the "new normal"


i've spent an unhealthy amount of time in front of the computer on this, my first day of my "homebound" week. i've read many articles. digested, oh, so many columns. processed many pictures. and given myself a headache.

oh, and i also watched this again.

you've seen it. it's the wedding party entering in to chris brown's "forever". i don't know where i was, actually, that linked to it, but i went and watched the whole thing over again.

and i cried like a flipping baby. i am not talking about my eyes teared up at the joy that was seeing two people in love joining together with their friends to breathe new life into an old ceremony.

from about the 2:00 mark on, i was bawling. like someone i loved dearly had passed. and i have no idea why. maybe sarah or some other psycho-analyst can read the tea leaves and tell me what might have been going on in my head at the time. in my opinion, i was releasing...something. it felt kind of good. and kind of weird all at the same time.

goodness.

so, yeah. i think i am still coming to terms with the whole having "had" cancer thing.