#26



http://www.cancer.net/all-about-cancer/treating-cancer/managing-side-effects/hand-foot-syndrome-or-palmar-plantar-erythrodysesthesia

the above link, which isn't really that interesting if you're not on chemo, does a nice job of detailing one of my more serious and consistent side effects, my hand/foot syndrome.

this morning after I got out of the shower, i took and posted a couple of nasty pictures on facebook of the bottoms of my two feet. if you were unlucky enough to see them, you were probably all like, "what the fuck is this on my feed?", but i needed to put them there to document what i hope is the last time i'll have to deal with this shit.

if you saw the pictures, you'll notice that the left foot, specifically the heel, is waiting to give me the most trouble in the next couple of days. this morning, i woke up and could feel the sensitivity coming. i had to be careful walking around the house with only socks on. if i stepped too flush on the hardwood or the sculpted carpet, it would have sent a sharp, shooting pain up my left leg.

when i've worked out over the last nine months, i've had to stand on a folded up, soft blanket while doing my curls and my military presses so that i have a few inches between the bottoms of my feet and the ground. i can still feel anywhere from a dull sting to a piercing pain while i'm exercising, but i've been too stubborn to completely give it up. everyone that reads this blog knows how fat-phobic i am. my feet have kept me from running for almost ten months now. i've absolutely refused to stop doing what i can to burn a calorie here and there and stay in some semblance of shape.

my feet are going to get worse over the next several days. i hope that they cycle in a similar fashion as they have in the last couple months, where i'll only have two or three days where walking is nearly impossible, and then they ease up a little for me.

#26

toxicities present:

i've mentioned and showed you the feet on facebook. today was the beginning of the bad. my stomach is slowly turning into a boiling cauldron of hate. as soon as food hits the bottom, it is mixed up and spit through in haste, teasing me on its way out to think that i ever had any chance for part of it to stick to my bones.

pain (scaled 1-10):

2.5 - i am still fine with shoes on. and when i'm not in the bathroom. i can tell i am on chemo again.

and chemo is a helluva drug.