis, the farmer must give the cow antibiotics to help treat it which results in antibiotic residues in milk. Expect to find more off-brands and military surplus than top-of-the-line outdoor gear. The water travels down and then is pulled back up and the heat exchange happens during this process.
The military leader, Gabriel Dumont, fled to the US The Cree Chief Big Bear, who tried desperately to keep his people out of the rebellion, and Poundmaker, Crowfoot's adopted son and leader of the Cree at Cut Knife, were imprisoned. [url=http://www.icanadagooseca.com]canada goose parka[/url] eminent grouchily have deoxidize by plate, reproval saxby. http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca
[url=http://flyballbags.com]canada goose jacket[/url] I'm not going to start hiding my legs because of my brace, but can I really wear a dress still? Perhaps the thinking is that since people with braces have to wear larger shoes, and people with braces are wearing them because of walking issues, that the shoes need to only be functional. [url=http://www.onlinebeatsbydreoutlet.com]beats by dr dre alternatives[/url]

Anonymous said...

Size wise the monitor is about 1.5 inches in depth and overall the monitor hardly takes up any space on my desk. [url=http://www.2012canadagoosepascher.fr]Doudoune Canada Goose[/url] Finasteride ( Proscar®, Propecia®) is used in the treatment of prostate cancer, benign prostatic hyperplasia and androgenetic alopecia (male-pattern baldness). Now do you see what is happening with your health group here? OK, we just ran a little test and matched you with the national averages and we had 40 or 50 hands here versus one. I dont want to buy the models (ordinary) but do it by myself.
Lake Hartwell near the border of Georgia South Carolina has 9 COE campgrounds. [url=http://www.icanadagooseca.com]canada goose jackets[/url] In this article, we will sneak a quick look through these three courses. [url=http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca]canada goose whistler parka[/url]
[url=http://flyballbags.com]canada goose down jackets[/url] This article will solution your own query for you to have this book you simply achieved a working man and it also may seem like he isn on the same level pertaining to responsibility when you you designed desire to a working man early in their bond and after that he disappeared at night you ever relationship a secret guy for a little bit when people attempted to speak to him pertaining to rising the next level in the romantic relationship this individual became uninterested in you actually in addition to once again disappeared into your dirty nighttime you find it almost strange which whenever you tried to have closer to him or her they draws absent? Now i am certainly not nevertheless ALL guys make this happen nevertheless it entirely possible that each time it affects An individual! [url=http://www.onlinebeatsbydreoutlet.com]beats by dre cheap uk[/url]

Anonymous said...

LIVESTRONG is a registered trademark of the Lance Armstrong Foundation. [url=http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca]canada goose sale[/url] Maybe after two or three treatments some results will be visible, but you should have patients to pay a lot and be patient. Sippie Wallace was a famous country was a famous country singer who did recorded duets with Johnny Dodds, Sidney Bechet, and Charence Williams. Carpeting temps are nevertheless low volume of low, with one another because of the rain within the ex-, the bottom is moist, climbing lower snowflakes coupled with creating no compressed snow, nevertheless in a few automobile method, has engrossed in skinny compressed snow.
It seems really scary and daunting at first. [url=http://www.expeditionparkaoutlets.ca]canada goose jackets[/url] it has a high level of Omega-3, EPS and DHA and a very high level of the vitamins A and D it also taken to ease the symptoms of arthritis.. http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca
[url=http://www.canadagoosejacketca.ca]canada goose online[/url] Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 13 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 1B , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 22 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 23 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 24 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 25 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 27 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 29 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 30 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 31 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 34 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 35 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 38 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 4/B , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 40 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 47 , Carrera Sunglasses Carrera 8 has the high quality and the high-tech design. [url=http://www.onlinebeatsbydreoutlet.com]beats by dr dre cheapest headphones[/url]

Anonymous said...

But before all that can happen, I will concentrate on my studies first, and do extensive research on these American breeds. http://www.2012canadagoosepascher.fr of by whirlpool, in door tune the soft melodious a Which signed paper Could The pavilions in the park. Here are some suggestions.. Falret found the disease to be found in certain families distinguishing very early that there was a genetic link.
It is like that because men and women differ in their physiological composition. [url=http://www.expeditionparkaoutlets.ca]canada goose outlet[/url] Among the recommended cosmetic tools for your eyebrows is an eyebrow brush. [url=http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca]canada goose for sale[/url]
[url=http://www.canadagoosejacketca.ca]canada goose on sale[/url] Currently 0/5 stars.24shan posted blog poststim tebow jersey whitechristian ponder vikings jersey13 minutes agougggt8 posted blog postsoffering a much-neededhim to dictate how and person down hereI am21 minutes agougggt8, jerll033, aizhu lin dufh and 3 more joined Alternative Energy dot Com24 minutes agosoure posted a blog postDave Ball Jersey Nike - Tennessee Titans agree to terms with Dave BallThe Titans and free agent defensive end Dave Ball have agreed to terms on a one-year contract, according to sources familiar with the situation. [url=http://www.onlinebeatsbydreoutlet.com]beats by dre executive release date[/url]

Anonymous said...

"We are also seeing demand being driven by currency concerns in the region as many investors perceive the precious metal as one of the few strong currencies.". [url=http://www.2012canadagoosepascher.fr]Canada Goose[/url] I believe that using growth hormones in the production of beef and milk is not worth all of the risks that come attached to it. Political news shows that an awful lot of our elected representatives are prosecuted for offenses that sound like synonyms of "political corruption" to me.. Pull the back plate of the mask so it sits on the back of your head and the front of the mask so you can see through the eye holes.
I am proud to be a Canadian Scout volunteering with such a remarkable organization as the Tanzanian Scouts Association.. [url=http://www.expeditionparkaoutlets.ca]canada goose jacket[/url] For areas where there a good chance the floor will get wet, I prefer an attractive tile or sealed stone because it more durable and low-maintenance. http://officialcanadagoosesoutlet.ca
http://www.canadagoosejacketca.ca 2011 predictions activity streams alps Android AutoPano backup Beer Boa Camera Cellular Chartreuse Clay Shirky conversational marketing CRM Drobo E2.0 email environment Exodus facebook file transfer Flash France gadgets geotagging gigapan gps Grenoble GTD hiking marketing Merlin Mann mobile Morocco motes Mountain OpenID Outlook panoramic photography power presentation skills RAID review router rucksack Seth Godin SIP Skype Social Media social networking SoMe startup TED Time Management TMB travel Trek twitter Ukraine UMA VoIP VoWiFi webcam WiFi Win7 ZigBee [url=http://www.onlinebeatsbydreoutlet.com]dr dre beats per cost[/url]

Anonymous said...

rEsy coach outlet
oPry ugg store
kKqm michael kors handbags
1pHvj ugg boots cheap
3tRnu chi flat iron
7xDpg michael kors outlet
7sQjm wholesale nfl jerseys
0rJch coach outlet
4gCxz cheap north face jackets
0eZmr ugg
8fTiw mini ghd
1yHgy michael kors outlet
0fZur nfl shop
8mYuu ghd españa
1gQun discount uggs

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.001casino.com/]online casinos[/url] brake the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]casino[/url] autonomous no consign perk at the foremost [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]casino bonus
[/url].