#18


not every day on chemo is terrible. if it was, i would have found a way to quit. well, maybe not. i would have tried to talk my way into quitting.

the better days are like a good golf shot by a hack like me that never plays the game. that one good shot out of the 115 i may hit in a given round is enough to make me thing i could ever be good at golf. that one better than terrible day on chemo is enough to make me believe that tomorrow won't be terrible either. i'm experienced enough to know that i am fooling myself now.

i'm happy to go to bed fooling myself tonight.

toxicities present:

hobbled around pretty bad for a large portion of the day, but, after being off my feet for most of the evening, the pain is tolerable as i type this.

still can't taste. that part isn't going to change until late may. my only hope now is that ulcers don't form to make matters worse.

stomach was still pretty crampy today, but better than yesterday.

no significant reflux today.

fatigue is still hitting pretty hard around 3:00 every afternoon. but you think i'm a little bitch when i whine about fatigue. i just know it.

pain (scaled 1-10):

4