jazz hands, everyone!!!
(525,600 reasons why i will never see rent)


disclaimer: most of these reasons are pretty damn shallow

1. it's a musical. if you have to express your inner monologue (or inner fabulous-ness) by breaking out into song, i would rather read a book. granted i've enjoyed a musical here and there. moulin rouge was campy and retro enough to be a guilty pleasure. i enjoyed chicago in spite of myself. these are most definitely exceptions to my rule, though, and rent will not be joining this very short list.

2. for some reason, every time i see the trailer to this movie, i want to throw up.

3. anthony rapp should've stopped acting after adventures in babysitting. this movie was a masterpiece and his mt. everest. why lower yourself, anthony, with all the singing?

4. most of my employess at coldstone are theater/tech. students. this plays well when trying to convey a happy, singy environment to separate coldstone from other ice-cream shops, but if i hear the words rent and "spectacular", "fabulous", "amazing", or "unbelievable" in the same sentence one more time, i am going to have to shut myself in the freezer. also, i don't need you to sing to me your own personal rendition of some "fabulous" song from rent while i am making the schedule. "it will negatively affect your hours and the friends you want to work with." while i am smiling and telling you how much i enjoy your song, this is what i am actually thinking.

5. rosario dawson should still be kicking someone's ass in sin city. not singing.

6. going to see rent or any movie musical does not make you "cultured". it makes you lazy. if you want culture, go see the musical on a stage. go play in the museum of art. read a book. please don't draw any comparisons between rent and any other movie musicals in some sort of critical analyses. they are all movies.

7. i don't have time to see many movies. if i have to choose between those that are out now or will soon be out, i would place good night and good luck, syrianna, narnia, aeon flux, harry potter, chicken little, king kong, jarhead, or a dennis quaid family comedy over rent.

8. did i mention that seeing the trailer makes me want to throw up? i cannot explain this gutteral reaction scientifically...

9. i am already waiting to hear how the soundtrack has changed someone's life...

i'll cut the list 525,591 reasons short. i could go on, but shaun alexander just kicked off.

call me close-minded. in this case you would probably be right. my rationale, most likely, would not hold up in court. like it if you want. "love it!!! (with a lisp)" if you must. just don't tell me that it's "fabulous"...

...please.