#20


"nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity."

voltaire had it right.

i mean, really. think of the act of eating. it's ridiculous. we sit down at a table. shove shit in our mouth. chew it. taste it. destroy that meat or vegetable or fruit into mush in our mouth. swallow the paste-y mish-mash down on our necks. we kill hours on end that we could be reading a book. working on the yard. watching television. playing with the kids. scrolling around on facebook or twitter and getting pissed at people that are "all about" that sweet baby jesus but only post shit about politicians that don't make the choices they agree with and hate on gay people. maybe i am being dramatic. but you get my point. eating, the act of eating is a big waste of time.

except, if we don't do it, we'll likely die.

that, and eating things we discover we like is fucking fantastic.

in the last couple of months, the new thing on facebook seems to be posting super-fucking close-ups of some dish or dessert and then have people slobber about how how great it looks. i'm fairly confident that if i took a super-fucking close-up of a 14 year old burger from mcdonald's it would look like an orgasm. so, really, just pull back the camera, remember that it's just food and go exercise. do a sit up. walk around the block. stop slobbering over food like it's the only thing in life you enjoy.

i'm jealous, really.

my mind still knows exactly what things are supposed to taste like. so, when my body tells me i'm hungry, things still sound good. and then i put them in my mouth. and then they are a watered down, cardboard-y metal tasting version of themselves.

tonight, i went to one of my favorite places on earth, rock 'n roll sushi. my sushi was barely alright, although the tiniest little spice in one of the rolls lit my mouth up like i was taking on the habanero challenge.

my mouth has fully turned now. nothing tastes right. my mouth burns at the silliest fucking sensations. it hurts to brush my teeth. to drink a coke. to chew a chip.

nothing about eating is fun.

so, if i call you fat in my head when you post that juicy picture of a fish taco or that oreo/quadruple chocolate/topped with liquid sex dessert dish tomorrow, it's not personal. it's not you. it's me.

i just want to taste my food again. and i won't be able to for another three weeks.

cry me a river, right?

again, in the grand scheme of things, it's no biggie. still sucks.

#20

toxicities present:

the mouth thing is getting bad. no ulcers. but it's getting bad.

laying down on my ass all day yesterday has stemmed the tide of flames that is the bottom of my feet. we'll see how they respond from being back up and about today tomorrow.

stomach. while i've been able to keep food down today, it's never great to sit down to go number two and it sounds like you're going number one. that and the cramping from having nothing in my system in pretty uncomfortable.

pain (scaled 1-10):

4